to still be offended by this teacher?

[danieladarling]

Our children are half Brazilian and half Jamaican. My youngest DS2 is VERY fair but has light brown afro hair (not a big afro), a dusky tone to his skin and greeny blue eyes. He had a parent's evening last Thursday and my DH got there first. I was dropping off our older son at rugby and was a little bit late. When my DH arrived, he sat down at a chair with a sign that had our son's name on it. You know the typical parent's evening setup. After about a minute of sitting, one of the teachers came up and said to him "Hi, I think you're in the wrong chair. This is for 's parents. Maybe you should sit at your child's table instead." My DH then replied, "No, I am s dad". She laughed and said, "No, seriously you should probably move. When his parents come, they'll want to sit there". Again he explained that he was DS2's dad. She then walked away from him and came back with the headteacher! They both asked him to move away from the table and exit the school! [shocked] So he did. We arrived at the school (Me and DS2) and he was standing by the gates looking a bit upset. I asked him what he was doing there and we went inside. We then sat down at the table and began to listen to teachers talk about DS2. I wanted to give those women a piece of my mind but DS2 and my DH begged me not to. [embarrassed]I can tell that my DH is still upset about it. I'm thinking of lodging a complaint but I need my trusty mumsnetters to tell me whether I'm being a drama queen!
I'm the Brazilian parent, he's the Jamaican, if that wasn't clear.

[Stokes]

That is awful, definitely complain. Not all kids look like their biological parents, and not all parents are biological parents! Terrible treatment.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Are you saying they didn't mention it at all when you and him sat down?

Why on earth didn't he say something like look I am *s dad?!

[dontcallmethatyoucunt]

Good god. Your poor DH. Offensive, small minded, bigoted. Complain.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

What happened when you, your husband and DS2 all came back into the school together?

It's a bit strange. Even if your son looked like my dc (blonde hair, blue eyes, "factor 50" skin) your husband could still be their dad. (Either through adoption, becoming a step parent or a genetic mutation / recessive genes.) You'd have thought that as secondary teachers they had seen parents who don't look much like their kids before.

[wavingnow]

Definately writeto the governors. Outrageous. For one to be so stupid , and well, words fail me - but two to behave in this manner. I doubt that I would be happy wih any apology but it really needs to be recorded officially at the very least. How long have they worked in schools and at this particular school?

[VelvetCushion]

I think easy mistake to make by the teacher but.....where it goes totally wrong is where your husband explained he was the child's dad but teacher seemed to disbelieve him. Why did she not believe him in the first instance. Bloody ridiculous.
I think if you complain what will it achieve and what do you want out of it?
I would ignore to be honest. Some people are strange OP and some teachers can be odd

[Aussiemum78]

That is weird.

Could she be mistaking another man as his father? Does anyone else drop him to school? That's the only other explaination I can't think of.

Why go get the head teacher though? Overkill.

And to not apologise either?

[Buzzardbird]

Sorry OP, I meant did you introduce yourselves to the teacher? Did the teacher not even look embarrassed? I have had this level of rudeness from people but wouldn't hesitate in reporting a professional for doing it.

[PacificDogwod]

YANBU.
Complain.
And encourage to have a genetics lesson

[PacificDogwod]

encourage them to have a genetics lesson. Sorry.

[VelvetCushion]

Just to ask. Why did you not complain at the time. One of you could have stood back with the child whilst the other complained. Why now and not then when you had a fantastic opportunity to make them all looks like the pratts they were.

[danieladarling]

DS2 is 7 and we only moved to the area this year so this was our first parent's evening. To be honest, I'm having second thoughts about the school now but he's only just got settled in!

[Lurkedforever1]

Yanbu, you should definitely complain. Bet they don't quiz every parent with different colouring to their dc. And wtf do they do about adopted dc with no resemblance to their parents? Throw them out too?

My dd is a different colour entirely to me and I'd be fuming if I'd been treated like that.

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

I can't believe this, I mean I believe you OP I just can't get my head round a teacher doing that what a

[VelvetCushion]

Oh get it! Bloody people are thoughtless and ignorant OP. If you not happy with school then get your lovely boy out of there now

[TurnOffTheTv]

Well what did they say when you all went back in? Seeing as though they just asked him to leave the premises?

[PreAdvent13610]

daniel it is best not to name your child on MN ask MNHQ to change his name to minidan or something.
If they show that level of racism to your DH just imagine how the treat the kids.

[danieladarling]

We all just wanted it to be over with Velvet. And Buzzard, the 'teacher' in particular doesn't teach DS2 but takes him for reading occasionally so we never actually saw her for parent's evening. His brother normally takes him to school Aussie but his brother looks very Jamaican. DS1 is actually the picture of me but most people don't notice it because he is so dark skinned whilst DS2 actually looks exactly like my DH!

[fruitlovingmonkey]

I'm angry on your behalf.
I can't believe how ignorant some teachers are. She owes your DH a grovelling apology.

[upthegardenpath]

Good Lord OP!
Where do you live? Outer Mongolia?!
Have these idiots never heard of mixed races being, er, mixed??!!!
Pathetic, rude and frankly disgraceful behaviour - YANBU at all.
This is so un-PC that i hardly know where to start

[clam]

This is so odd. In our last parents' evening, I had a few consultations where I had no idea who the other adult was. Seemed rude to enquire. One guy turned up with a child's mother (who was known to me), but as far as I knew he was father to a child I had last year. I just had to assume they were now in a relationship and he was there in a stepfather capacity.
Another mum turned up with a much younger bloke, and didn't introduce him at all. During the consultation she referred to the child's dad, as well as her abusive ex (as two different people) and I had to decide for myself who this new bloke was.
Another mum turned up with another woman - they did at least explain that she was a friend who had a child with similar issues.
Then I had another child whose parents came (clearly a couple) but also brought along the grandmother, who dominated the entire conversation and neither parent got a word in edgeways.

[Bogburglar99]

Absolutely insane and very offensive. Genetic combinations throw up all manner of permutations (though what you describe doesn't sound so very unusual either). And even if his being the genetic father was utterly implausible - adoption? Step parent?

Not to mention the offensive and bonkers way of approaching it all.
Surely first question would be 'hello, are you Xs dad?' - and if answer yes, why on earth assume that any parent would want to impersonate another one?

There are two children at my DCs sports class who are an entirely different colour and, apparently, ethnic origin to their parents (I've met both). I don't go around asking why that should be!

Have you used your DSs real name in the post? If so congratulations on your taste in names, but you might want to ask MNHQ to edit it out as it will be very identifying.

[VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon]

You're being a bit silly naming both your children - you realise mumsnet has a fuckton of members right? The teacher could be reading this right now.

[pootlepootle]

I find this so sad. Its like going back to the 70s.