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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

459 replies

Earworm · 25/03/2016 16:09

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

OP posts:
Evergreen17 · 27/03/2016 18:50

I let* him keep

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 27/03/2016 18:55

How did it go today?

storminabuttercup · 27/03/2016 19:07

Just caught up with this thread! You lot are awesome! Hope OP has taken everything that is hers. I left an abusive and cheating ex over ten years ago, it took me 6 months to get what was mine back and then when I got all the stuff he had broken loads, I wish I had been on here then.

notapizzaeater · 27/03/2016 19:14

Hope you managed to get everything out you wanted ... He sounds like a knob !

2016ismyyear · 27/03/2016 19:22

Hope you've got everything that you paid for out of the flat.

IPokeBadgers · 27/03/2016 19:57

OP....hope you got your stuff. Sorry you are going through this and well done for staying on the moral high ground! :-P

dilys4trevor · 27/03/2016 20:17

I love you OP. No 'how could he do this to me?' Just 'tempted to piss in his iron.' I wish half of us had your chutzpah in these situation.

How did it go? X

artisanroast · 27/03/2016 20:24

Take it all. He's a dick.

CockacidalManiac · 27/03/2016 20:25

Place marking

horseygeorgie · 27/03/2016 20:34

Hope you took the lot. Cheating twat. I left my cheating 'D'H and just got out of there, I left so much stuff that I really regret leaving.

40somethingwonderful · 27/03/2016 20:45

Hope it went well.

CakeNinja · 27/03/2016 21:41

Please send him a glitter bomb in the post? It's all anonymous but I'll send it if you'd prefer Grin

YouTheCat · 27/03/2016 21:46

Oh yes, a glitterbomb but make sure you take the hoover first. Grin

iwantanewcar · 27/03/2016 22:18

Glitterbomb? Can that be disguised as a child's craft activity?

Fishface77 · 27/03/2016 22:55

I think OP had been arrested for criminal damage.

CakeNinja · 27/03/2016 23:05

Absolutely iwant, but you don't want to start it up at your house Easter Shock

DaftLemon · 27/03/2016 23:17

Have you got your stuff?

YANBU - take everything that you have paid for!!

EverySongbirdSays · 27/03/2016 23:21

Brew Biscuit - openly placemarking

BitOutOfPractice · 27/03/2016 23:52

Aww op. Let us know how you got on

Msqueen33 · 28/03/2016 00:08

I'd take it no bother. And I'd take more to cover the money he owes which he's unlikely to ever pay back. Why should him and his new girlfriend sit on a nice sofa that you are paying for?! I'd also take the microwave so he can't hear anything up. Oh and definitely the spoons and forks. He sounds vile and lazy and thank god you've gotten out now.

SpaceDinosaur · 28/03/2016 00:10

GrinWine

EveryoneElsie · 28/03/2016 00:46

Hope you'r busy moving all your stuff OP, and dont forget to leave the place really clean.

A toothbrush is the only thing that will properly clean the toilet bowl IMO.

chilledwarmth · 28/03/2016 00:59

I don't know about what laws you guys have about this but I would think you're fine to take items that you paid for, because legally you paid for it, they are yours. I'd suggest you only take the stuff you can prove you bought though. Even if you know you bought something if you can't actually prove you bought it, don't take it. He could just say he bought it and you might be in trouble for stealing.

chilledwarmth · 28/03/2016 01:02

Msqueen, I have to disagree with what you said about taking more to cover what he owes her. Unless it was a formal loan with paperwork, then it's unlikely she can ever prove he owes her money, he can just say it was a gift with no requirement to pay it back. And if she's taken some of his property to cover that money she thinks he owes her but can't actually prove, it could open up a legal can of worms. I'd say cut your losses, take only what you bought and can prove you bought. Let him have the rest, write off any money you loaned him, and start afresh.

Peyia · 28/03/2016 01:30

I always arrive at the party late! This thread has had me in stitches.

It's a mixture of back to back Judge Judy and the woman's equivalent of Eddy Murphy's 'Half' comedy sketch from Raw.

You done the right thing Earworm, keep your dignity and take what is rightfully yours. But damn there were some good idea's for revenge - I particularly like the subtle PITA tampering.

He sounds like a waste of space and you are well rid.