Wedding dates

[WastingTime123]

Do you think either of these brides are BU? Angela and Rachel are both engaged. Their finances are cousins, but very close, think more like brothers. They have grown up together and see each other every week.

Angela has been with her DF for nine years and got engaged 18 months ago. One month ago they booked their wedding for June next year.

Rachel got engaged one month ago. She has been with her DF for two and a half years so a lot less time than Angela. A week after getting engaged she and her fiancé booked their wedding for May next year.

Do you think it matters/ is important that Rachel and her fiancé are getting married before Angela and hers, even though Angela and her fiancé have been together for nine years? Honestly, would you be a bit miffed attending Rachel's wedding if you were Angela?

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

Absolutely no way. People can book to get married as soon as they like after their engagement depending on when they can afford it. Regardless of how long they have been together!

[Hissy]

Genuinely, you're seeing things that aren't there.

You aren't doing anything wrong! Just be happy for each other!

[Sunshine87]

My moh and DH and brother and SIL got married before us and we got engaged before them we weren't in a rush whatsoever and got married 4years later. You go by what's right for you not others.

[carabos]

Two of my cousins (sisters) got married within the same month. Younger one had conventional relationship-engagement-wedding a year or so later scenario, older one met a guy, dated him for a couple /three months or so and announced to her startled family that she was getting married two weeks before her sister. Their parents' first reaction was "Who to?", then "This is going to be expensive". They basically had the same wedding twice - same venue, same people, same speeches , the lot. Everyone thought it was weird except them. Younger sister's marriage fell apart almost immediately, older one's lasted a bit longer but not much. It was bizarre. The girls didn't fall out about it though.

[Tutt]

I lost the paternal side of my family because I dared to get married 7 months before their precious son!

[MrsHathaway]

There's a phase of your life where it feels like you're at weddings every month or so.

Is Rachel a lot younger than Angela?

I think it's absolutely unremarkable if only a quarter of the family is the same, so maybe 1/8 of the invitees, AND it's six weeks apart AND different locations, themes, feels, etc.

I spitefully wonder whether the wedding is a last gasp to save a relationship that's faltering. The people I've known who've needed a big wedding after a long relationship haven't stayed together long afterwards.

[SylviaWrath]

If she was that bothered, maybe she should have got married sometime in the last nine years.

[SylviaWrath]

If she was that bothered, maybe she should have got married sometime in the last nine years.

[KayTee87]

Last year myself, 5 friends and my brother all got married within 6 months of each other. It was brilliant passing each other tips and being excited together, lots of stag and hen dos and generally a good time.
Now a few of us are having babies within a couple of months if each other

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Wouldn't bother me but this happened to 2 friends of mine

One set date for June following year

Few months later another friend got engaged and booked for may

June wasn't thrilled about may

totally different venue - type of wedding - bm etc

Tho quite a few friends attended both

[badg3r]

Did you book the wedding after you knew the date of Angela's?

[sepa]

Me and OH have been together for 10yrs and got engaged 3yrs ago. My sister had her OH have been together 3yrs (I think) and got engaged last year. They are getting married next year. We have no wedding booked. I'm not annoyed to attend before we get married. Some people just get round to it quicker.
I love a good wedding as glad to get pissed on no money. That's all I usually think about

[Frazzled2207]

As long as it's different venues I don't see a major issue.

[JeVoudrais]

Maybe Angela shouldn't have left a big gap between engagement and marriage if she gave so much of a shit about Rachel marrying first.

[VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon]

I don't think this matters at all. May to September is prime wedding season, why shouldn't you book a date within that window? Are you supposed to have a winter wedding just so they don't happen too close to each other? Nonsense.

[treaclesoda]

Two of my siblings got married within a week of each other. It was a total non issue to them or any of our close family, but even years and years later other people seem determined to make snide comments about it or insist that one of them must have been very annoyed by the other. It's weird.

[cornishglos]

No. Ridiculous.

[razmataz]

Is it their ten year anniversary? The comment could be taken as a bit passive aggressive, or it could be totally innocent and she simply hasn't thought about the other way it could be read.

It's slightly tactless of her if she hasn't - knowing you're getting married the same year and calling hers 'wedding of the year' is a touch insensitive even if she doesn't mean anything by it.

The people who've told you she is annoyed - is that based on anything other than this Facebook comment?

You've got two options really, either get your fiancé to speak to hers and clear the air (if they are indeed annoyed) - which is what I would suggest. Or totally ignore it and get on with your life.

I'd do the former simply because they'll be in your life for a long time and I'd rather sort out any bad feeling up front if there is anything,

[BackforGood]

....mind you, I think you are reading more into that FB comment than was written. Just sounds like someone being excited at having finally set the date after 10 years together, to me, not having a go at you at all.

[QOD]

Well ...... this kinda happened to me

Pissed me right off as we had 3 lots of relatives who lived abroad and had businesses to run etc.
Asking them to c9me twice in 6 weeks was not an option.
My wedding, that hadn't physically been booked as was registry office, but was planned, and had been planned for 8 months, was therfore cancelled
that person is about to be married for the 2nd time and I cannot bring myself to be involved or ask questions as I'm clearly still bitter.
I did get married and still. Am

[PinotEgregio]

Meh. That is really not the most aggressive-sounding fb post ever. I wonder about the motives of the people who are telling you Angela is upset.

Angela is going to be your cousin-in-law (???) for probably/hopefully the rest of your life. Be nice to her whenever possible, and silent the rest of the time. People often go a bit funny in the run-up to their weddings, and calm down again after. Treat her with the aim - as far as possible - of having a decent relationship in 2018.

[kickassangel]

There are some people who can interpret anything as a case of one-upmanship. My parents would have been horrified if I'd married before my older sister, and would also think that two family weddings close to each other was 'not quite cricket,' But in separate months with a six week gap would have been OK.

As long as there aren't family members who have to travel long distances and can't manage both, so end up having to choose,it shouldn't be a problem.

As the two cousins are so close, can't they talk to each other?

btw - I once went to two weddings within a month of each other for two best friends, at the same church, same vicar (and same speech). No-one minded at all, it was great to have an excuse to get together with everyone twice in one year.

[specialsubject]

No intelligent adult should give a toss. The wedding of the year thing sends signals that life is going to be nothing but frilly frocks for the next 18 months. I suggest emigration . . .

[BareBearBum]

My DH and I had been together 3 years when we'd got engaged and booked the wedding for the following June. My BIL to be and his new gf of 6 months then got engaged and decided to get married before us.
Didn't bother us a bit, but it was amazing how worked up lots of other people got on our behalf.

[bluespiral]

Angela shouldn't have waited 17 months to set a date. Definitely don't offer to change yours!

I bet her fiancé is the dragging heels type and that's really why she's miffed.