Or is £100 a month pocket money fair?

[Picturesofmatchstickmen]

DH thinks it's too much pocket money for dd1(18) She is at college full time so we still get CB for her. She repeated a year at school so is at the stage of most 17 year old, but technically an adult. I give her £50 basic a month, plus another £50 at the end of the month if she does a few jobs around the house (max thirty minutes a day) she also babysits her younger brother and sister whenever asked (varies, sometimes once a week, sometimes more) and makes them lunch, dinner if we are working.
I also pay for her phone, Netflix and haircuts (all adds up to another £50 a month) I buy essential clothes. She spends her money on going to gigs, train fares visiting friends, non essential clothes, make-up, going out, cinema, lunch while at college (but this is because she doesn't get up on time to make a packed lunch) and equipment for her hobby.
DH thinks because she works in a takeaway until early hours two nights a week then we should reduce her allowance. I think if she's motivated enough to do this on top of full time study she should get to keep or save that money to spend as she wants. I should add that the course, although classified as full time, is actually only 28 hours a week over four days.
I'd be really interested to know how much money other people give to their older kids? We are not well off, but can afford to give her this money whilst we are still getting CB for her.

I don't think what you give her is unreasonable at all. She seems to do a lot for it compared to other teenagers. Perhaps encourage a linked savings account to an online banking with a standing order of £20 or something? It sounds like this money will be reduced once child benefit does so until then let her have some fun. Plenty of time for saving and paying bills when she's grown up a bit!!

And for what it's worth I received no spends ever. When I started working at 16 I always blew the lot!

If you can afford it then it's up to you.

Seems a totally different world though. I'm not hugely older than your DD and at 18 I hadn't had pocket money for five years - as soon as I started working part time, the pocket money stopped and I had to start paying for things like haircuts, phone etc. She sounds very lucky.

Hope she appreciates it! Make sure you're teaching her about budgeting and saving; it's ridiculous the number of people going to uni/into independent life without the first clue about budgeting.

Fucking hell I got £6 a week until I got a job at 17, then it stopped! That was only 6 years ago as well!

When I was at college, i had a part time job - about £200 a month. I paid for everything myself but didn't pay rent and the only out-goings I had was my phone contract. She's lucky but sounds hard working.
I don't think it's comparable to others though, if parents can afford it, do whatever suits your family. I I know when my DDs are older, I will support them as much as I can.

I think it's fine. I think having a social life is really important at that age and going to gigs etc adds up.
I think I spent about £30 a week going out at that age late 90s.

I think it's a lot of purely disposable income, more than she will have when she starts out on her own. If you can afford it then I think it's not excessive. But I do think it is too much to help her to learn the skill of budgeting, as demonstrated by the fact that she's obviously blowing the lot. And at 18 she needs to learn that skill, and fast. So I'd cut down for that reason, and save some as you suggest. I'd also cancel the Netflix at the end of the month, she can get her own. And the next phone contract should be hers, too. If she has any sense she'll keep the handset and goPAYG.

Nothing. My dd started a weekend job at 15 so earned her own money. If she needed anything expensive we went halfs on it for her.

Your dd could take in more hours and she really needs to be learning about budgeting ect...

To me that is a lot if you're also paying for Netflix etc. Doesn't matter if you can afford it - having less should show her basic budgeting.

I think you value things a lot more when you've worked to pay for them.

I think she's old enough to start budgeting. I've always said I won't pay for any years that have to be redone at school.

I did a calculation for clothes for my kids (much younger than yours). It was based on reasonable needs not wants.

It came to about 70€ a month including clothes and shoes for various sports, but as they already had all their kit I reduced it to 40€ as they only need to top up.

This only applies to the eldest as she passes all her stuff down to DD2. DD2 gets 30€ a month as a result.

I got fed up of being badgered for clothes and this seems a better way to introduce budgeting. And is far less than I was actually spending. DSD gets a little less as she is 50/50 with her mum. That said I have just paid for her first bras -as she hadn't got any -to discover when she was fitted that she is 34C aged 10!

I will gradually add in other elements. I pay for phones as I get a better deal than they can.

I think you ought to get your daughter to sit down and do a budget for everything she needs and NOT what she wants. You should cover needs and she should cover wants. First year should be less as she already has a full wardrobe.

She does a fair amount around the house, gets on with her siblings and babysits whenever asked, works hard at college and has a part time job. TBH she sounds a dream kid and you've plainly done your task as mum well.

No views on the pocket money as I have no idea what sort of budget a social life with her group of friends would cost. It's all relative, isn't it. I just wanted to say I hope mine are as sorted and pleasant as she sounds, when they reach 18.

we give our 17 Ds £50 a month, but we pay for clothes, haircut, netflix, toiletries well basically everything apart from his mobile top up. When he goes out with his friends I give him extra.

He normally spends his £50 on buying food at college as he don't take a pack lunch.

DS, 17, gets £40 a month paid into his account and I was thinking of increasing it to £50. But we pay for his phone, haircuts, clothes, driving lessons etc. I also wouldn't hesitate to give him a tenner if he's going out and is short of cash.

