Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if people seem to prefer it when girls are born than boys

146 replies

waterunderthebridge · 03/04/2016 19:40

Just wondering as based on my experiences there seems to be more excitement and enthusiasms for girls. I could be wrong.

OP posts:
iMatter · 03/04/2016 20:05

Two boys here.

Absolutely thrilled each time.

Boys rock. (IMHO)

Primaryteach87 · 03/04/2016 20:06

I have a boy and have noticed this too. It makes me sad.

museumum · 03/04/2016 20:09

Nope. Everyone very pleased for us to have a boy. Perhaps because I have some male-dominated hobbies they assumed I'd want a boy. I didn't have a preference, if I'd had a girl is have encouraged her to be sporty and outdoorsy too.

targaryen · 03/04/2016 20:10

I have to admit like a previous poster I used to be biased towards girls. I had a girl first and was delighted. I used to have to fake excitement when people told me they were having a boy and remember feeling sad for my auntie that she had 2 little boys.

Now that I have a little boy I can see I was totally in the wrong with these feelings and bias.
Boys are truly, truly amazing ! My little boy is a bundle of crazy, imaginative, full of love ! He makes me laugh, broadens my mind and I love him as fiercely as he loves me.
My older girl is awesome too and I love her so so much but I'm so glad I've had my mind awakened to how awesome boys are.

DramaAlpaca · 03/04/2016 20:13

Three boys here & we were absolutely delighted each time.

MadisonAvenue · 03/04/2016 20:13

I have two boys and wouldn't change them for the world, but each time I was pregnant I had people asking if I was hoping for a girl. My sister in law was also pregnant when I was with my oldest and I'll always remember her saying that she thought I was having a boy and then grandly said "...but I'm sure I'm going to have a girl" with a smug smile on her face (she had a boy).

My Mom once told me that when she was pregnant with me she bought lots of things in blue, hoping that she was tempting fate, she'd have a girl and it would all go to waste.

ElectraAzalea · 03/04/2016 20:14

I have both and was equally excited, as were family and friends, both times. Can't understand anyone having preferences, boys and girls are both amazing Smile

polkadotdelight · 03/04/2016 20:15

I remember when I was pregnant that saying I was having a boy used to be a conversation killer! At my 20 week scan I was disappointed not to be having a girl but I can't imagine having a girl now. DS always draws lots of compliments in his cuteness so it really doesn't matter.

StrawberrytallCake · 03/04/2016 20:15

I used to think I wanted girls and I am overjoyed to have two lovely little girls. I cried with happiness at the sex scan for dd2.

However having grown up a bit since having children I've realised that boy or girl - they're all wonderful. I think in my case the reason for the bias is having gone through an abusive relationship with a male and loss of an immediate male family member I felt I could connect better with a girl. It is an obviously ridiculous thought and a reflection of my personality and history not the characteristics of a baby who has no idea what sex they are supposed to be and therefore how they must 'act' (which I also learnt was nonsense).

If sex preferences are based on gender expectations I think there is a problem for both parent (who needs educating) and the child (who may have unrealistic ideals imposed upon them). Girls like dinosaurs too you know!

Helmetbymidnight · 03/04/2016 20:16

All babies are wonderful, aren't they?!

FleeBee · 03/04/2016 20:18

My SIL had 3 boys then a DD there was huge excitement when she was born like nothing I've seen before.
6 years later I had 2 DDs & they've been met with compete indifference ever since. Sad (not from me & DH obvs we like having them)

MadisonAvenue · 03/04/2016 20:21

I actually think I'm more suited to having sons anyway. My oldest and I like the same kind of music so we go to concerts together and then I get to take my youngest to football matches as we support the same team.

LetThereBeCupcakes · 03/04/2016 20:21

My dad and his partner are like this, desperate for a "lovely little girl" in the family. Drives me bloody bonkers. I'm currently pregnant with DC 2 (I already have a DS). I'm pretty sure if I have a girl my son will basically be ignored by my dad's side of the family. We will have to go no contact, I won't have them hurting DS.

Jemappelle · 03/04/2016 20:23

In my country? Girls bring shame the burden of dowry and are often illegally aborted or abandoned to die

ollieplimsoles · 03/04/2016 20:24

My dad ran off when I was six, since then it was just me, my mum and sister. Mil has son's and she's a bitter and twisted woman (not the reason obvs) she also said she 'didnt know what she was doing with girls'

So I was happy I had a dd, but if I had a son I would have been overjoyed too

mmmuffins · 03/04/2016 20:25

I personally have a massive preference for girls. I was very pleased to find out my first was going to be a girl, and I hope all my subsequent children are girls too. Not sure where this desire stems from, but perhaps from having a very female-dominated childhood.

No one else in the family seems to have expressed a preference either way, however.

60sname · 03/04/2016 20:28

People kept saying to me that my DH must be pleased that we were having a boy. DH was pleased we were having a baby. Since he's not some knuckle-dragger who can only relate to his child if it's male.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 03/04/2016 20:28

I wonder if it's a mum thing to want a daughter as you might stay closer to her as an adult and as a maternal grandmother to her children?

CandyFlossBrain · 03/04/2016 20:35

Nope. A woman I know was blatantly displeased when she found out her first child was a girl. Tears of joy when her second was a boy.

lorelei9here · 03/04/2016 20:39

I'm going to admit to being guilty on this one
I am always more pleased to hear of a new girl in the world.
Sorry.

treaclesoda · 03/04/2016 20:40

I had a girl first and it used to piss me right off when people said 'oh, never mind, maybe you'll have a boy next time' and it happened more often than you would think. Then when my son was born some people acted like order was restored. Hmm I'm in rural N Ireland though and I think it's old fashioned here - there are still a lot of people in my area who want a son to carry on the family farm, or take over the family business. Apparently girls are no good for that sort of responsibility.

Within my own family though I don't think there was any great desire for one or the other and dh and I didn't see one as preferable to the other. MIL shows huge favouritism to our son as he is her only male grandchild. I feel sorry for all the girls.

lorelei9here · 03/04/2016 20:40

I don't have kids btw
It's just kids of others!

StitchesInTime · 03/04/2016 20:40

I suppose it depends who you ask.

I remember my mum saying when i was pregnant with DS2 that the baby had to be a girl because she already had lots of grandsons but no granddaughter (although she seemed enthusiastic enough about DS2 when he actually appeared, boy bits and all).

On the other hand, I had some friends and colleagues (who all had at least one girl) going on about how they hoped for my sake I would have a boy, because boys are so much easier and nicer than girls.

And some people who assumed that I must want DC2 to be a girl so that I'd have one of each.

And some people who assumed that I must want DC2 to be a boy so that I'd have two the same who could play well with each other and share clothes and toys.

londonrach · 03/04/2016 20:43

Tbh i havent apart from i know of someone who had two boys and rest of family had had boys and she really researched how to have a girl.....and had a boy. Grin. Her fourth was a girl though so must have worked that time. Cant tell you how celebrated this girls birth was,

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/04/2016 20:43

Each to their own of course.

Only on Mumsnet have I heard of disappointment in the birth of a boy.

In my experience they've been greeted with happiness, as all healthy births should be.