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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to bleach my DD's facial hair

133 replies

takethebox · 27/03/2016 19:23

She noticed me doing it today- when she came into the bathroom without knocking (I normally do it just before a shower)

She is very dark haired and has quite noticeable facial hair (top lip) I didn't think we'd cross this bridge until she was at least a teenager Sad She has been teased about this and her dark hair on her eyebrows and legs by some children and I've told her to ignore them (tackled it with the school)

She's very upset as she sees a simple solution- to me she is too young and I worry what damage it would do to her skin etc- whilst feeling like a hypocrite because I do it.

Any advice? She is 9.

OP posts:
mrsjskelton · 28/03/2016 11:44

I don't know about your funding or whether it's allowed at her age but I had IPL treatment which was a permanent solution and very effective. She might have to wait though!

Solo · 28/03/2016 11:54

I too agree with RomCom. I was bullied mercilessly at secondary for my mono brow and Mum wouldn't let me pluck (or even shave my dark hairy legs); she told me she would shave them all off if I did Hmm I did it anyway at about 12 (just at the join in the middle) but then did the side bits that were growing towards my cheek bones and finally I made them thinner and thinner which looked awful and I was bullied at school for that too! But I grew them into a good shape after a few years. It's not having the hair, it's being bullied for it that is the problem and society is to blame for that.
I would probably try the bleach first to see how it actually looks before doing anything else, but I would not shave it and probably wouldn't wax...threading might be better as she is too young for electrolysis and I would also wait until the summer 6 weeks so that it is less noticeable to the other kids on their return to school.

My friend didn't find the NoNo any good at all.

Narp · 28/03/2016 12:16

If she's anything like me, then sooner or later (sooner, in my case) she''l attempt something herself, balls it up and so something that causes her more embarrassment or discomfort (burned myself by applying neat peroxide, attempted to shave legs without shaving soap....)

I agree bleach makes it look worse (wish I'd realised this earlier than my 20s).

For now, I would do facial hair removal cream for her - take all precautions to only leave it on as long as advised

Narp · 28/03/2016 12:17

BTW I was never bullied but i was very hairy and I cared about it. A simple solution would have reduced my angst as a pre-teen/teen

Milzilla · 28/03/2016 12:30

I was bullied mercilessly through school for my 'moustache'...

The effect it's had on my self-esteem is permanent and deep.

I tried bleaching but didn't stop the bullying - exacerbated it. Waxing changed my life and I wish my my mum had taken me to have it done much, much sooner.

I advocate waxing. Simple and reduces the hair growth...

wheresthetea · 28/03/2016 12:56

You could also try the spring-type facial hair remover - I can't remember the name of the brand but it's basically just a long, thin spring which you bend, place against the area, straighten and then twist off. It works like threading or plucking but much quicker as it covers a larger surface area.

Whatever you choose, definitely advise her not to think about shaving it!

GreenLounger · 28/03/2016 12:59

I'd go into a salon; ask for their advice and see if your DD would like to do what they suggest x

SecretsAndStuff21 · 28/03/2016 13:35

I know a lot of posters have said it is an old wives tale that plucking will make the hair grow stronger.
I was told prior to having laser hair removal that plucking is a big no no. It stimulates the blood supply to all surrounding hair follicles.
Some areas ( male pattern facial hair)are more prone to producing courses hair if disturbed.
This is often the case with sufferers of PCOS.

supposeitmightbe · 28/03/2016 13:55

But I've been plucking my mono brow since I was 10 and it's non existent apart from a couple of stray hairs. Also friends who have only waxed are now getting limited regrowth so I find it hard from my personal experience to see it strengthening the hairs.

I can see if you suffer with PCOS it could be different.

No doubt someone will come on with the opposite experience to me!

Tobeemoree · 28/03/2016 15:18

Gawd, thanks for posting this. My DD is 8 almost 9, and has just confessed to shaving her legs in the bath - she's olive skinned with dark hair. I totally understand why she wanted to do it, have told her I'll help make sure she's doing it properly.

She was born with very dark brows, and they really haven't changed. She's not mentioned being self conscious about them so far, I'll keep a keen ear out though. Feeling self conscious about hair is absolutely bloody awful, it ruined a good part of my life.

AnthonyBlanche · 28/03/2016 15:33

I agree with Secrets after many years of plucking and waxing my extra eyebrow hairs and ta he are virtually non existent. I don't believe that plucking in any form makes the hair grow back stronger, in fact I think it eventually kills the root.

