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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dates

76 replies

WastingTime123 · 02/04/2016 15:10

Do you think either of these brides are BU? Angela and Rachel are both engaged. Their finances are cousins, but very close, think more like brothers. They have grown up together and see each other every week.

Angela has been with her DF for nine years and got engaged 18 months ago. One month ago they booked their wedding for June next year.

Rachel got engaged one month ago. She has been with her DF for two and a half years so a lot less time than Angela. A week after getting engaged she and her fiancé booked their wedding for May next year.

Do you think it matters/ is important that Rachel and her fiancé are getting married before Angela and hers, even though Angela and her fiancé have been together for nine years? Honestly, would you be a bit miffed attending Rachel's wedding if you were Angela?

OP posts:
LemonRedwood · 02/04/2016 15:12

Are you Angela?

And no, I don't think I'd be miffed.

Cabrinha · 02/04/2016 15:12

Of course I bloody wouldn't!
And anyone who would be is a cock.
HTH.

FiveSixPickUpSticks · 02/04/2016 15:14

Absolutely not. Why would you?

Waltermittythesequel · 02/04/2016 15:15

There would be absolutely no reason to be 'miffed' about this.

StitchesInTime · 02/04/2016 15:16

I think that if Angela wanted to get married first, she should have got on with organising her wedding a bit sooner. She seems to have waited 17 months after getting engaged to get on with wedding preparations.

If I was Angela, and feeling a bit miffed, I'd be firmly reminding myself about that point.

Unless Rachel's gone and booked the same wedding venue. That would be annoying.

19lottie82 · 02/04/2016 15:16

No, not in the slightest. It wouldn't even cross my mind. Anyone who was not happy about it, would be a total fruitcake / drama queen in my opinion!

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 02/04/2016 15:18

No.

But then again, if I was A or R I would have talked to the other and tried to settle on a double wedding as that could be such an amazing do.

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meGoes · 02/04/2016 15:19

No I don't think it matters, the only possible problem is if a lot of people have to travel long distances twice it coukd be tricky for them.

LindyHemming · 02/04/2016 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleallovertheshop · 02/04/2016 15:22

How ridiculous, of course not. If the former has waited 9 years to get engaged/married she must have been to a fair number of weddings before hers where the couple have been going out for less time.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 02/04/2016 15:23

Which one are you? Wink

ForeverLivingMyArse · 02/04/2016 15:25

No! It's a non issue.

Original poster
WastingTime123 · 02/04/2016 15:26

I'm Rachel!

FWIW Angela hasn't done anything directly to imply she has a problem with this, but other mutual friends have raised it as an issue. www.mumsnet.com/emo/te/9.gif.pagespeed.ce.TUei7x3YMQ.gif

That's why I thought I'd put it to MN to see if anyone actually would be bothered.

OP posts:
BYOSnowman · 02/04/2016 15:29

Wouldn't bother me as I would prefer to have the later wedding! I would hate to have married, been on honeymoon and then a week or so later be at another wedding!

honeyroar · 02/04/2016 15:29

Unless you've got the same church, venue, dress, cars etc, I don't think it's a problem at all. But I've seen similar threads where some people thought it was wrong, so I can see that people will grumble!

BowiesJumper · 02/04/2016 15:30

It's slightly bad manners seeing as a lot of the same people will be attending.
I deliberately picked a date after some close friends had theirs for this reason.
Is there a reason you don't want it a couple of months later?

Birdsgottafly · 02/04/2016 15:33

If it's the same crowd going, then as long as there's a month Inbetween (pay day), then I think it's a none issue, as said by pp.

Is it the same venue? Bridesmaids? That would be the only possible issue, if it was inconvenient for people.

I would imagine that there is more availability in May, than August for everything.

If there are any issues then the DPs should be sorting it out if 'they are like brothers'.

Birthgeek · 02/04/2016 15:33

No miffage would be had here, either.

Birdsgottafly · 02/04/2016 15:34

X post, you've done nothing wrong.

treaclesoda · 02/04/2016 15:35

I don't think it's bad manners at all. You can't plan your life events to conveniently tie in with other people's. You decide to get married, you get married. If the other bride wants to get married before anyone else in the family, then she should have set her wedding for an earlier date.

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 02/04/2016 15:35

Lol no surly after 9 years lots of people have gotten married before them.

Original poster
WastingTime123 · 02/04/2016 15:39

There will be approximately 15 people who will attend both weddings and there is six weeks between them. No crossover in BMs, venue, or any of the suppliers so both will be completely different in different towns. We didn't want a long engagement, this will be just over a year, and in the end we had to go with a specific date because of our venue, it was all that was available, but even so we were looking sooner rather than later if you see what I mean.

As I say Angela hasn't raised any concerns, just other people, and there was a (I thought innocent) Facebook reference from her yesterday that two people flagged to me to say she was annoyed! It could have been interpreted in any number of ways though.

OP posts:
DessertOrDesert · 02/04/2016 15:39

They have already been engaged 18 months, and are going to wait another 14 to get married. I think there will be several people engaged after and married first!
But then we were married 7 months after engagement.

Hassled · 02/04/2016 15:42

The best bet is just to ask her - but on the basis that you will move the date if it's going to be a problem for her. If your respective partners are so close, you'll be seeing a lot of her in the years ahead; if she is hacked off about it, better you sort it now.

Original poster
WastingTime123 · 02/04/2016 15:43

Hassled, do you think she would be justified in asking me move the date because our wedding is six weeks before theirs?

OP posts: