to still be offended by this teacher?

[danieladarling]

Our children are half Brazilian and half Jamaican. My youngest DS2 is VERY fair but has light brown afro hair (not a big afro), a dusky tone to his skin and greeny blue eyes. He had a parent's evening last Thursday and my DH got there first. I was dropping off our older son at rugby and was a little bit late. When my DH arrived, he sat down at a chair with a sign that had our son's name on it. You know the typical parent's evening setup. After about a minute of sitting, one of the teachers came up and said to him "Hi, I think you're in the wrong chair. This is for 's parents. Maybe you should sit at your child's table instead." My DH then replied, "No, I am s dad". She laughed and said, "No, seriously you should probably move. When his parents come, they'll want to sit there". Again he explained that he was DS2's dad. She then walked away from him and came back with the headteacher! They both asked him to move away from the table and exit the school! [shocked] So he did. We arrived at the school (Me and DS2) and he was standing by the gates looking a bit upset. I asked him what he was doing there and we went inside. We then sat down at the table and began to listen to teachers talk about DS2. I wanted to give those women a piece of my mind but DS2 and my DH begged me not to. [embarrassed]I can tell that my DH is still upset about it. I'm thinking of lodging a complaint but I need my trusty mumsnetters to tell me whether I'm being a drama queen!
I'm the Brazilian parent, he's the Jamaican, if that wasn't clear.

[upthegardenpath]

Agree it would be best to ask MNHQ to edit out your Ds's names.
Beautiful names, by the way

[MrsTerryPratchett]

OP, I've reported because you named the children. Please let MN know if you are happy to have the names stand or want them anonymised.

[SauvignonBlanche]

I can't believe they didn't apologise.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Oh and the teacher needs reporting as well.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

OMG - that is awful, I would have been fuming.

[danieladarling]

Are you sure the names would need editing? I wouldn't mind overly but if you guys think it's a real problem then I will get MNHQ to change.

[JammyGeorge]

That is an absolute disgrace, you are right to be fuming about this.

I'm not one for complaining but I'd have some serious words - I also think it's appropriate for you to complain on behalf of your DH, the poor guy! Imagine being frog marched out. Atrocious.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I'd complain to everyone there is to complain to and might seriously consider contacting the press.

That is outrageous behaviour. Truly.

And yes op, I'd have your son's names edited out. Report the posts mentioning them and ask MNHQ to edit them out for you.

[Jade1212]

I would definitely complain, that's disgraceful!

[danieladarling]

Ok guys, will get on that!

[MrsKCastle]

Ridiculous. My experience is much like clam's in that I often find myself talking to people I don't recognise. Usually with a parent that I do recognise, but I would never question a parent/carer's right to be there. In this teacher's situation, I would perhaps have asked who the parent was waiting for, or if I could help them, but as soon as they said 'I'm x's dad' I would accept that.

[BertrandRussell]

Sorry- why did his dad leave the building?

[rollonthesummer]

I'm not getting this. Your DH is asked to leave the school by the teacher as they don't believe he was the parent of your DS.

You then arrive and you all (you, DH and DS) sit down with the same teacher but nothing is said?

It's rather bizarre!

[HackerFucker22]

That is quite an uncommon name so very careful you are identified OP (of you don't wish to be)

Has dad never been to the school before?

[Vixyboo]

I actually think the worst part of this is not the assumption that he was not Z's dad but the lack of listening when that was explained. It is one thing to make a mistake and think he wasn't Z's dad but he spoke up and explained he was! If I had been the teacher at that point I would have been embarassed and apologised but instead they have basically said your other half is a liar!! That is shocking! Speak up because you coulr be making a good point for all other mixed race kids at the school. Speak up before someone else is treated like this! I once made the mistake of assuming a black kid I was working with would have black parents. When a white woman turned up and the girl told me it was her mum I asked where? She laughed at me and said loudly 'The white woman!' I was only 19 and I have never assumed again! I also apologised!

[BertrandRussell]

But why did he go?

[Solobo]

Sounds terrible

How old is his brother? Could they think he is his dad (this happened to my friend with her daughter who was in early 20s)

[Footle]

Are you in the UK ? This is astonishing, in a bad way.

[Oakmaiden]

Bizarre really is the word.

I have to be honest, my gut feeling is that this didn't happen. It is just TOO unbelievable. I can't for the life of me think why a teacher would do or say that, far less why a headteacher would go along with it.

But on the basis that truth sometimes is stranger than fiction - I think you need to make it clear to the school how very rude they were.

[SouthWestmom]

I'm not understanding how your Dh went back in after being chucked out without explaining. Surely you went back to the same chairs? Why wouldn't you say something?

[Mistigri]

OP - Whether you edit names is entirely up to you. I use real names in some places on-line, but MN is a very public space and you may be quite recognisable.

Totally horrified by your story. My best friend's children probably look a lot like yours (black british dad, blonde German mum) - the kids both have honey coloured afro hair and light skin that tans easily. I'm trying to imagine our local secondary school booting my friend out of parents' evening because he's black. I simply can't imagine it. It's utterly shocking and I hope you make a formal complaint!

[danieladarling]

Okay, I've reported and asked for names to be changed guys!
Bertrand they asked for my DH to leave the building because they thought he was being weird and coming in to a kids parents evening. Well that's what I've assumed!
roll it was a different teacher and we never actually saw that particular teacher again. She only takes DS2 for reading occasionally.
Hacker No, we've only put DS2 into this school recently.

[Primaryteach87]

Awful! This can't be an unusual situation for children to have a different skin tone to their parent (mixed race or adoptive or just fluke of genetics) they should never have made your DH move...did they think he was lying?! Crazy.