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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to bleach my DD's facial hair

133 replies

takethebox · 27/03/2016 19:23

She noticed me doing it today- when she came into the bathroom without knocking (I normally do it just before a shower)

She is very dark haired and has quite noticeable facial hair (top lip) I didn't think we'd cross this bridge until she was at least a teenager Sad She has been teased about this and her dark hair on her eyebrows and legs by some children and I've told her to ignore them (tackled it with the school)

She's very upset as she sees a simple solution- to me she is too young and I worry what damage it would do to her skin etc- whilst feeling like a hypocrite because I do it.

Any advice? She is 9.

OP posts:
ClopySow · 27/03/2016 22:45

Why not shave? It doesn't make the hair grow thicker,it just makes the ends blunt.

I shave. It's the best way to get rid of the hair on my top lip without causing spots. I used to tweeze and wax and have scarring on my face from all of the ingrown hairs.

At some point she'll be able to have laser hair removal.

AnthonyBlanche · 27/03/2016 22:58

Shaving is bad becuase she will get stubble. Properly done waxing or threading in a good salon won't give anyone ingrowing hairs and removes the roots so no stubble.

ClopySow · 27/03/2016 23:23

I've had properly done waxing. I get ingrown hairs.

MissWimpyDimple · 27/03/2016 23:53

How about laser? Would that be ok on a younger person? I have the lumea...

Fluffyears · 28/03/2016 00:33

I git teased at school as I had a monobrow and very noticeable facial hair. I worked with a woman who shaved her top lip and it was obvious she did. I used to use hair removing cream but now I epilate and use a good exfoliator to prevent ingrown hairs.

Stars1 · 28/03/2016 00:41

My DD was the same from age 6 and we were referred to an Endocrinologist to make sure she was OK. She had a series of tests done, which thankfully all ok.

The Consultant said waxing was the best thing as it won't damage the skin and cause any pigmentation loss when she is older.

So has been going to the salon with me for the last 3 years to have her eyebrows and lip done. She is now 14 and I initially had to sign a form to agree to terms etc.

Personally I would let her have it done as my DD had s terrible time in primary school, more so by the boys.

Stars1 · 28/03/2016 00:43

Forgot to add, hospital offered laser treatment, which she had about 4 sessions and it was just too painful.

Peyia · 28/03/2016 00:49

I think the OP is in a state of shock at the realisation her facial hair is still noticeable.....or referred to as glo-hairs!!

Please do not bleach or use hair removal cream on your DD's skin - or yours for that matter. Waxing and threading, when done correctly are the best options if you have to remove hair.

I've given up removing facial hair, I grown to love my whiskers. Although I have to stop myself stroking my chins hairs Blush I'm dark skinned so maybe I'm not self conscious because it's not so noticeable but will still pluck occasionally.

On another note, why after childbirth do hairs start growing from the chin and in my mums case (in her 50's) out of the chest. Or is it just my Gruffalo family??

FourFlapjacksPlease · 28/03/2016 00:51

I took my 10 year old to have her upper lip waxed as it was bothering her. She said it was too painful so now we use hair removal cream. I will be paying for her to have it lasered when she is a bit older.

strandedabroad · 28/03/2016 00:59

I was her at school (Southern European, quite fair skin but very dark hair). My mum first took me for a wax aged 13 and she could have done it earlier. It really doesn't hurt if done properly - the top lip is two strips. Once you've got it done professionally a few times you could try it at home - but please test multiple times on a hidden area first. You can get burns from pulling the strips the wrong way. Once my sister was old enough to learn, we were waxing each other's legs/top lip regularly at home. Much cheaper and convenient!

