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Original poster

To wonder why any woman would work as a 'pornstar'....

240 replies

Flashbangandgone · 31/03/2016 21:59

...unless it was the only way
a) to make ends meet and put food on the table and secure a roof over their family's head, or
b) to pay for an expensive drug habit....

Surely it's not just prostitution in private (which is bad enough), but prostitution broadcast to the world! I just can't imagine why anyone would do it as a lifestyle choice?

OP posts:
imip · 01/04/2016 06:50

My dsis would argue that she did this because she loved sex, loved her body, was strong and independant. That this was proof of her feminism.

At her lowest before a suicide attempt 4 years ago, she used to get taken to parties by her 'bosses' and plied with alcohol and whatever drugs she wanted. I don't even want to know what went on. She was sectioned for a short while.

She finds it difficult to cope without a boyfriend, and she's had a string of short-term boyfriends until recently. Her last one has lasted a year. I really hope he's a 'keeper' as she desperately wants to settle down and have kids.

My sister is associated with a popular alternative website. When her photos come up, 100s of guys comment in the most disgusting and creepy way. Lots of creepy memes, emojis of champagne bottles exploding open. Really sick, It's hardly empowering. I don't consider myself to be prudish, I like sex, have had multiple partners, ons etc, but I find this all very degrading.

My sister isn't a 'porn star' as such, she was recently interviewed and described as a nude model and dancer. She web cams, usually girl on girl. I sometimes see the transcripts of text messages ( dunno, must be part of the service), very disrespectful stuff.

Years ago I may have thought using your body to be a stripper would be a strong and powerful thing to do. It's your body, why not make money with it. But seeing the true nature of it has certainly changed my tune. Part of it is that she is actually so insecure about herself and her body.

FarrowandBallAche · 01/04/2016 07:12

Good god monkey you sound like a silly little girl.

There is no glamour and fun in the lorn industry.

AnyFucker · 01/04/2016 07:29

Sex is fun so being a porn star must be fun.

Yeah.

Potatoface2 · 01/04/2016 08:25

i was on holiday a few years ago and (family place) and there was a couple of women who were from a late night tv station (one of the guys at the hotel recognised them)...(for the first few days no one knew)....they walked around in just g strings, bending over showing everyone what they had for breakfast, they acted like they were some famous hollywood a listers, they stuck their noses up at everyone else....not very pleasant at all...they had a couple of children with them, which they ignored or just slapped when their sunbathing was disturbed...they didnt seem pleasant at all....no husbands, boyfriends or partners....i think that women do this sort of occupation for the money and for a warped sense of 'fame'..and cos they havent any other talent or way of earning a salary which involves actually using your brain!

Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 01/04/2016 08:26

Monkey

Saying liking sex as a reason for thinking porn would be an enjoyable 'job', is a bit like saying because cooking and baking means that you'd love working in a dirty greasy caf cooking baked beans on a one ring hob while the customers rudely shouted orders at you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 01/04/2016 08:28

Sorry, 'Because you like cooking etc'

OP posts:
Chchchchange · 01/04/2016 08:29

I'm sure some go into it thinking it will be glamorous, that they will make masses of money and end up in films generally or with a wealthy, adoring partner. Many are coerced or groomed.

I think it used to be easier to pretend to oneself that some women went into it because they enjoyed sex. But have you looked at any porn lately? The quickest glance at something like the homepage of a site like 'you porn' will show you that 99% of the videos there look deeply unpleasant. There's an element of degradation in most of them and often violence too. I think it's terrifying. These women absolutely are used as orifices only. There is a continuous production line of fresh meat. It is absolutely chilling and I dread to think of the toll porn takes on these girls.

Pufflehuff · 01/04/2016 08:41

Many claim to 'just love sex' until they stop working - either through age or deciding to leave the industry - and then they reveal what a dreadful experience it was and they saw no way out once they had begun.

cricketqueen · 01/04/2016 09:02

Wow talk abut being rude. Monkey says she would hypothetically do porn if she had been offered it when she was younger. You all start calling her naive and stupid. And then in the same thread say that low self esteem makes women go into porn. I'm sure you are doing monkeys self esteem good by calling her names.
I'm sure there are many different reasons for doing porn; much the same as there is for any decision made in life. If a women is truly choosing to do it and it makes her happy then surely she should be supported in her decision. Obviously if she is coerced, it makes her depressed then she should be helped and supported in a different way.

fakenamefornow · 01/04/2016 09:09

If a women is truly choosing to do it and it makes her happy then surely she should be supported in her decision.

