Or is £100 a month pocket money fair?

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DH thinks it's too much pocket money for dd1(18) She is at college full time so we still get CB for her. She repeated a year at school so is at the stage of most 17 year old, but technically an adult. I give her £50 basic a month, plus another £50 at the end of the month if she does a few jobs around the house (max thirty minutes a day) she also babysits her younger brother and sister whenever asked (varies, sometimes once a week, sometimes more) and makes them lunch, dinner if we are working.
I also pay for her phone, Netflix and haircuts (all adds up to another £50 a month) I buy essential clothes. She spends her money on going to gigs, train fares visiting friends, non essential clothes, make-up, going out, cinema, lunch while at college (but this is because she doesn't get up on time to make a packed lunch) and equipment for her hobby.
DH thinks because she works in a takeaway until early hours two nights a week then we should reduce her allowance. I think if she's motivated enough to do this on top of full time study she should get to keep or save that money to spend as she wants. I should add that the course, although classified as full time, is actually only 28 hours a week over four days.
I'd be really interested to know how much money other people give to their older kids? We are not well off, but can afford to give her this money whilst we are still getting CB for her.

I agree with Mrs.TP, your daughter needs to learn to budget.
Once she is earning a wage, she will be bombarded with credit cards, store cards, loan offers and if she has become accustomed to spending without a real appreciation of value or budget, she could get into a financial mess.

£150 a month plus wages seems loads. My daughter gets £70 a month for everything except school stuff, shoes, coats and basic toiletries.

She sounds fab, a credit to you.

She's a lucky girl, will you adopt me
When I was in my 6th year at school, my dad stopped my £7.50 pocket money to force me to get a job. Believe me, I tried. Those were in the days you could just go in to a shop and ask. I also wrote lots of letters. I was intelligent, polite and well-presented. I just didn't seem to have the relatives already working in Fine Fare Ave Safeway that everyone else did
My mum gave me the family allowance which was £7.50 a week.
I saved the £5 bus fare and dinner money that my dad gave me and walked ran to school. Had nothing for lunch except a 5p cup of milk. I was very slim
Sometimes I'd make myself a sandwich to take.
I wasn't given money for clothes or anything at all. Toiletries, going out with friends, anything.
That was very hard at the age of 17. And my
Mum and dad both had good jobs, I know they could have afforded it.
My dad didn't know that my mum gave me the family allowance.
I also did loads of housework and I'd spend my 4 free periods on a Friday ironing all my dad and brother's shirts. I wasn't asked to, I enjoyed doing housework and ironing. I don't now
When I look back, I managed to go out with my friends at the weekend and get drunk but I found it hard. When they started going into town, I couldn't go as it was too much money.
I really resented my dad for it, I know he was trying to make a point but I was honestly a cooperative, helpful pleasant teenager. I really did try hard to get a job and couldn't understand how some of the complete numpties other teenagers I
was at school with could get a job and I couldn't.
Your daughter is very lucky.

I am going to hide this thread

Ds1 (17) gets £20 a month and £10 IF he mows the lawn

Fine fare and Safeway
That should have said

I think that's a HUGE amount (and actually a LOT more than £100 if you are also paying phone, haircuts, Netflix and clothes).
Part of me says - well - if you have loads of money then why not / it's up to you, but part of me thinks - it depends why you are giving her pocket money.

If you just have plenty of disposable income and want to share it with her, then fine - your choice and good fortune. However, a lot of parents give their dc pocket money to help them learn to budget. Well, with you effectively giving her £150 (?ish) a month, then she will never have to budget, so I guess it depends if you are always going to be able to be so generous or if she's going to net a nasty shock in a year or two when having to budget at University, or whatever she does in life.

I have a 17 yr old who we give £17 per month. She has a bus pass (for school, but she can use it 24/7 throughout the year) but when she chooses to use the train (which she prefers) she pays for herself. She puts own credit on her phone if she wants it, and we buy clothes she needs, she buys if there's something she fancies. She's paid for her own driving lessons (except first 10 which were a 17th birthday present from us). She works as a lifeguard so understands the concept if she wants to spend on treats, then she knows the equivalent number of hours she needs to work, to pay for them. She is expected to help around the house, as she lives here as part of the family - as everyone who lives here is. Nobody gets paid for contributing to the house, that's part of being a family (or house share, or indeed, when you live on your own, you get the lot).

I would talk to her about it - about how part of our job as parents is to help our DC make the transition into the adult world, and managing a budget is part of that. I totally agree that taking away money because she is working is counterproductive - ask her is she feels that now she is working she might be able to save regularly? Would she like you to put some of the money you give her into a savings accounts for her? My dd ( at uni so has a loan) gives me her cash from her job (so she's not tempted to spend it) and I transfer that money into her account from mine. She's bought premium bonds - not a great return, but safe and with the fun of ocassionally winning:-)

I think there is a HUGE difference between being able to afford to support your DC in this situation and simply not being able to do it. My parents could not support me once I was 18, I knew that and never asked them for anything. My exHs family were loaded and he grew up knowing that there was a safety net. His parents were very generous with their money. My mother always thought that was the right thing to do - support your children if you could. She used to say that she would do exactly the same if she'd had the money and I believe she would have.

Artificially withoulding support is something I can't get my head around. One of dds friends has this with her parents, they could afford to help her but don't, so that she "learns the value of money" all it's teaching her is to resent them. I'm not arguing for throwing money at them - but it doesn't sound like you're doing that OP and yes, she sounds lovely. Talk to her about it would be my advice.

