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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

459 replies

Earworm · 25/03/2016 16:09

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 26/03/2016 11:12

Yay glad to hear it OP you have your head screwed on right (though I still think my fish paste suggestion is genius!)

Marmite75 · 26/03/2016 11:19

Good Luck OP!
This thread has had me giggling out loud while I wait for my car to be serviced. Seriously some good ideas should I ever need them!

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 26/03/2016 11:25

Good work OP. I think head held high is the way to go although I'm just a teeny tiny little bit sad that you're not going to try the foamy toilet thing. I saw it a couple of times in my heady student days, it was like the magic porridge pot Grin With the added advantage of producing a sparklingly clean bathroom.

littleleftie · 26/03/2016 11:31

Excellent!

I also think you should "tidy" his passport somewhere he will never find it. Tidying is definitely not an offence Grin

Can you block his number after you have finished?

Waltermittythesequel · 26/03/2016 11:35

Well done!

The high road is the best road but the micropenis stamp is inspired! Grin

Can I just ask you to think about a PP's idea of superglueing the remote controls shut? That will give you a sense of fuck you without being too malicious and it'll take him ages to notice so he could never pin it on you!!!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 26/03/2016 11:40

Do take the batteries out of anything if you bought them.

Any shared boxsets take your half. I suggest the second half of a series.

CatThiefKeith · 26/03/2016 11:57

Did you know that if you empty powdered milk onto someones mattress, than put a fited sheet over the top, when they sweat the powdered milk gets absorbed into their pores and makes them smell like sour milk?

nicenewdusters · 26/03/2016 12:00

As a bit of a reverse you could leave him something(s) that he bought you.

Obviously nothing valuable, but something special he gave you, when he wasn't being a complete dickhead and you thought you could trust him. This has a real "up yours" effect, as it shows him you won't be mooning over a little box of memories to do with him. Quite the opposite, he's history, and his OW will have to wonder about it's significance if she sees it.

Didactylos · 26/03/2016 13:34

Micropenis stamp
op, you are a genius!

LottieDoubtie · 26/03/2016 13:41

Well done OP- good luck getting all your stuff, to take it ALL down to the last shred of loo roll in the house.

And report back how satisfying it was Grin

YouTheCat · 26/03/2016 13:53

Can you leave a nice pressie in the loo and not flush? Or would that be too minging? Grin

LottieDoubtie · 26/03/2016 14:29

Minging and remarkably difficult to time I'd guess cat [grin}

Melbournemel · 26/03/2016 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 26/03/2016 15:31

ahhh, you discussed taking your stuff... so there's nothing to worry about!

I'd def superglue the buttons of the remotes though...like they do on Top Gear with the car radio buttons.

Good luck to you!!

Ceic · 26/03/2016 15:55

Good luck wth the removals!

Remember to go through every cupboard, room and corner like a locust or a termite colony! Make sure you take everything you want. Once he realises how much you've taken, he might not let you have a second chance to get more.

AcrossthePond55 · 26/03/2016 15:58

You guys scare me! But I'm rapidly scribbling notes just in case someone I know ever gets tired of her abusive 'd'H and decides to get the hell out of Dodge!

Probably too late, but I'd go scour the garbage dump for two discarded cabinets and leave those instead of two nice ones! You know, 'like for like'?

helennotsomadnow · 26/03/2016 17:32

take the lot and don't look back

LovelyBranches · 26/03/2016 17:42

Leave all tinned food but rip the labels off first. It's not really malicious but boy is it annoying

YouTheCat · 26/03/2016 17:59

Switch the freezer off?

Ememem84 · 26/03/2016 18:39

No dont switch it off. Leave the door open a teeny bit. Turning it off will show malicious intent....

NeedSomePeaceAndQuite · 26/03/2016 18:49

I hope the Op has cleared the place

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 26/03/2016 19:05

Don't rip the labels off - switch them round

sportinguista · 27/03/2016 09:52

Kippers down back of fridge, it kind of heats it up gradually and is concealed. A disgruntled temp did this at our work when she left. Took ages to find and we couldn't work out what funny smell was.

Olbas oil on loo roll. Brings new meaning to ring of fire. And just fill in loads of coupons and offers online for as much junk mail as possible - choose embarassing stuff like about dentures or pile cream or something.

I did the junk mail one to an ex. Spent a lovely evening with a friend filling in coupons from magazines - oh we did laugh! And it's the gift that keeps on giving as it just keeps on coming!

Buzzardbird · 27/03/2016 10:10

Micropenis stamped all over the bedroom ceiling might have a very desirable affect on him in the bedroom department with his new girlfriend Grin

Evergreen17 · 27/03/2016 18:49

Take everything!
I had a similar situation. Very similar. And, because I am good I left him keep the furniture and even bedsheets because his "dad" was coming to stay.
It turned out that it was his affair staying. I went back and took everything. Never regretted it.