I'm not sure she should be supported in doing it but I don't think they should get the stick monkey's been getting.

cleaty · 01/04/2016 11:11

People make some terrible decisions. No they should not be supported in these.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/04/2016 11:16

I doubt they they love sex with men they aren't attracted to.

Hmm
PinkPjamas · 01/04/2016 11:16

It pays stupidly well,ridiculous amounts at the higher end.
Some women are in it for untoward reasons some aren't.
As for 'doing it for the money', not many people don't do their job for the money I imagine.

I absolutely could not do it but we're all different.

celeste83 · 01/04/2016 11:20

They mostly get paid good money. I imagine most them have little self respect or even close family members.

whatdoIget · 01/04/2016 11:21

I aasume that people who appear in porn are vulnerable people who quite probably were sexually abused as children. Nothing could possibly make me believe that it's an empowering choice. Having no choice on who you have sex with and having your most private moments put on the Internet for perverts to wank over? Not something that I or anyone I know would want to do. If you watch porn you're paying for people to be raped basically.

BillSykesDog · 01/04/2016 11:29

cleaty I've read your posts before on other subjects and I find some of your viewpoints quite disturbing.

Basically, about this and prostitution, you have a huge moral objection that you dress up as being 'caring' and basically you think that any women who are involved in prostitution or porn should be offered no protection whatsoever and basically be chucked to the wolves because they shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

Nice. You're the Mary Whitehouse of Mumsnet.

Sniv · 01/04/2016 11:45

It's weird how much, much higher the number of women who express an interest in being pornstars is compared to the number who express an interest in being prostitutes.

I was rather struck by the scene in the documentary 'Hot Girls Wanted' where one of the girls (who is 18 or 19 and, IIRC, at that point has been paid to fuck a lot of men on camera including some bdsm films she hated being in) angrily corrects someone who calls her a prostitute. strange dichotomy.

MamaLazarou · 01/04/2016 11:52

All of the wealthiest most famous porn stars have committed suicide

Really? All of them?

Jessesbitch · 01/04/2016 12:04

A lot of documentaries suggested here. How about a book, Girlvert by Oriana Small/Ashley Blue.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 01/04/2016 12:17

Ive spent a bit if time granted years ago before I moved into DA working with women in the sex industry,

A fair amount of them porn actresses some of them were abused woman some of them weren't.

A very good friend of mine was a porn star she's now no longer working in films but is still earning an income from that field, and she's very open about it being a none shameful (for her) way of providing herself with a lifestyle, having said that she was uber known awhile back when it appears that porn was not as violent and as a few posters say it is these days.

She's very well adjusted certainly not dead behind the eyes, she's happy with her life and her lifestyle and quite open about the seedy side of it very realistic.

I know her family as well because we have been friends since we were about 6 they are good nice people who used to really worry about her but fairly quickly realised they didn't really need to, she also has a DH who did the same work as her.

BillSykesDog · 01/04/2016 12:18

I guess it's like anything. If you offer enough money eventually someone will do it.

I can't say I would judge a young woman with low skills and earning potential taking the only way she can see of owning her own home or having some security.

It's sad we live in a world where some women see it as the only option other than a lifetime of minimum wage slavery, insecure housing and poverty. But as long as they do I'm certainly not going to judge them or demand that any support or protection they do have is withdrawn because they shouldn't be doing it.

ClopySow · 01/04/2016 12:23

cleaty that's a massive sweeping statement. In your opinion they're making bad decisions, but that's your opinion on thousands of different women.

ClarenceTheLion · 01/04/2016 12:27

I don't think they all commit suicide, but not many of them hang around for very long. I think the most common career plan in porn is to make as much money as possible in as little time as possible.

Sasha Grey is always held up as an example of a porn star who adores violent sex, but she left the industry at the age of 21. She was and still is very popular among porn fans so it's not the case that there was no more demand for her.

Helmetbymidnight · 01/04/2016 12:30

Is it a commonly held view that women in porn love sex more than women who aren't in porn?

BadDoGooder · 01/04/2016 12:40

This is a very difficult issue, and I have very conflicting views that I will come back and write later, but just as a quick point...

Putting aside porn for a second, I really do object to the assumption that women can't possibly enjoy the "rougher" end of sex, ie BDSM etc.
There is a sort of feel of some posts on threads like these, where people have seen BDSM and instantly think that the woman is coerced/forced/not really enjoying it, I have had these conversations myself!

I'm offended by the idea that I don't know my own mind, or that I am "damaged" in some way, or that DP has "convinced" me to do it, or that the patriarchy has made me like this.
None of those things are true in my case, and or in the cases of the few people I know also involved in a specific "scene"!

I will be back later to add some more thoughts, but DS is hungry! Grin