To hope these parents are Mumsnetters so I can actually say what I think to them

[Northernlurker]

I found your small child in the car park at Waitrose today. I think he was no more than 4, if that. Dh and I saw him as we drove in and when I realised he was alone I leapt out of the car and went to speak to him. The first thing he said was that Mummy had 'gone'. He was scared and bewildered and had clearly made it all of the way out of the shop and around 150 metres across the carpark to your car looking for you.
So what I want to know is why you weren't looking for him? Because I stood talking to him for a good two or three minutes and then I sent dh in to the shop to get an announcement made. When the assistant came out at speed a minute later I thought it was because you had already reported him lost but no, she was just following procedure. I saw you when you 'found' him though you can't really call it that because you clearly hasn't registered he might have wandered. The assistant told you he was found in the carpark and you didn't seem bothered at all.
He is a very sweet child. I could see that from the couple of minutes I had with him. I think he deserves parents who notice when he disappears don't you?

I should have told you what I thought there and then. But I was being terribly British about it and I couldn't really believe what I was seeing tbh.

I really hope you see this and do things differently because he won't always make his way safely across a busy car park and he won't always run in to nice Mumsnetters like me.

Maybe she was trying to keep calm but what if this was a mother who wasn't bothered that her child had got outside and across a car park?
Either way it's just lucky nothing happened to the little one

And I have three DC and lost them all at some point. I reckon the child Northern found had probably been left in the car

Maybe she was internally freaking out but managing to hold it together so as not to upset her kid?

I agree with this.

You've only seen a snapshot of someone here and I think you're being a tad judgemental. SIt could happen to anybody, literally. Even when you think you're the most vigilant and careful person.

I thought I'd lost my DS in a Morrisons store when he was about 3. He was by my side one second and gone the next, and because I'd turned my head slightly I didn't see him vanish.

It can happen just like that.

Ignore the haters OP, I also think you are right. Whatever anyone posts on MN there are always snidey comments.

SIt should say It

I'm with you if they didn't seem bothered.
how horrible

Totally holier than thou. You don't know these people. You don't know what's going on in their life, maybe one has just been diagnosed with cancer and is in a daze or her mum just died or she's having a miscarriage. We all strive to be good parents but no snap shot can tell you everything.

Stop judging and have some compassion.

I think he deserves parents who notice when he disappears don't you?

Nasty!

How does OP even know the woman was the one who lost the child? It could have bee the father a sibling, a grandparent, a nanny. Maybe the mum was oblivious because she had left him in the care of someone else!

If she truly was unworried and unapologetic then I agree, she's lucky you were there and might not be so lucky next time. If she was actually freaking out inside and hiding it well then I would expect there not to be a next time, she'll put the kid on reins / keep hold of his hand / do anything to avoid that horrible experience again.

I've got compassion - for the kid who was alone. I had compassion for the parents right up to the point I saw them. I didnt take him in straight away because tbh I couldn't believe there wasn't a parent somewhere in the car park who would pop up. But there wasn't.

I don't think this was a child who had run from parents btw. This was a child who had gone back to the car thinking that was where they would be and when they weren't he didn't know what to do.

I think it would be fairly easy for parents to go to different parts of the supermarket. Child is going with Mum but at the last minute decides to go with Dad but then a second later can't see Mum because he didn't realise he was following and turned a corner and he lost her. Mum thinks child's with Dad, Dad thinks child's with Mum, neither realises child is lost.

And when they did find out he was lost it was because they were told he was with staff. So perfectly safe. Why on earth would you expect blind panic or visible histrionics when they knew he was safe?

Honestly, just pull yourself together OP. It's not like they were necking vodka in the booze aisle or shagging over one of the freezers. They'd just lost track of him.

Oh for heaven's sake. Do some people not think that yes, some parents are pretty shit? We lost my niece at the Olympic Park, damn right everyone knew we were looking for her.

Sorry, but it's the 'it's none of your business, how dare you judge' brigade that result in some children being seriously neglected. Shame on you.

I spot lost children quite often. There is that frozen rabbit-in-the-headlights look lost children have that makes me see them even out of the corner of my eye. I usually say "Oh dear are you lost?" and suggest I wait with them because Mummy will be along in a minute. I then wait about a metre away so I can't be accused of anything, wittering on to attempt to put them at their ease, and scan the crowds. Usually a frantic mother panicking hoves into view and they are reunited very quickly. A couple of times a mother has ambled up and just said "come on" without even noticing me (because I am deliberately not standing too close) and I have also seen real irritation directed at the child. I have been nonplussed at the fact that the child has been separated for long enough to show real distress (I am not the most observant of people and I picked it up) yet the parent doesn't seem bothered at all.

So YANBU.

(btw I only say Mother because it always has been in all my lost kids situations)

And I am talking about parents plural btw. Not just one and I didn't assume mum had lost him. Mum was the only parent he mentioned but dad was there too which is why this is about parents plural.

I bloody hate threads like this "dear mother i saw out today". What's the point? Well done on being a brilliant human being OP. You know that the mother isn't going to read this, it's a bizarre stealth boast

I can't believe the ignorance on this thread. And to the people who misunderstood the op (re being a mumsnetter) - reread the op again

OP YANBU

I agree with you op, even if she hadn't realized he had wandered off, when she finally did realize there would have been some sort of "what if" reaction. Well done.

Is stopping to enquire about a clearly lost small child a subject for a stealth boast now? What would you have done? Left him in the car park and breezed on with my shopping?

Robot just because people don't agree with the op doesn't make them ignorant. I commented on the mumsnetter comment as it is a fucking stupid thing to say 'nice mumsnetter' instead of just person.

I would not have posted on MN about it.

No northern, I would have waited with him and let the shop know I had found him. I just wouldn't have started the judgey thread.

How on earth would she know the parents won't read it? It's hardly as if mumsnet is a secret little corner of the Internet for a select few, isn't it the UK's biggest parenting site? It's not guaranteed they'd read it of course but OP didn't say it was, she specifically said she was hoping they would.

I'm with you OP. Mine have escaped from me a few times (it happens - nothing to judge about) and I was instantly frantic, and would not have been able to keep calm for anything!

I wouldn't have posted on mumsnet about it in such a patronising way

OP you are spot on and thank god you spotted him.

You were actually there, you saw the parents lack of reaction firsthand. Nobody's allowed to judge anything any more? Not even oblivious parenting? fuck that.

Whooaahhh! Too harsh on NorthernLurker she is right!

She said the parents were unbothered and thank god you found him Northern
for the unnecessarily harsh response on here.

I find it staggering that people are having a go at you. Poor little boy.

for you lovely lady.