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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
Fancymarmite · 07/04/2016 10:04

Are you able to countersign passport photos? I get asked for 'favours' and have to sign paperwork for people's passports and other such applications to say 'I can confirm that this is a true likeness' etc. Clutching at straws!

I'd be extremely annoyed if it was MLM or something completely normal and text-worthy like giving her a lift somewhere.

It's got to be something where she needs you to sign a document or is something particularly upsetting/sensitive otherwise she is being completely U!

rollonthesummer · 07/04/2016 10:05

Has she replied? I'd make sure you're up and gone early for your holiday-we tend to get up and go before 5am to beat the traffic!

nocabbageinmyeye · 07/04/2016 10:06

It's not gong to be Forever Living and the like, she would bursting with false energy and the amazing opportunity she has to offer you not asking for a favour that she can't tell you about over the phone, that's not the way they operate I don't think

storminabuttercup · 07/04/2016 10:14

I think it's to sign something.

Doesn't sound like she needs money.

I hare people who do this. DP did it the other week. Got a text 'need to talk to you about something tonight'
Was about going out with his mates, I have NEVER stopped him going out or complained, when I asked why he didn't just tell me on text it was because he wasn't sure of the dates Confused
Totally weird

cozietoesie · 07/04/2016 10:21

In these circumstances, a 'meet' - especially when you're already pressurised - implies that it's something you would be likely to say No to if you had time to consider it. It would likely be to put pressure on you in person over the cups of coffee.

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 10:28

Eastie77 Maybe she wants you to be a reference person for a job ? I'm struggling to find something boring here

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 10:30

ohhh Ohhh another thought. Eastie77

She thinks her husband fancies you and she wants you to hit on hom to find out if he is 'faithful'
ummm maybe

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 10:30

HIM not hom

boobyooby · 07/04/2016 10:31

Even I'm (place marking) running out of ideas of what it could be ..... had to come back and see if there had been any development yet

TheOddity · 07/04/2016 10:34

This message is to shamelessly place mark wish you luck!

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 10:34

Or..........................Eastie77

She needs to borrow your house while you are on Holidays ?

A romantic meet up ? [Affair?] or

Do You have a sauna Tub ??

KittenOfWoe · 07/04/2016 10:38
rollonthesummer · 07/04/2016 10:40

I'd be tempted to leave Friday night actually Grin.

aginghippy · 07/04/2016 10:46

If it was any of those boring things like countersigning her passport photos or being a reference for a job, why would she be all cloak and dagger about it?

I agree she want to see you in person because she thinks you are likely to say no and wants to talk you round.

BoatyMcBoat · 07/04/2016 10:49

She'll be showing you photos of this bloke - the one Laurie's talking about - so you can see the awful conditions he's living in, and how ill he is/his little sister is/his aged mother is. Or his brother's been put in prison injudiciously, and they have to pay for his defence. Or he's a prince from Nigeria who just needs your bank details......

You are leaving earlier than originally planned and will not be there on Saturday morning/you will be busy packing up the car and will have no time to sit down and pay attention to her. If she can't tell you now, over the phone, then the answer is no.

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 10:49

'being a reference for a job, why would she be all cloak and dagger about it'

^^ she might want OP to Lie about the reference

BoatyMcBoat · 07/04/2016 10:52

Aaargh! Didn't refresh before posting! This tab was up from last night BlushGrin

aginghippy · 07/04/2016 10:53

Ah yes Madd I hadn't thought of that. She wants to meet face to face because she wants to talk you into doing something unethical or illegal.

LizzieMacQueen · 07/04/2016 10:56

Can't be passport counter signature as she's a relative.

It is an odd set up if she doesn't work but lives apart from her working husband. Why don't they live together?

Lovewineandchocs · 07/04/2016 11:03

nocabbage
Forever living etc have all kinds of scripts for pitching to different 'prospects'. A common one is asking someone for a 'favour' which is usually listening to the person practice their sales pitch as they are "really nervous" and "would appreciate the feedback". The hope is that the "prospect" will think it sounds so good that they will want to join it themselves.

Hope it isn't that though OP, it's a PITA Smile

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 11:07

.Eastie77

She wants to run away on holidays with you. She's coming with a suitcase

Fairenuff · 07/04/2016 11:08

Remember OP, whatever it is, don't give her an answer until you have checked with us Grin

Just say, 'I'll think about it and let you know' and then we can help you say no decide.

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 11:10

.Eastie77

her Brother's family just got evicted and she needs somewhere [not her home] for them to Squat ........... errrmm............. 'Stay' for a while and of course yu are going away for a bit O_O

TheMaddHugger · 07/04/2016 11:14

.Eastie77

She's coming to Hug you in person, because she had a premonition you win the Lotto while on holidays

RTKangaMummy · 07/04/2016 11:15

Ok so do you drive?

If it takes her 40 mins by bus, why can't you drive over to her house at a time to suit you (maybe without pre warning her)?

Then the meeting would be at a convenient time to you rather than waiting around for her on Saturday morning