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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why any woman would work as a 'pornstar'....

240 replies

Flashbangandgone · 31/03/2016 21:59

...unless it was the only way
a) to make ends meet and put food on the table and secure a roof over their family's head, or
b) to pay for an expensive drug habit....

Surely it's not just prostitution in private (which is bad enough), but prostitution broadcast to the world! I just can't imagine why anyone would do it as a lifestyle choice?

OP posts:
cleaty · 01/04/2016 00:25

From lots of research. There has been lots of research about women involved in porn.
The majority of porn is not a good experience for women. Double entry, rough anal sex, very rough oral sex - this is the ordinary face of porn.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:26

Don't be ridiculous. You could also say the only thing stopping me being a brain surgeon is a lack of brains Grin

If I was back in my prime, wanted a job, and it was offered to me then I'd go for it.

cleaty · 01/04/2016 00:27

Then you are incredibly naive monkey.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:28

Why? Because as a woman I wouldn't be able to protect myself?

NotnowNigel · 01/04/2016 00:28

But it's a job Monkey. Surely your dh would like the money too?

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:31

Not really. We don't need the money. I don't work.

Same as I wouldn't like it if he got a job that made him travel.

NotnowNigel · 01/04/2016 00:31

Monkeyfacegrace

I'd happily do a porn movie. I'm a strong independent woman, I love sex, and I love money.

I wouldn't be unfaithful to my husband and he wouldn't like me having sex with other men

Canyouforgiveher · 01/04/2016 00:32

. You could also say the only thing stopping me being a brain surgeon is a lack of brains grin

You are right. I could say that.

derxa · 01/04/2016 00:34

FGS monkey was just being honest.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:34

I meant hypothetically I'd do one.

As a mum of 3 with stretch marks and saggy boobs I don't think anyone would hire me now Grin

If we rewound the clock then I'd have had no problems doing it as a job. Does that satisfy the nit pickers?!

ClopySow · 01/04/2016 00:37

Can you point me in the direction of some cleaty ? This is not a "prove it" thing, i really am genuinely interested.

I find myself thinking "well actually the kind of sex you're saying isn't the kind of sex women enjoy, well quite like that, and i know i'm not alone in enjoying it"

I also realise that enjoying consensual sex with a partner and ending up in a shitty situation because your past took you there are two very different things.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 01/04/2016 00:38

This is a good watch for anyone wondering about the pornstars

It's by far not the worst - the worst I've ever seen is the Vanessa story, in Hardcore. That was eye-opening. Some of it's on You Tube - I'm not linking it.

The thing I noticed for the C4 thing was a) how young the pornstar wannabes were. And b) their reasons for being a pornstar were very much along the lines of 'I wanted "him'" to see I could "be something".

So I'd go with the for validation response of a previous poster. Which is very sad really.

ClopySow · 01/04/2016 00:40

I'm not sure why monkey is getting such a hard time. She's allowed to say she'd do porn without being told she's stupid or niave.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:44

Because I'm just a poor woman who isn't allowed to think that sex is fun and could be a nice little earner

Anyway, I have dishes to wash and shirts to iron so I'd better potter off. I obviously don't belong here. I'm too much of a deviant Wink

Canyouforgiveher · 01/04/2016 00:44

I'm not sure why monkey is getting such a hard time. She's allowed to say she'd do porn without being told she's stupid or niave.

To be honest, anyone who says airily, - oh dh wouldn't like it and I don't need the money and don't work anyway but otherwise I think being a porn star would be a fine career choice because I am a strong independent woman who likes sex and money - is being both naive and, frankly, saying something a bit stupid. Doesn't mean she is stupid but it isn't exactly a viewpoint of startling insight, perception and empathy.

cleaty · 01/04/2016 00:44

She is naive, because I doubt she has any real understanding of what porn involves.

Canyouforgiveher · 01/04/2016 00:45

Because I'm just a poor woman who isn't allowed to think that sex is fun and could be a nice little earner

Well it is your own husband who wont allow you. From my point of view, go right ahead.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/04/2016 00:48

Seriously some people will read a sentence and make up a complete story.

No, you're right. I'm DESPERATE to be a porn star, but my controlling husband just will not allow it, no matter how much I beg.

cleaty · 01/04/2016 00:48

This is just a taste of the reality of the porn industry.

www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?98713-Porn-stars-speak-out-about-the-reality-of-the-porn-industry

FuckOffDavid · 01/04/2016 01:17

I have a friend who was a porn actress. She is the most damaged person I know. When she first got into porn she would tell you it was because she loved sex, but after a while she said she had been badly abused by her family and friends as a child and felt that this was the only option open to her. Some of the stories she could tell about abuse in the industry are unbelievable. I felt so sad when she told me. The things that she was paid to allow happen to her are so upsetting and degrading that I won't post them here.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 01/04/2016 01:40

Loving sex and being a porn star are far from the same thing. The porn industry is governed by money - but the money is mainly made by the producers, not the porn stars - bar a very very few.

I love sex - but the sex I have is by consent with someone I love or fancy -not by someone calling "action" in a film studio. I can't believe the naive concepts of porn by some people here - they don't just film you having joyful sex, you know - they create a story, porn stars are pressurised into painful things,things they wouldn't normally do. They suffer all sorts - anal and vaginal tears,, STIs, the lot.

Then the men and boys watching the porn will pressurise yours and my daughters into doing those things they've watched on porn sites. It's not good.

Canyouforgiveher · 01/04/2016 02:29

Seriously some people will read a sentence and make up a complete story.

and some people will make up a complete story of strong independent women having sex for money because they love sex and love money.

Just like you did - because that was all it was - a story you told yourself or maybe a fantasy having nothing to do with your reality - and that story/fairytale completely dismisses the hard lives and reality of those real women who are actually living the grim reality of your little "ooh if I didn't have dh maybe I'd be a porn star" thing.

Why am I giving you a hard time since you are just a woman indulging in a bit of fantasy. Because you seem spectacularly oblivious to the hard rotten lives some "Porn stars" might actually be living and I always get angry when people who are privileged in society think those who do the crap jobs are doing them because they have all the choices in the world but chose this crap job. No actually. life isn't like that.

swiggityswoogity · 01/04/2016 02:44

Are adults really this naïve?

Ever been to a swingers club? Have you ever been to a BDSM club?

If you had you would know the extreme degrading things women love love love to do for free! Do you not imagine they might do it for cash were it not for the social stigma?

Plenty couples who invite men to gangbang orgies ask for a contribution to the hotel/snacks/booze/std testing

Please have a gander at some home made amateur content, porn hub has a community channel where amateurs upload thr is content, and step outside your prudish uptight slut shaming middle class bubble.

Not all women are or want to be shackled to a boring flabby middle aged man for a brief obligation knee trembler on birthdays. Just because you are disgusted by the sex you have doesn't mean all other women are kidnapped by the Mafia.

Most content is USC compliant and tightly regulated , they defnetley are not trafficked

Canyouforgiveher · 01/04/2016 02:49

Are adults really this naïve?

Really a great question for this thread.

TerrorAustralis · 01/04/2016 03:11

I watched a documentary a few years ago called Love and Sex in the Age of Pornography which was very insightful. The main angle was exploring how ready access to porn was influencing young people and their attitudes and behaviours.

What was very interesting were the interviews with porn stars. One of the male stars talked about how his work affected his own behaviour and the sex he had with his girlfriend. And not in a good way.

People might get into it because they think it's about sex and money, but the money is why they stay. There's a reason why women in porn are paid more than men. They need more incentive.