Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

It is seen as ok to comment about being fat. I got it in the street a LOT pre diet. I also gave up smoking No one ever called me "you smoking bitch"

On Twitter a few years back a group of MRAS did "fat shaming week" yes thats what they called it. Im still waiting for thin shaming week.

I informed B.E.A.T. the eating disorder charity what was going on They wernt best pleased.

There is no empathy for overweight ppl at all..... what bollocks.

The comments i got in the street were fucking relentless and i will NOT have it minimized.

If this thread is representative of society as a whole we have a lot of issues to tackle.

The amount of excuses being made is astonishing.

Helena you have brought up a completely different issue I think, one that is very important but separate to this. Bullying as a whole needs to be handled better.

It's also interesting to note that those against fat people will engage in shaming, saying it is for the best as it'll make them lose weight - when studies show that this doesn't work. For people who apparently are invested in health they don't do much research into promoting it.

I'm not minimising it, or arguing that some people aren't incredibly rude or personal, and go round insulting people as they see fit. But I'm not talking about strangers in the street. I'm talking about casual conversation. I can't recall any school gate chat where 'God you're fat' 'Your dc looks like it never stops eating' etc was randomly dropped in, and if it was I can't imagine the majority would think it ok. Reverse it about skinny and it is apparently ok. You only need to look at the way fat has become 'curvy' and 'real women' while thin is 'childlike' 'androgynous' 'skeletal' to see that many people empathise with the issue of being overweight.

Or on a different note the snide judging of dc with sn as just naughty/ badly parented. It's not always visible like a weight issue is, and nowhere near as common.

The type of teacher who isn't pro-active in dealing with bullying is more likely to empathise with the issue of being overweight, because they are more likely to have experienced a weight issue themselves, than any of the less common differences dc are bullied for. Not to mention the many teachers who are pro-active in dealing with bullying aren't going to condone it just in the case of overweight kids.

I think it is also that it's the culture if not liking to be told what to do.

Remember thise mums shoving burger through the gates at that school when healthy eating was introduced? ( one of those doomed Jamie Oliver projects?)

People just weren't having it.

It is their human right to be fat , fine by me. But what about the kids? To be honest I think we are powerless here.

Can't make feeding kids junk food a crime, realistically.

I just can't see a solution really.

Kids are obese because their parents are happy for them to be so.

I'm going to go back to the point I mentioned about people seeing 'average' sizes and thus thinking it's okay.

I read a lot online and whenever there's pictures or films with slim women in them there's always the complaint that the presence of these women is fat shaming, not diverse, 'unachievable weight standard'.

What's unachievable about being slim for the majority of individuals? Why have we become so afraid and intimidated by the sight of someone who isn't overweight?

People's insecurity is driving the idea that the average weight is okay and anything that doesn't buy into it is shaming and putting unachievable standards on people. Then comes the emotive 'we dont want our children to have eating disorders' because apparently teaching your children healthy eating habits and promoting fitness is going to lead to anorexia.

People like Marilyn Wann for example who describe themselves as fat activists.

Whilst I completely agree with her that we need a narrative in regards to overweight/obese people not being discriminated against, being judged and bullied, I cannot agree with the constant defending of obesity as a whole.

katenka
Children already are removed for being very obese.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2569922/More-70-morbidly-obese-children-overfed-parents-taken-care.html

There's an awful lot of shouting for people who just want to keep the status quo...

We should keep things exactly as they are!

I agree grays. The one fat child in my school pictures stood out a mile, but would blend right in now, and certainly wouldn't be the biggest.

It shocks me to watch old films and tv, because I think if made now the same size cast would be labeled as unrealistic and anorexic. Penny from dirty dancing was just accepted as having a typical dancers physiche. Natalie Portman in black swan however inspired plenty of too thin backlash. The fat kid (Augustus gloop?) in the original Charlie and the chocolate factory is very telling too.

People also kicked off about Anne Hathaway in Le Mis. For gods sake, she was supposed to be someone living in poverty and starving what did they want?

This picture also tells a tale

Of course it's not child abuse, not unless we are taking about a child being off the chart like 20st or something ridiculous like that. I have three children who are 14, 11 and 5. My 14 year old Ds is 8 stone but he is 5ft 5 (taller than me) he is very active doing tons of sports but is classed as overweight. My 11 year old Dd is 5st bang on and is 5ft (the same height as me) so is average and my youngest Ds is 2st 6lbs and I was recently told (by the school nurse) that he is underweight. I seriously can't win!

