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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

459 replies

Earworm · 25/03/2016 16:09

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

OP posts:
coffeeisnectar · 28/03/2016 12:34

Excellent weekends work!

So basically he's got no sofas, no kitchen and no bed?

No food, no light bulbs and no loo rolls?

He's left with a chair and a telly and a mattress?

Hahahahahaha!!

Waltermittythesequel · 28/03/2016 12:36

Don't bloody text him!

If his family have nothing to sit on that's his doing, not yours.

Block his number. Block his email. Block him on social media.

Seriously. You'll feel better for it.

icanteven · 28/03/2016 12:37

"I took everything I had paid for. Can you please make arrangements to pay me the £1500 you owe me by the 15th of April and pay it into this account: xxxxxxxx, xx-xx-xx."

Lordamighty · 28/03/2016 12:38

What about the £1500 he owes?

Arfarfanarf · 28/03/2016 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CakeNinja · 28/03/2016 12:39

I would either text him with "I took everything I bought/paid for." Or not at all.

And would mentally have written off the money aswell. It's not enough of a sum for me to want to have to remain in contact with such a drainer.

OurBlanche · 28/03/2016 12:41

Yeah, you could write off the money... but he doesn't have to know that - yet!

Waltermittythesequel · 28/03/2016 12:43

Oh of course the money.

In which case I would text back

"My things, which I bought. How will you be repaying the £1500?"

AlisonWunderland · 28/03/2016 12:43

"I took back my self respect"

LindyHemming · 28/03/2016 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peyia · 28/03/2016 12:50

You left the clubcard on the keys!! Don't be giving him your points Grin

DisappointedOne · 28/03/2016 12:55

No such thing in England.

Or, indeed, the other bits of the UK.

littleleftie · 28/03/2016 12:55

"I only took the things I paid for. I would like you to repay the £1500 you owe me by 5 x monthly instalments of £300."

LindyHemming · 28/03/2016 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arkhamasylum · 28/03/2016 12:58

'Ive left your stuff. I've taken my stuff. I have no obligation to continue to furnish your flat. Please advise how you intend to repay the £1500 you owe me'.

He seems to be using the funeral to emotionally blackmail you. You're well rid, OP.

AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife · 28/03/2016 13:18

I like Arhamasylum's response best. It's to the point but doesn't let up on the fact that he still owes you money and you still intend on being paid back.

Well done OP on taking your stuff. As PPs said, please make sure you cancel any joint credit/debit cards or bank accounts that you may have had with him.

Wine here's to a happy future in your new, lovely furnished flat. Easter Grin

AyeAmarok · 28/03/2016 13:20

He seems to be using the funeral to emotionally blackmail you. You're well rid, OP.

This.

And let's not forget where he is this weekend.

Arse.

Burgerbobismydad · 28/03/2016 13:39

Well done OP Wine

BitchyComment · 28/03/2016 13:43

He seems to be using the funeral to emotionally blackmail you

How do people come up with that conclusion? Did I miss something?

Arfarfanarf · 28/03/2016 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starry0ne · 28/03/2016 13:56

Well done Op...I would also add change the address on your club card..You never know he may well be adding on some points for you.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/03/2016 14:01

Excellent update.

I wouldn't text him at all, delete and block the twat's number and forget about him.

I don't think you'll get back your £1500 so fuck him off out of your head now.

Arkhamasylum · 28/03/2016 14:04

Bitchy, it's the implication that if the OP takes her furniture, she will be inconveniencing a grieving family. There's no need to keep mentioning the funeral for any other reason.

BitchyComment · 28/03/2016 14:12

However much of a twant he is it's not unreasonable to ask what she has taken. I didn't see that he keeps mentioning the funeral. Confused Even if he does keep mentioning it I don't think you can assume it's for any other reason that its genuinely important to him. He hasn't made it up.

I'm all for calling a twant a twant but I don't think you need to get too creative with your reasoning.

Arkhamasylum · 28/03/2016 14:22

Oh, I could be wrong! I accept that. We don't him after all, beyond what the OP has told us. He seems fairly manipulative, though, so I don't think the reasoning was that creative.