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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dp has yet again ruined another item of clothing

53 replies

Standingonmytippytoes · 07/04/2016 20:43

Posting this in a moment of rage so excuse any errors.

So sick of dp and his absolute stupidity he's just ruined his new trainers by spilling heating oil on them. He's ruined other items of clothing usually through painting in them why can't he just throw on something old to do this shit.

Aibu to say I'm not buying you anymore new clothes (or bloody anything because he puts nothing away when he's done with them, looses and breaks everything) from family money until you learn to take care of the things you have.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 07/04/2016 20:46

do you mean DS Confused

TheSolitaryWanderer · 07/04/2016 20:48

He sounds careless, but he is an adult and so can buy his own clothes if you don't.
I'd work on him having a set of old clothes to work in, including footwear, or overalls.

Original poster
Standingonmytippytoes · 07/04/2016 20:53

No I really really don't mean ds.
He does have old clothes it just wouldn't occur to him that he might get dirty or the item we've just spent £20/ £30 might get broken if he leaves it outside all the time or puts boiling water in my new spray mop Hmm

OP posts:
wheresthel1ght · 07/04/2016 21:04

My dp does this too! It's bloody infuriating. I know refuse to wash/iron/buy him clothes. He is learning albeit slowly

Penfold007 · 07/04/2016 21:14

Why are you buying your adult partners clothes?

Pettywoman · 07/04/2016 21:21

DH is always dirty. He's either covered in mud from work and the garden, sawdust from chopping wood or sauce and oil from cooking. Bits of paint and caulk from diy adorn his t shirts. I've given up and genuinely don't care what he looks like. He will never be smart.

paddypants13 · 07/04/2016 21:22

My DH is the same. Everything I had before we married is lost, broken or filthy. I've just given up trying to have anything nice.

No matter how many times he looses things, he cannot seem to understand that if he put them away he's know exactly where they were.

Some Wineand Chocolate for you.

wheresthel1ght · 07/04/2016 21:23

Penfold - because I like shopping and his idea is "whatever is in his size and cheap" from whatever supermarket he stumbles past

AppleSetsSail · 07/04/2016 21:24

Why are you getting upset about him ruining his clothes? Surely you have your own clothing budgets? If you don't, you need to arrange this STAT.

LetMeBakeCake · 07/04/2016 21:32

I had an ex like this he wrecked everything! I moved in with him for a while and you would not believe the amount of my stuff that got wrecked. He just didn't care about things... All his clothes on the floor and stuff just got broken. He had a Porsche that was filthy and full of junk/wrappers. He got so annoyed when I told him he couldn't borrow my fiesta because when he's borrowed it before I got it back full of trash!

I'm very careful and really look after my things - everyone has a threshold and ours was on the opposite spectrum so could never have worked out. I think it's a case of him having to up standards a but and maybe you lower them a bit if that's possible...

Qwebec · 07/04/2016 21:34

Well the he obviously hasa different perspective on clothes than you. Buy accordigly. DP is great with shirts, but new coats and pants fall apart with in months. We talked about it and both agreed to buy what lasts new andwhat does not used. No point in fighting and now no matter how long these items last we are quite happy. (interestingly pants last longuer since we get them second hand).

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2016 21:35

The mop thing would annoy me but if my DH ruined his own clothes or trainers, it wouldn't affect me in any way.

Sunnybitch · 07/04/2016 21:45

Clothing budgets, really?

If I see something I think dp will like I get it for him and he will do the same for me Hmm

chanice · 07/04/2016 21:55

I feel like people don't read OP post's fully
She said should she stop buying it out of the family budget ie he will have to buy it out of his own money if he continues to ruin the clothes.
I'm guessing you don't like waste OP or think that that money could be spend on something else if he didn't ruin the clothes. I would be the same.

Original poster
Standingonmytippytoes · 07/04/2016 21:59

We're not exactly rolling in cash nor do we have clothing budgets Confused
He literally got these trainers on Monday la redoute had a 40 % off sale. That's why I bought them for him I was buying myself something and asked if he wanted anything.
The mop issue actually has a story I'd wanted this mop for a while but couldn't bring myself to pay the £30 it was everywhere else and then I found it in tk maxx for £16 I was over the moon brought it home specifically told dp not to put boiling water in it and when he did and it got wrecked he said "sure it doesn't matter it was cheap anyway"
I've stopped caring about things stopped buying anything because it's pretty just because it's useful.
I want nice things I want to buy things knowing they'll be taken care of. Is that so wrong. cries into cheap ikea throw. I was too scared to buy the nice one I wanted

OP posts:
MTPurse · 07/04/2016 22:00

What is heating oil?

Why are You responsible for buying your dp clothes?

Are you really his Mother?

Why are you so invested in what your dp/son is wearing, is he not old enough to decide himself?

TaraCarter · 07/04/2016 22:04

  1. He needs to listen to your instructions. That is a fair enough gripe to have.

  2. What you are drip-feeding here is that left to himself, he buys cheap and cheerful clothing from the supermarket and he treats all his stuff accordingly. You're the one buying him nice stuff because you like shopping.

So, yes, certainly stop buying him expensive stuff he wouldn't buy in the first place!

TaraCarter · 07/04/2016 22:05

Ignore my point (2), turns out that post wasn't by you.

chanice · 07/04/2016 22:07

What wrong with wives buying their husbands clothes ?
It doesn't mean you're mothering them. Sometime they are busy working and whilst you are out shopping you might as well pick him up some stuff as well.
Then if you had to see the stuff you bought getting ruined it would piss you off, no?

CallMeDollFace · 07/04/2016 22:14

Nothing wrong with buying his clothes, or being annoyed if he doesn't take care of them.

If you manage the family budget then you could allocate a set amount for him and once it's gone, it's gone?

HelenaDove · 07/04/2016 22:47

BakeCake thats awful... he showed a complete lack of respect for your property and for you.

It would be a deal breaker for me.

Pettywoman · 07/04/2016 22:53

I wouldn't care about his shoes but the mop thing would give me the rage.

coconutpie · 07/04/2016 22:54

WTF? So you told him "do not put boiling water in the mop" and he went and did it anyway? Is he that fucking stupid or is he doing it deliberately? I would've been fuming. What a twat. Stop buying him stuff and tell him he will be paying for a brand new mop out of his savings. Is it a vileda 1-2 spray mop? I have one, it's amazing!

Angetrain · 07/04/2016 22:54

It seems to me that if you were to simply stop buying his clothes then you will eventually stop caring about how he maintains them?

daisychain01 · 07/04/2016 23:07

I lost the will to live it DH and his clothes a long time ago. He shits everything up.

Digging slipper - he puts slipper ON to go out in the garden then slips them OFFto come indoors.

Best work clothes - I see him doing the mowing or grubbing around in the garage, wearing brand new trousers we bought last weekend Angry.

OK they're his clothes, but why... just why??

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