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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why any woman would work as a 'pornstar'....

240 replies

Flashbangandgone · 31/03/2016 21:59

...unless it was the only way
a) to make ends meet and put food on the table and secure a roof over their family's head, or
b) to pay for an expensive drug habit....

Surely it's not just prostitution in private (which is bad enough), but prostitution broadcast to the world! I just can't imagine why anyone would do it as a lifestyle choice?

OP posts:
VoyageOfDad · 01/04/2016 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 01/04/2016 19:29

Oh, that's ok then. Hmm

cleaty · 01/04/2016 19:31

I would have lied in response to a question like that. There is lots of trusted methodology used to get accurate answers, this "research" does not use it.
The making of porn involves the exploitation of women. That is why it is wrong.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 01/04/2016 19:36

Well I was a nude dancer; public schooled, extensive further education, outspoken feminist, never been abused, no drug habit, not the glamorous type or lured by the lifestyle, I just did it for me - and it was my job.

I felt far more "dirty" at the end of my working day when I worked in direct sales.

Lanark2 · 01/04/2016 19:40

I've known several people who have committed suicide in office and technical jobs, plenty of people working in mental health care who have gone on to be sectioned themselves, a full on talking to themselves and screaming breakdown in a policy job, and a quiet non talking suicidal breakdown in academia.

We should totally ban all of those jobs.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 01/04/2016 19:43

Big stars in any area of the public eye are more prone to suicide, surely. No stats to back that up but I don't think anyone would argue.

twirlypoo · 01/04/2016 19:45

anyfucker is right in my situation, I would never have answered that question honestly. I needed to believe what I was saying, that I was fine, because my whole life would have fallen down to have let that chink in my armour in. I was busy earning money, spending money, having fun - all wonderful distractions from feeling hurt and confused, and certainly a wonderful smoke screen to show people you are just fine.

I don't want to talk for everyone, especially not the poster previous saying she is okay with her decision. However I would suggest that those people who genuinely are okay are very much in the minority,

FarrowandBallAche · 01/04/2016 19:50

I don't think you can compare pole dancing to making porn films.

VoyageOfDad · 01/04/2016 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 01/04/2016 19:52

I don't think you can compare pole dancing to making porn films

I'm not sure I think you can either, they're definitely at opposite ends of the spectrum known as the sex industry. But the comparison had already been made. Any there are some relevant similarities.

twirlypoo · 01/04/2016 19:55

Fair enough voyage, then I'll adapt my response to say I wouldn't have answered any of the questions put to me honestly. For the same reason as j mentioned, that to do so would have caused my life to implode.

Vicjane75 · 01/04/2016 20:00

Its so so sad that both men and women think their self worth lies in being a porn star. What happens when they are 60, 70 and 80??? I know it's gonna get 'screamed' at me that it's down tontheir choice and that they may wish to choose to do that but in my opinion it's a smoke screen used to fill feelings of insecurity.

zoomtothespoon · 01/04/2016 20:06

I'm a former webcam model.

I did it for the money. I wasn't desperate but it certainly helped with the credit card.

Many of my friends in RL are former webcam models.. Some of them did it because they enjoyed it.

VoyageOfDad · 01/04/2016 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twirlypoo · 01/04/2016 20:13

voyage because that's missing the point! I would have actively stepped forward to answer the questions because it would have strengthen my case if you like that everything was fine. It was an extra bow in my "I am fine" arrow. It was more validation that I was okay. I was lying to everyone else because I needed to believe they myself!

twirlypoo · 01/04/2016 20:14

Crap, sorry for typos - on phone! I'm not trying to be argumentative by the way, just trying to explain myself :)

letisnowtime · 01/04/2016 20:27

If you have netflix, this documentary: www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi87601177 – answers the OP's query. It's a very sobering watch.

It's called Hot Girls Wanted, and tracks teenagers in America who are recruited via craigslist, attracted to the industry via a free flight to Miami where the state doesn't require those working in the porn industry to use condoms.

The girls start off thinking it's exciting and an easy way to make money, but the documentary uncovers the reality.

VoyageOfDad · 01/04/2016 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HootOnTheBeach · 01/04/2016 20:30

I think they go into it with a positive attitude, I love sex, I can get paid for it. Then they can't get another job because people don't want to hire porn stars. Then they are trapped. Obviously not included women who were forced into it from the get go.

Flashbangandgone · 01/04/2016 20:50

Voyage
Can't you see how absurd your position is!

On one hand you're saying that a survey had shown that pornstars don't come from damaged or abuisve backgrounds, then you question why someone who was damaged would answer the questionnaire in the first place?... So by your argument, only those who hadn't been abused would answer the survey, and somehow the survey proves pornstars haven't come from abusive backgrounds? North Korea could use you to run their elections!

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 01/04/2016 21:02

I don't believe all porn actresses come from abused backgrounds - but then no one has said this.

I wonder why people are desperate to perpetuate the myth that all woman go into porn simply because they lurve sex so much. I suppose it makes wanking off to them much more palatable.

The woman I know who went into it, did so because she found that was having (unhappy) sex with so many people that she thought she might as well get paid for it.

WellErrr · 01/04/2016 21:04

I wonder why people are desperate to perpetuate the myth that all woman go into porn simply because they lurve sex so much. I suppose it makes wanking off to them much more palatable.

You've answered the question there.

Some completely unsurprising responses from the male poster here Hmm

Lanark2 · 01/04/2016 21:05

I think it's strange that people who are the most condemning are not connecting their condemnation with all the negative outcomes.

As the pay seems to be up to £1000 a scene, and more if you are a 'star' plus spin offs, interviews, public appearances, product endorsement etc, and/or publishing rights, then I would suspect the answer is 'because it pays' as well as I'm sure a certain amount of living a life few live, as well as being able in many cases to plan and act out your fantasies without having to falsify relationships or risk damaging someone else's. Many 'stars' made thousands webcamming first, and on a recent UK documentary a girl on adultwork had a high end flat and £90,000 cash in her adultwork account from a year's work. Once it is more lucrative than any if the careers or jobs that would be damaged by your presence in the industry its a no brainer. If you are earning 20,000 a year from. 10 days work, and your other options are cashier work or factory work at $10,000 a year full time, I am sure that has a bearing on the decision.

imip · 01/04/2016 21:08

twirlypoo your experience really resonates with my that of my sister.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 01/04/2016 21:17

It's quite possible to believe all porn is exploitative, but not that all people who are porn stars have been exploited.

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