Ds is 16 and gets £50 a month plus phone (£20). He pays for all his clothes and haircuts ( every 4 weeks)
He also gets about £350 a month from his p/ t job. He saves £200-250 and spends the rest....he has an expensive clothes habit.
He's funding his own driving lessons next month. He doesn't get a family holiday but has just come back from a week away with school.
He is incredibly focussed when it comes to saving...he saved £1000 for spending money on his school trip. Next big saving project is a car.

I do like the idea of encouraging her to budget- the phone and Netflix are in my name, so I will carry on paying them directly for peace of mind! But the budgeting tool is a great idea mrsterrypratchett

That's an awful lot of money.

I can't imagine dd being able to work much at that age due to her dance commitments but I'd expect to pay £10 PE month for her phone, provide basic clothes, food, uniform, school/college lunches & travel & then give her around £25 per month pocket money.

Babysitting etc would be paid on top of that but not general family chores.

I think i would give her whatever the CB is, after all you wouldn't get it if she wasn't studying at 18 still. However, I wouldn't pay for haircuts and clothing anymore. How much of the 100 is from CB? While she studies I would provide all food at home, she can take pack up from that.
You can still treat her to things if you wish, but make them gifts, not the standard. I think going from getting given pocket money to paying board in a few short months will be too big a shock if you don't start cutting back now.

Bloody hell, I was workin pt for Sainsbo's at that age

I'm going to have a chat with her and suggest that as she is earning regularly I will give her £50 and save £50. She wants driving lessons at some point and DH and I decided that if she paid half we would pay half (she doesn't know that yet) so I think she will see how saving now would be a good idea. Thanks for all the responses, really interesting to hear what other people give their older DC.

think that I would lower it to £50 a month with the phone etc on top and then save the other £50 a month/buy premium bands in her name. Teaching her the value of money and investing in her future.

The OP saving it for her will teach her DD bugger all about the value of money. The DD needs to physically save that for herself by going to a bank and depositing it and see it grow.

I was living alone at 17/18 whilst doing a BTEC. I received a measly £45 a week in income support to keep me going through college. £6 of that went towards my rent every week and another £6 towards the £1 electric meter in my room. After taking out food, laundrette costs I was left with roughly £10 to cover my course. I missed out on so so much like trips to Alton towers or even having my haircut properly for years. So no, I don't think its too much at all esp as she babysits for you 'on demand'. The £100 a month is essentially covering that.

I would, however, giver her her phone contract to pay herself out of her own cash. Her physically handing that cash over to you from her own hand will do more good than you reducing what she gets and if she doesn't pay it, obviously the phone will be cut off. I know it sounds daft to give her cash then for her give it back to you but it will benefit her long term.

Also, my step father thought that because I was earning money from a paper round and waitressing at 14/15 I didn't need the treats everyone else got. It was a bit of a kick in the teeth to go and earn extra money for the other things I needed and then be told nope sorry, you can't have the things we give your siblings. Two of them were able to earn extra being old enough at 13 and 14 iyswim but didn't. So tread carefully when going down the 'you're earning we're not giving you X' route.

I've 2 teens, one is a saver, one spends money like theres no tomorrow

we're all different, you can teach her how to save but when your 18 theres so much to spend it on.....

I agree with your DH.

We never paid our children for doing chores, ever. It was expected of them because they lived here, stuff needed doing so we all pitched in.

When they were 17/18 they both had p/t jobs. We paid their car insurance, lunches, phones (but were Giff Gaff not expensive contracts) and basic clothes/shoes for school. They bought everything else. We only paid their car insurance because we live really rurally, I'm disabled and DH is in the RAF so we needed them to drive me around. They bought their own cars.

One of the things I do is work backwards with teens. Find out (or have them find out) what the rent is on a one-bedroom, groceries, bills etc. Then work out what they have to earn to pay for all that. Rent should be 1/3 of income (ha ha) so factor that in. Then they can see that;

a) fun money comes last
b) life is very expensive
c) they may be the richest they will ever be in truly disposable cash so save some now!

It sounds quite a lot but it is up to you and your oh to decide what you can afford and are willing to give.

I think it's fine.

Teach her how to budget though.

Is your dh her biological father?

£100 considering she is in FT education, babysits for you, makes children's lunch and does 30 mins house work means you are very lucky indeed!

If you break it down to £25 pw then that is worth it to do chores, babysit her siblings & you get CB for her

It's one thing coming on here and listening to people but they might have a much less income than you do

If you reduce her money by half then I think she shouldn't be expected to do things on your behalf such as the children's lunch & babysitting.

My ds is too young for me to comment with knowledge but my thoughts are that you could give her a total allowance (whatever you feel appropriate) and that is for her to cover and budget for everything including phone, netflix, hair and clothes.

Ok you'd be giving more initially, not overall, but she would not only be budgeting but also seeing the monetary value of all of the extras over and above her disposable income. It may make her more savvy with bargains so that she has more disposable income and more to save. Only you would know if she is sensible enought to manage that.

P.s. my ds is only 4 so feel free to ignore if my suggestion is flawed. He receives "pocket money" to buy a reward (udually his choice is Lush bathbombs) for effort doing chores and good behaviour. chores are tidying toys or dusting I'm not that mean

Our DS (16) gets £30 basic but prob more like £60 all in