It does seem a lot of money to me...but my DM was always struggling for money so my sibling and I had pocket money each week until we were 13 years old and then we were old enough to get a paper round and earn our own money.

At 13 years old I had a paper round, a weekly babysitting job and in the school holidays worked in a cafe washing up. I loved earning my own money 😊

dd1 is 18 next month and is also repeating year 12. She gets £60pm and has to pay for her own phone credit, clothes and shoes. We pay for school stationery, toiletries and driving lessons. It was £50 a month, but went up in January.

When she had a part time job, all the wages were hers.

I was 18 more than 20 years ago, but got the CB (so about £40/month), plus about £130/month wages). I spent it all on drink, clothes and bus fares.

Rather than giving her the £100 a month- could you put £50 a month into a savings account for her? I'm 25 and if my parents had done that for me at that age I would be very thankful now i'm thinking about house deposits, buying my own car etc. I think you are being more than generous- at that age my expenses were my own and I didn't have a job! I got my hair cut twice a year- birthday and Xmas (luckily my birthday is in July so it was pretty much every 6 months) and paid my own phone bill out of my ESA. She won't understand at 18 but give it a few years and when she is moving out/at university/buying a car she will be grateful.

She is an adult OP. I can understand she is your "baby" but she needs to learn to start being responsible and excepting she can't have everything unless she goes out and earns the money to pay for it.

My mum paid for everything for me when i was 18. Now im 21 with a dd i wish she never. I had no idea how to budget so when i had to pay for a car, insurance, rent, food and clothes it was hard but now im fine it just took a while to figure it all out. I have opened dd a savings account so she doesnt get stuck like me.

Fly makes a good point, I don't know your individual finances but if you had saved even half of the equivalent 'pocket money' that you are giving her that would be a fantastic chunk towards a deposit for her first home/university expenses/car or whatever you feel is important. We could, in theory, give our DS a lot of pocket money but choose not to, if he wants a fabulous social life (as someone said further up) then it is up to him to budget his money for nights out.

I don't remember much about my social life as a teenager, but I do know how proud I was to be able to buy my own home with a decent deposit and pay off my mortgage by the time I was in my early 40s. .

Not RTFT, but I gave mine £10 a week, and paid for all the extras. She did no/very little chores. With yours doing chores, it seems fair to me.

She is currently getting £100 cash, free haircuts, phone paid for, clothes bought for her and all her bills paid. In addition, she has her own wages, which she spends.
If that is all added up, her monthly expenditure is huge for an 18year old.

Exactly.

How many working adults have that kind of money to spend on themselves every month. She spends all that money and doesnt save anything.

She wants driving lessons but is pissing money up the wall on crap every month.

I think I really depends on your own finances and lifestyle.
My parents were divorced and I played them against each other a bit. Ended up with £30 most weeks in 6th form, plus 'lunch money' and occasional phone top ups. They would buy me clothes if I was with them. If I was shopping with friends I bought them myself. Plus I worked almost full time in the holidays.
With hindsight I'd consider myself spoilt but my parents could afford it, it was in line with what my friends were getting and I've turned out to be very sensible with money!
I had far less expendable income once I went to university but managed absolutely fine.

In our house, the teens help out with the housework because they contribute to the mess and add to the laundry pile, and the babysitting is done to earn Netflix etc. I certainly don't give them £100 a month pocket money - that's what part time jobs are for, and given that she has one of those you are basically topping up her wage to a pretty generous level.

I do think she should learn to budget, and there are courses and apps for this, but I also think you get £100 at least of labour from her in the month, even if you decide that housework should be included as a contributing member of the family.
If she does five sessions of babysitting a month that is your £100 right there.
Netflix is a family subscription I assume?
Does she really get her hair cut once a month
And is the phone paid for because you overall get a better rate with more people on your contract?

Have you thought about how her car insurance will be paid- never mind the lessons or the cost of the car it is the insurance that will sting. Maybe you could ask her to contribute/pay for this which will knock her allowance right down

Despite what I said previously- learning about money also comes down to self control. I was terrible with it even 12 months ago. I spent it as soon as I got it. I got my first pay cheque a week ago and I have only just today spent the first £35 of it on petrol. I won't be spending another penny of it until my phone bill is due at the end of the week. A year ago I would of gone out and blown it in half a day.

Part of it is because I don't know what to do with it, part of it is I just don't want to waste it on shit. My parents told me and told me for years not to waste it, refused to bail me out etc- but did I learn? No. I just had to grow up a bit and learn to be responsible.

She is 18. I doubt many 18 year olds who look past buying the latest trend, topping up their phone and going out with their mates. If you have an 18 year old who puts money into savings on their own back/is responsible for it- then really, good for you. But from very recent past experience it isn't very common.

As I said OP- if my parents turned around tomorrow and said heres £5000 or whatever that we have saved up for you since you were 18, i'd be very grateful. Lots of my peers my age would say the same thing.

We all do things differently- if OP wants to pay her DD for chores, that is up to her. But when you consider all you give her already OP you need to think about putting it aside to give to her in the future just don't be like my parents and change your mind and spend it on yourself.