I feed my children the same diet just different portions, and as for my eldest son who is classed as overweight I will not take responsibility for that as I know I feed him home cooked food with proper portion sizes and he is active enough. He only started to put weight on when he started high school and he had no choice but to eat crap food every lunch time and when his friends are eating chippy teas, drinking coke and Pepsi (because their parents can't be arsed to feed them a proper meal) outside of school he too joins in despite me protesting. So if anyone dared to accuse me of neglecting him to my face then God help them, that's all I'll say.

My 14 year old Ds is 8 stone but he is 5ft 5 (taller than me) he is very active doing tons of sports but is classed as overweight

How is he being classed as overweight

katenka Children already are removed for being very obese.

I don't get your point. Surely that backs up that it is,in fact, abuse.

I didn't say they should start taking children in to care or they don't.

I don't know but at his school they now do height and weight measurements in year 9 and the letter he brought home said he was in the overweight category.

CharleyQ
My 14 year old Ds is 8 stone but he is 5ft 5 (taller than me) he is very active doing tons of sports but is classed as overweight.

That didn't sound right to me (that someone with your ds's stats would be considered overweight). Putting that info into a bmi calculator for children produces a result in the middle of the healthy range (49th percentile for age).

Well that's what was communicated home via the nurse. I don't go anywhere near bmi charts as I don't think they're an accurate tool but to me my son isn't overweight and certainly doesn't look it.

I'm not sure I have a point.

We already do remove very obese kids. Hasn't stopped us getting to a point where 1/3 of kids are overweight though.

Perhaps calling it abuse in those cases hasn't helped? I'd also suspect that in those cases it's a symptom of something else rather than a straightforward case of over feeding.

Perhaps calling it abuse in those cases hasn't helped? I'd also suspect that in those cases it's a symptom of something else rather than a straightforward case of over feeding

Or maybe it has. Maybe those children are now a healthy weight. Maybe as a last resort, it has worked.

Sorry, I meant it hasn't helped all the other kids getting fat. We haven't cured the problem generally by simply labelling it abuse in those handful of cases.

"Crisps arent filling or meant to be and everyday food. You can choose not to buy them. That's why junk isn't cheaper. It's not filling and you need more

Yes you can choose not to buy this stuff but it can be difficult to resist when walking around a supermarket facing walls of multi packs of crisps and cheap junk piled high on special offer. There is both the temptation to enjoy a treat and and the added lure of the low price offer everywhere you turn.

My point was that supermarkets need to stop promoting this stuff and stop discounting. Perhaps it could be looked at in the in the same way they have stopped advertising this stuff during kids TV.

I disagree that there is lots of fresh food on offer - maybe the occasional things but it is no where near the same scale as the promotion or discounting of junk food.

GraysAnalogy Sat 02-Apr-16 16:24:51
It's also interesting to note that those against fat people will engage in shaming, saying it is for the best as it'll make them lose weight - when studies show that this doesn't work. For people who apparently are invested in health they don't do much research into promoting it.

This.

It's a really big issue. People who are very overweight find it 100 times more difficult to go the swimming or to go running because they are by and large [no pun intended] hugely ashamed of how they look and even more conscious of it when they attempt exercise. It's a vicious cycle.

I was in chronic pain for years with a back issue and when I put on weight (pregnancy related) I stopped seeking help because I was fat shamed by a medical professional. The pain started when I was very active with a normal BMI so my weight wasn't the initial cause.

That's why I think the walking a mile in schools could be really positive so long as it is non-competitive. It's about a culture of being outdoors in all weathers and celebrating moving together. A mile a day isn't going to prevent all obesity but it can make a difference culturally - activity is for all.

I think we should ditch bmi, given it is a population measurement, and even for individuals where it is accurate it's often excused as large build.

Measuring body fat % wouldn't allow all the 'but I'm actually slim because I am big boned' bollocks. (Not saying it's always bollocks but for many it is). And would identify those kidding themselves they are ok because their bmi isn't bad, whilst ignoring the fact they have a small to average frame, little muscle and a high level of fat. And certainly for kids would eliminate all the grey areas of muscle, build, puberty/ development etc

t1mum
That's why I think the walking a mile in schools could be really positive so long as it is non-competitive. It's about a culture of being outdoors in all weathers and celebrating moving together. A mile a day isn't going to prevent all obesity but it can make a difference culturally - activity is for all.

Absolutely. My understanding is that it isn't intended to be competitive - children can choose their pace and walk or run it. It's a manageable amount and doing it frequently is a good way to build up fitness. It's instilling a regular habit and its achievable for all. Compare and contrast to adults whose experience of running at school has put them off for years afterwards. I liked running at school (still do), but I do remember occasional PE lessons requiring students to run for 3 miles, with no warning or build up.

OMG Grays, those comments on that FB picture