AIBU to think my sons consultant shouldnt have tried to give my children money?

[jemima39]

I had an appointment today with my 5 year old sons paediatrician, and took my 2 year old daughter with me, he paid more attention to her, commenting on how cute she was and stroking her hair and then as both kids behaved relatively well he tried to give them some change from his pocket. While I feel his intentions were just be nice and reward them I'm uncomfortable when I'm trying to teach my kids not to accept things from strangers especially my 5 year old as his disability means he has very little sense of danger. He is a middle aged indian chap and I gather giving change to small children is very popular in indian culture after talking to a few people about this but is it the right thing for a Doctor in a hospital to be doing?

I don't think it's wilful naivety AnyFucker - I don't work for the NHS and haven't had NHS safeguarding training. I have had a lot of safeguarding training aimed at people working in education/early years and small gifts including coins have never come up.

I used to get money all the time when I was young (as did my brother) growing up in Wales. It was the norm back then.

I work in early years and in no circumstances would I give money to a child. There is a world of difference between stickers and money. Stickers are a system put in place by the institution, e.g a school via the teacher will give a pupil a sticker for good work, in contrast I would be quite startled if my child came home with a pound from his TA because he got his spellings right.

Oh thank God for you, birds

I thought I had stepped into some weird 1970's Savile-esque universe then

Why are stickers different to a similar value of money?

What the fuck has 'Rochdale' got to do with a Doctor giving 2 children small change??
Get a grip!

And if money is so bad why is it OK for the tooth fairy to give money?

Does anybody understand that if I were to give money to one of my clients I would face disciplinary action ? If I were to do it repeatedly and display no insight into the potential implications of giving money to a minor that I am in a position of authority to I would be struck off from my professional body ?

Or do you think I am lying ?

I would be shocked at a professional doing a job giving my children cash. I would also find it weird and inappropriate.

Stickers at the dentist are fine. Chocolate button from the nurse after immunisation fine. Coins no.

The tooth fairy?? Someone is away with the fairies, that's for sure...

The tooth fairy is money given by parents. Sorry to burst that bubble for you.

It's not about what giving money says to the child, you wilfully naive person. It's about leaving absolutely no doubt about what the motives of giving the money could possibly be. Even if there is no malice a forethought, you just do not do it. Unless you have been teleported from the 1970's.

I don't think you are lying but I would like to know the rationale that says it is OK to give a lollipop or sticker to a child in the presence of their parents but not small change?

I'm not willfully naive thank you but what is the difference in motive between giving a few coins and giving a lollipop?

It's odd and inappropriate. And shows poor judgement. It would make me wonder if he shows poor judgement in his work too. I would probably be asking to see someone different next time.

Health professionals often have a stock of stickers or "I was brave" badges for example.

They have no monetary value. Unlike, erm, money.

I am wasting my time, aren't I ?

But how does having a miniscule monetary value make a difference to the motives of the giver?

I have never known anyone in the medical/nursing profession offer money to a patient.
Stickers, lollys etc are so obviously different. One thing being they are purchased by the employer (hospital in this case) and not this doctors own money.
This is weird and not professional.
Any fucker is right, age and race just don't come into it.

I give up. You wore me down, Amelia. I can't do it any more.

Dh works in the NHS. I asked him if any colleagues gave money to children following an appointment. His response was 'seriously? Who the fuck would do that? ' He viewed it as deeply unprofessional and inappropriate.

Yes the tooth fairy leaves money not enough apparently and a few relatives give them money. Then yes there are stickers at school or from dentists etc.

Absolutely no strangers give my kids gifts of any kind.

They are not always protected by the employers though are they? I'm led to believe that teachers for example often purchase such things themselves so is that then inappropriate?

I will take that as there being no real reason and it is just an arbitrary distinction.

It will be in a professional code that you do not offer money to anyone you see in a professional capacity.
I am with Tilders husband and thought what the fuck.
Come in surely you can see that.

Don't give up AF.
So everyone on here who is saying it's ok, would you be ok with the example I gave of your child coming home from school with 50p from their TA for getting their spellings correct.

Birds it's crazy!

I don't get it either. But I can't find the words to explain why cash is inappropriate whereas a sticker/small sweet is.

I would do spellings for 50p. Each.