SecretsAndStuff21 · 28/03/2016 01:08

Don't thread, it will strengthen the hair folliclesand make the situation worse.
A couple of minutes with nair or immac is more effective. My Asian neighbours do their kids facial hair with depilatory cream as do I for my upper lip. It's really quite common nowadays.
If you can afford it, have lasor treatment.
Please don't ever thread ,pluck or wax especially during puberty.
The follicles are sensitive to androgens and will produce thicker stronger and more resilient hairs.

mammmamia · 28/03/2016 01:12

Really is that true about threading?
Bleach is a waste of time.
As a young teen I used hair removal cream which worked fine.
Since my 20s I've been threading which is very effective.

Twinwife · 28/03/2016 01:18

Mum took me along with her to have my legs/ face waxes from the age of 10. I remember taking Calpol before I went. I didn't have it done regularly at that age but it helped me feel s little better about myself.

I remember the beauty therapist saying that with regular waxing the hair would thin and go in 10 years... 20 years later I am still a regular of hers ...

PastaLaFeasta · 28/03/2016 01:41

I bleached it as a kid, although it was more like age 12. I think it was pretty good and a gentle method compared to other options. I would give it a try and see if it looks ok, it worked for me but I'm quite pale skinned.

I really really recommend professional laser hair removal, no idea of the age limit but it does hurt a bit, less than waxing, so I'd wait until 12 ish. Do it for yourself too, I faffed with bleach and wax for years and so wish I'd got it lasered sooner. Six sessions and top ups when/if needed would be enough - mine is hormonal so will always grow back, albeit much less and I maintain with a home version by Philips.

Peyia · 28/03/2016 01:46

I'm not a certified cosmotologist so I I shouldn't say what's best. I've never heard that about threading, is it just hormonal areas? So for older women/men it would be more suitable?

My instincts however (and no one needs a qualification) is that bleach on skin is a big no. Removal cream dissolves the hair so much have a chemical that can not be good for skin in the long term.

Just my opinion, do what is comfortable for you daughter. You're her mother so your choice.

novemberchild · 28/03/2016 02:06

My DD had this problem - she inherited very Mediterranean looks. I let her use cream on her arms and legs and facial wax strips. I don't think it's fair to just tell your DD to just ignore teasing, it's not that simple.

MattDillonsPants · 28/03/2016 02:23

Just use Immac or veet sensitive OP. Bleaching just results in white glowing hairs as someone else pointed out. Especially on thick hair.

There's no problem with doing it if you ask me.

MadamDeathstare · 28/03/2016 02:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MattDillonsPants · 28/03/2016 04:27

Laser treatment can scar MadamDeathstare.....and waxing is very painful on sensitive skin. I can't get waxed because I swell up....on a child that young, depilatory cream is by far the gentlest solution.

purplefizz26 · 28/03/2016 06:50

I wouldn't. Never understood bleaching myself, if you're going to put chemicals on your face to tackle unwanted hair, why not use hair removal cream?

Anyway, for someone so young I wouldn't want to irritate their skin with creams, but would offer to take her for professional waxing or threading.

MattDillonsPants · 28/03/2016 07:21

Threading makes them grow back all blunt and waxing is no good for sensitive skin.

Palomb · 28/03/2016 07:51

Threading doesn't make hair grow back blunt. it completely removes the hair from the folicle so when it comes back it's a completely new hair and is tapered at the end. The only thing that causes blunt hairs is shaving.

Did no-one have any thoughts on using a lumea?

Aridane · 28/03/2016 07:53

I would probably first run past your GP - ie to see there is no underlying medical reason for pre-puberty hair growth, and to check the best method of hair removal for a child. (I have no idea if some of the statements above about threading making the hair more resilient are correct or not).

But good on you for addressing this head on and not making her wait until near adulthood or insist she loves the body etc she has been given.

MadauntofA · 28/03/2016 08:07

Years of bleaching here then revelation with waxing. I won't go back but would be interested in lumea too. Anyone know whether they are safe for children - I think my 2 DDs will inherit my hairiness!

Palomb · 28/03/2016 08:11

I've got a lumea and it has changed my life. I would love to be able to use it on dd too but the booklet that comes with it says not for kids. I'd love to know why!

I don't think there's any underlying reason for our hairyness - just my yeti genes.