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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to bleach my DD's facial hair

133 replies

takethebox · 27/03/2016 19:23

She noticed me doing it today- when she came into the bathroom without knocking (I normally do it just before a shower)

She is very dark haired and has quite noticeable facial hair (top lip) I didn't think we'd cross this bridge until she was at least a teenager Sad She has been teased about this and her dark hair on her eyebrows and legs by some children and I've told her to ignore them (tackled it with the school)

She's very upset as she sees a simple solution- to me she is too young and I worry what damage it would do to her skin etc- whilst feeling like a hypocrite because I do it.

Any advice? She is 9.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 08:15

I think veet do a facial hair cream not sure what the difference is but you could try that on her

MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 08:15

What s a lumea ?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 28/03/2016 08:17

Bleaching will make it look awful under the sun - I have a colleague who did that it looked like a fur

Threading is definitely the safest option!

TwentyCupsOfTea · 28/03/2016 08:19

Threading!

Palomb · 28/03/2016 08:23

intensively pulsed light MrsJay. It's reduced my shaving from once a day to once a fortnight.

RubbleBubble00 · 28/03/2016 08:29

You can get scream cream to numb the area before waxing

RubbleBubble00 · 28/03/2016 08:33

Scream cream numbs area before waxing

MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 08:33

Wow really sounds great does it hurt

RubbleBubble00 · 28/03/2016 08:33

Whoops

molyholy · 28/03/2016 08:35

Don't thread, it will strengthen the hair folliclesand make the situation worse.

Sorry but I think this is bollocks. Sounds like an old wives tale.

SofiaAmes · 28/03/2016 08:39

laser doesn't work on mustaches. Bleaching or electrolysis are the best options, but I wouldn't do the latter on a 9 year old.

Scarydinosaurs · 28/03/2016 08:40

I'm so sorry you have this worry.

At nine she is old enough to have it removed, please don't feel bad about having to do it.

I would take her to the best salon you can find to do it.

feellikeahugefailure · 28/03/2016 08:41

Don't use the hair removal creams, they have nasty side affects.

Get it threaded.

Peyia · 28/03/2016 08:47

Scream cream - I need this for my bikini when the usual lady isn't available!!

On a serious note a PP made a suggestion of going to the GP to check hormone levels. I'm sure all is fine, some people are just hairy (like myself!) but it's good to be on the safe side as she is still pre pubescent, although I understand some start early.

Shapebandit · 28/03/2016 08:57

I'm very hairy and get my eyebrows chin and top lip threaded every fortnight. I know people who bleach and the hair is still really obvious but just a lighter colour!
Maybe try waxing or hair removal cream first on a child though as the top lip is the most painful part to get threaded!!!

Gatekeeper · 28/03/2016 09:04

what about a NoNo thing?

Orangeanddemons · 28/03/2016 09:12

I've bleached mine for years. It's fine, it doesn't glow in the sun or anything. It just looks....fine. With hair removal cream, I found when it started to grow back, I had a week of lots of little black dots and it looked awful.

Palomb · 28/03/2016 09:16

MrsJay it doesn't hurt at all. And it does work on moustaches Grin

Rebecca2014 · 28/03/2016 09:19

I think its sad you let it get to this point. If I saw my daughter had excess facial hair etc then I would have sorted it straight away, you set her up as a prime target for bullies.

MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 09:52

Really setting her up for bullies don't be ridiculous seriously the girl is 9 what if she was 5. Do we just start waxing bits and bobs the girl has come to her mother with this the mother is looking to fix it we can't pre empt bullying and teasing the girl has some facial hair not exactly a full beard

AnthonyBlanche · 28/03/2016 10:38

MrsJavy the poor girl is already being teased and bullied. Children can be very cruel and do pick on those with any sort of physical difference, whether that is body hair, wonky teeth or being fat.

Problem is easily solved by hair removal of one sort or another.

RomComPhooey · 28/03/2016 10:55

What do you propose as a quick fix for primary age 'fat' children, Anthony, liposuction? (Given the advice is to eat healthily and let the child grow into their weight, rather than dieting.)

OK, there's a school of thought that waxing/threading/whatever is useful, but it also supports a perception that there's an ideal we should be aspiring to and that any difference is a problem. It encourages greater intolerance and feeds into girl's & women's body insecurities. The problem here is the bullying, rather than difference. You don't get MNer telling women in relationships telling women suffering EA to change their behaviour to accommodate their abusers. I'm no Pollyanna, so recognise a 2-pronged approach may be required - tackle the bullying with the school and maybe help the daughter with her dark hair. But, seriously, its come to something when we are conceding that pre-teens aren't OK as they are & need 'fixing' to make them acceptable to their peers. Really fucking depressing, to be honest. What hope do young women have?

Fishface77 · 28/03/2016 10:56

Get it waxed or threaded. There's no timescale on these things. Do it over the long holidays so it's not noticeable at school.

MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 11:04

Yeah I understand the Lg is being bullied and the op is looking for advice on how to deal with it a pp suggested the op should have been waxing or whatever the little girls upper lip already she is 9 the op didn't think she had to be thinking about hair removal just yet.

MrsJayy · 28/03/2016 11:08

Or what Romcomphoey said put it much better than I did.