to drink on holiday with newly teetotal friends?

[cowardlylion99]

Several months ago we booked to go on our summer hols with close friends.

To be clear, DH & I could never be classed as heavy drinkers. Yes, we enjoy 3 or 4 drinks on Friday & Saturday nights. We don't tend to drink midweek unless it's a special occasion or we're on holiday! When on holiday we look forward to a few glasses of the local vino in the evenings. Until recently our friends had similar drinking habits to ours and we were looking forward to a few drinks on holiday. However, since booking the holiday, they have stopped drinking completely.

Must admit I was a bit surprised. I'm certain that if there was some hidden drink problem, health issue etc they would've told us and would know we'd be supportive. They're too old for it to be ttc/pregnancy related either. I did ask my friend why and she just shrugged and said she'd gone off it. Obviously, it's their choice but I do feel a little sad as I did enjoy having a few drinks with them (selfish I know). We've been out for dinner with them a couple of times since they went dry. My friend told us to feel free to go ahead and drink but it was said with a bit of a cat's bum face so we stopped at one as we felt a bit uncomfortable, plus it's not so much fun drinking when half the party are stone cold sober! We still see them regularly but during the day for coffee etc rather than the pub. I guess it's no biggie as we have other people we can go out drinking with, but the holiday......?!?

Would we be U to carry on as we would normally do and have a few drinks in the evenings while away? DH has said there's nfw he's not drinking for the whole of HIS holiday and I see his point but on the other hand I don't want to piss off a good friend. In addition to the cat's bum face, friend has been quite vocal on Facebook about the fact that she doesn't drink and got snippy with a fb friend who didn't realise she was now a non -drinker and tagged her (and others) in a jokey meme about drinking. I've not judged her for not drinking (well not outwardly!), but feel a bit judged myself and I'm hardly a raving alkie!

Oh well, maybe they'll fall off the wagon by summer......

I don't think anyone is painting you as a teetotal hating drinker. I am just puzzled by the whole thing generally but as a non drinker with heavy drinking friends - best mate probably an alcoholic or getting there - I just find it surprising.

I'm sorry to say that people who have questioned my habits have often turned out to be odd. But then again, I am not sure I bound befriend someone who was upset with me not drinking.

People do have stupid ideas. It once came out, in a group, that I am most likely to have a drink alone at home e.g. when I suddenly catch sight of Aperol. The people who didn't know me were alarmed. I live alone so the odd drink alone is bound to happen plus if I feel tired, it's a bonus with my raging insomnia. This doesn't even happen once a month but "drinking alone" stigma is worse than drinking in the park in a group. Weird.

I'm just as relaxed about people taking drugs but it has to be in their home and not mine, due to the legal issues.

cowardlylion I am much like you. I met my DH at work decades ago when drinking after work was the norm. I loosened up, he loosened up, and the rest is history! And we now have the best conversations ever after a few drinks, all the cares and worries of the world slip away - no arguing about the boiler or who's put the bins out. It may sound very wrong to non drinkers but my DH and I bond over drink (especially on holiday)

I used to feel a bit shy when I was younger and I can honestly say .. one drink and I overcame it. Now it's one bottle (only joking... or am I?!)

I think it sounds as if there is more to it tbh, but if they don't wantbto share that with you, then I don't see why you should feel under any obligation not to drink in their company.

I went out with a friend last week - she's been vegetarian since we were kids and had a three bean burrito whilst I tucked into a medium rare steak. Real friends don't give a shit about this kind of thing imo.

BTW OP, I think your mum sounds hilarious, and if I ever come across a catsbum teetotaller I hope I remember that line !

I don't drink OP never have just the way I was raised. But if you don't have a drinking issue and its just something you want to do in the evening with your meal why make a thread about it?

I wouldn't be comfy with it, but if I had decided to go on holiday with a friend like you and I knew you would drink with your meal i'd be fine with it. if I wasn't fine with it I wouldn't go?

Your friends know you do drink correct?,so why sweat it have your drinks. If they don't want to join you they can do something else? If they're not cool with it then the onus is on them to make different holiday plans surely?

I must admit, I don't possess the shy gene, so never used booze for that.

Have not read all replies, but just a thought to add: do you think they are trying for a baby? Or planning to & are just getting healthy for a bit or preparing you for the fact they may be not drinking a)because they are pregnant or b) because they are trying to get pregnant?

There isn't a "recommended weekly amount" for alcohol, there is a recommended maximum weekly amount.
It's not a target.

I'm very live and let live but if you'd actually prefer somebody's company based on whether they have a drink or not then I'd say that the issue is yours, not theirs.

I agree.