To hope these parents are Mumsnetters so I can actually say what I think to them

[Northernlurker]

I found your small child in the car park at Waitrose today. I think he was no more than 4, if that. Dh and I saw him as we drove in and when I realised he was alone I leapt out of the car and went to speak to him. The first thing he said was that Mummy had 'gone'. He was scared and bewildered and had clearly made it all of the way out of the shop and around 150 metres across the carpark to your car looking for you.
So what I want to know is why you weren't looking for him? Because I stood talking to him for a good two or three minutes and then I sent dh in to the shop to get an announcement made. When the assistant came out at speed a minute later I thought it was because you had already reported him lost but no, she was just following procedure. I saw you when you 'found' him though you can't really call it that because you clearly hasn't registered he might have wandered. The assistant told you he was found in the carpark and you didn't seem bothered at all.
He is a very sweet child. I could see that from the couple of minutes I had with him. I think he deserves parents who notice when he disappears don't you?

I should have told you what I thought there and then. But I was being terribly British about it and I couldn't really believe what I was seeing tbh.

I really hope you see this and do things differently because he won't always make his way safely across a busy car park and he won't always run in to nice Mumsnetters like me.

If they didn't know he was gone (for which there could be understandable reasons) why the fuck would you expect a 'reaction'? They knew he wasn't in danger, I don't see why they would have to be upset. Embarrassed perhaps. But not theatrically distressed as OP seems to suggest would be appropriate.

Lost my ds at the zoo once, turned around and he had gone so I started to retrace my steps he on the other hand went the other way looking for me. He was found and I managed to catch up with him. It happens very easily. I didn't make a big scene when I found him because I didn't want to make dramatic scene

So people who dont succumb to panic (which is a fucking useless emotion and serves no purpose when a child is missing) after their child has been brought to them safe and well are shit parents?

What a weird response to this thread.

I think he was a very lucky little boy - well done Northern for keeping him safe.

Rude elf - so does that mean you would be entirely emotionless if you lost your small child?

Because yes, I would find that deeply weird.

Fucking hell that descended quickly!

Although the OP was a bit melodramatic perhaps, I tend to agree with the sentiment.

What's the point of posting this unless you wanted a pat on your back? Why didn't you say something to the mother right there if you felt so strongly enough to come and post here after the fact when nothing can be done. Ok so you are a better parent, you confirmed her as being unbothered about her child, now what?

Rude elf - so does that mean you would be entirely emotionless if you lost your small child?

Why would it mean that?

YY usual.
Agree with these threads so blatantly wanting a medal for their concern yet won't do anything at the time.

As other posters have said no matter how much we watch them it only takes a split second for them to vanish but you'd think she would be a little bit bothered about the fact that he managed to get across the carpark

Yes he was safe BUT I would be in a state thinking about the 'what if' let alone the fact he'd got that far....

What "understandable" reason could you have for failing to notice your child was missing?
And the old I thought my dh had him, and he thought I had isn't particularly understandable, although it seems to be a popular explanation . Talk to each other...

Agree usual

Both times my son disappeared my brain fell out through my arse. I was useless in a state of panic. You know what everyone kept saying to me? "Calm down, stay calm" you know what brought him back? Funnily enough it wasnt my panic.

OP I can't believe the reaction you've had so far! Well done for helping to reunite the child with his parents.

If it had been as long as several minutes I for one would have absolutely frantic with worry to have lost my child so I understand the point you're making!

What are the chances that both of the lad's parents are on Mumsnet?

OP is aiming her tirade at the mother I think.

The 'nice mumsnetters' is a bit cloying. Being in MN is not a badge of respectability. Not everyone on MN is guaranteed to be nice or trustworthy.

Glad the boy is safe and yes, sometimes there are dire consequences from losing sight of your child (to state the obvious).

My 2yo disappeared in M&S and it was the most terrifying experience. Security closed all entrances to the store within seconds. My boy was found lying on the floor, in the window, looking up the mannequin's dress, telling everyone within earshot that the lady had a bare bottom

Unless you know exactly what his Mum was thinking and feeling you really don't know - when the flight or fight mechanism kicks in and basically someone is extremely anxious it can be a biological reaction inside that makes you even more alert eg if you suddenly realise your child is missing it is better to keep a calm head, think straight, work out where to look etc etc. Panicking in this situation would do more harm than good. Now I have no idea if this was the case here with this Mum or not but you can't judge based on simply what you observe, that's all.

Well done Northern.
I read it that you were pissed off with the couldn't care less attitude more than the fact the mother lost the child. That would've pissed me off too. I recall a member of staff in Ikea telling me how they were always finding lost children and very often the parents didn't seem to give a shit.

I'd judge parents who didn't seem arsed about the fact that neither of them knew where their 4yo was. In a bloody heartbeat. OP isn't having a pop at the parents of runners, she's having a pop at the way the parents didn't appear to care.

yanbu

people love nothing more than a good flaming on aibu. easily.done from.a keyboard

I was in McDonald's when my 4 year old spotted a little boy about her age in much distress having lost his dad and desperately pulling on the door to the carpark (luckily the door needed pushing and he hadn't realised).
My daughter told me she'd seen his dad take his sister to the toilet while the boy was playing an interactive game( she doesnt miss a trick!) The queue of people were looking at his distress bur no one intervened. I went and spoke to him and took him to find his dad. The dad just grunted at me, didn't say thanks. I think he was probably embarrassed. If the boy had pushed the door the right way or if it was automatic he would have been in the car park.

And the old I thought my dh had him, and he thought I had isn't particularly understandable, although it seems to be a popular explanation confused. Talk to each other...

This happened to me today. I was stood in a queue, DH went off to look at something and DD followed. DH came back without DD said he thought she was with me. Very easily done, even if you a surperior parent (which I obviously am )

Anyway DD was only 'lost' for about 2 seconds, but maybe I should have dropped to my knees weeping when she popped back up so anyone judging watching nearby knew that I gave a shit

FWIW OP you did a good thing, but this thread is just so unbelievably smug and 'look at meee!'

What a pile of smug bollocks.

You found a lost kid and alerted a store member. Just like people all over the world do every day of the year.

Give yourself a Smartie.