MrsSchadenfreude · 28/03/2016 15:36

Facial epilator from Amazon. Cheap, easy and done in the privacy of your own bathroom in minutes.

Girlwhowearsglasses · 28/03/2016 15:56

Spend £2 and get her one of those magic hair removal wands (name?) from Amazon. They do the same as threading but you do it yourself. She can do as and when then...

Netflixandchill · 28/03/2016 16:00

It would be better for her if you remove the hair rather than bleaching that could cause skin issues as she is very young. Maybe even veet would hurt her skin. I would try threading or waxing depending on how big the patch of hair is, it would hurt her but it would be the most natural method available. You may find she tries threading and decides she would rather have the hair than the pain, or it agrees with her and gives her some confidence back. I hope you both manage to work something out and it doesn't affect her confidence too much

madmother1 · 28/03/2016 16:07

Threading is best at a salon or waxing. My now 15 DD used wax strips on herself and tore off the top of her lip!!

Palomb · 28/03/2016 16:53

The springy things are called 'Epi Sticks'. They're brilliant little gadgets. Cheap as chips too!

katkit · 28/03/2016 18:07

I'd let her wax or thread it. I grew up with a moustache, it was horrible.

It's a bit sore but this £1.69 product from eBay changed my life. An epilator for the face.I can rip out my moustache five minutes before going out and no one knows.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/EPISTICK-EPICARE-FACIAL-HAIR-REMOVER-REMOVAL-EPILATOR-SPRING-STICK-THREADING/131735599875?_trksid=p2047675.c100011.m1850&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D36244%26meid%3D2a5dc3a3f96944a69c090474b45be11d%26pid%3D100011%26rk%3D3%26rkt%3D10%26sd%3D180894637119

Tobeemoree · 28/03/2016 20:48

If you're teaching someone to use wax strips, the best way is to make sure the skin is clean (I do a quick wipe with Tea Tree gel), then lightly pat the skin with a small amount of baby powder to stop adhesion to the skin, then stretch the skin, place the strip and rip. Use the cleansing wipe afterwards.

Baby powder really does help, and stops you stripping a layer of skin.

Solo · 30/03/2016 00:01

Katkit does the epistick cause the hair regrowth to be blunt like shaving? And does it reduce growth like long term plucking does with eyebrows? I have a tache and would like to get rid of it.

mammmamia · 30/03/2016 00:25

The epistick is excellent one you get the hang of it. I use between threading sessions.

LifeofI · 30/03/2016 00:28

You can use hair cream, i use to use it at that age as i was hairy as well

Solo · 30/03/2016 02:22

Katkit does the epistick cause the hair regrowth to be blunt like shaving? And does it reduce growth like long term plucking does with eyebrows? I have a tache and would like to get rid of it.

Solo · 30/03/2016 02:26

Ooops! How the...? Oh well. Thanks Mam I've ordered one and will try it out. I don't want to thread or wax and I definitely won't shave!

RubbleBubble00 · 30/03/2016 08:11

I burnt my top lip at 11 with hair removal cream doing a diy job. I told everyone I had burnt my lip on a cup a soup.

BubbleandSqueeeek · 30/03/2016 08:17

What RomCom said with huge bells on. I was that child but I didn't get bullied in primary school. I didn't realise my super hairy legs, arms, bushy brows and tache were a social issue until I reached secondary school, and some more 'enlightened' girls pointed and laughed and called me monkey girl in PE which opened the floodgates for everyone else to pitch in. I first shaved my legs at 12, then waxed brows at 14 and at same age bleached my tache. And I wish I had NEVER shaved my arms Angry

My life revolved around making sure I was hair free and it was fucking ridiculous. Now I don't care. I still have a bit of a tache but so what? I shave my arms once a week because arm hair stubble looks stupid and I can't get it soft again. I haven't shaved my legs for 8 months now, but then I haven't gone out with bare legs during that time either Grin. Will prob shave em next time I wear a dress.

I don't know what the answer is, but I feel 9 is too young to start this game of hair removal. She shouldn't have to worry about this at this age. When my sister in law age 10 started to become concerned about her hairy legs, her mum stopped shaving in solidarity to show it shouldn't be an issue.

I'm glad I have boys. At least if they inherit my hirsute genes, they'll be those revered 14 yo boys who can grow full beards 😂

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