to think parents have no idea what goes on in schools

[dogsnotsprogs]

I am nearing my end of sixth form (A Levels) and I was just thinking that parents might not understand the pressures school gives children/young people as well as what goes on, on a daily basis.

I am just going to give a few examples of what has happened in my years at a state comprehensive school.

1. A boy (think this was year 10/11 so 15/16 years old) came into the classroom at lunch with a vibrator/dildo and was waving it about before he ran up to this boy (same age) and rammed the vibrator near his asshole through his school trousers. The second boy told his mum and then the first boy nearly got arrested for sexual assault. Nobody cared about the second boy and people started to dislike him, as the first boy was suspended for a week.

2. I know a lot of parents worry about porn / the Internet. I was aware of porn and sex for pleasure rather than to pro-create, at about 11? Boys had it on their phones and were sending it to each other.

3. I don't know if you've seen the videos on Facebook but there are some gore/shock sites that contain images of weird fetishes, gay porn, infected vaginas and Mexican men getting beheaded with a chainsaw. We (us being my year group) saw these pictures and gross videos so much throughout year 10-12 and still today. We have become desensitised to violence, sexual violence and gore.

4. I watched my first horror film (rated 15) at 6 years old, as did most of the people at school.

5. Swearing is frequent. Now I'm in sixth form it's also used more commonly by teachers who we call by their first names.

6. Seatbelting and peanutting someone? Does this still happen?? Seatbelting someone is where you pull as hard as you can on their backpack and hopefully usually they will fall to the ground. I saw someone have their bag completely ripped from the handles earlier today. Peanutting someone is (if they wear a tie for uniform) pulling/tugging in their tie so the knot gets super tight and is often impossible to get off.

7. Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students.

8. A girl in my GCSE English class got drunk in the double lesson after drinking vodka in full view of the teacher.

9. The majority of people in my year lost their virginities at around ages 13/14 and some have up to 12 partners at the age of 18.

Was it like this in your day? AIBU to think you are unaware of this sort of thing occurring in your child's school?

BTW - My school is shit, I know that.

There's loads more but I can't think!

dogs

I agree you dont have to apologise

And the more modern stuff like internet porn is very scary to me,no lad at my school showed me dirty magazines (though i know they had them)

And there are probably loads of parents who dont think (or rather hope 😀) that it doesn't happen anymore

PS if you're thinkihg you survived school and hated it, life gets a lot better and you will have control which is key to why it gets better!

Your op wasn't rude dogs, and you haven't made a twat of yourself.

7) Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students.

I threw a biro at a student. They didn't have a pen and I couldn't be arsed to walk across the classroom to give one to them. Does it count that I said "catch" before I threw it?

Throwing chairs at students

I remember a teaching throwing a blackboard rubber (is that the right name) at one of the students. Luckily he missed. Now that could cause some damage, a solid piece of wood flying through the air.

7) Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students.

I've known pupils throw chairs at teachers, does that count?

I just think it's sad that the system has clearly not changed much at all.

It's not the system. It's people. Some people are idiots, some make mistakes, some make bad decisions etc.

In a school you have a lot of teens together. Shit happens.

This doesn't sound that much like the what I thought was a very bog standard comp I went to. I never heard a teacher swear and they didn't throw things (really??). I'm finding that a bit depressing if that's the reality. Am sure there was plenty of shagging aged 14 though not amongst my friends. Porn, violence - everyone has a smart phone, not sure that's much to to with the school, likewise the horror films.

If my DCs are in a class with their teacher throwing chairs and pupils getting pissed on vodka in full view of the teacher that will be the last day they attended that school. Am amazed that's a normal experience.

wanders off to continue sheltered life

If my DCs are in a class with their teacher throwing chairs and pupils getting pissed on vodka in full view of the teacher that will be the last day they attended that school. Am amazed that's a normal experience.

Those things aren't a normal experience

One thing you need to remember OP, is that in school, unless you actually saw it with your own eyes it was far likely a lot more tame than it is made out.

Also people lie, EVERYONE is shagging aged 14, EVERYONE has watched porn, EVERYONE watches horror films aged 6..

Also the point about teens being anarchic trailblazers stands true, your generation are actually a little bit more staid than previous ones, you drink less, take less drugs, smoke less etc.

The OP wasn't rude. Maybe just a bit naive to think parents have no idea.

I'd like to hear more about the pressure pupils feel about doing well academically. I genuinely have no idea how much pressure is put on kids these days. Of course it's great if kids feel motivated and want to do well, but too much pressure isn't healthy.

It's a fine line.

You aren't a twat Op

Naive like a teenagers are, not desensitised to violence and horror etc.

Like most teenagers you are using phrases you have heard but don't realise a lot of this went on and we adulting fairly well.

I think it's interesting that you think parents don't know and would be shocked - presumably your parents don't know and would be shocked.
I do think some of that stuff is pretty erm, not nice, but ... please don't take this the wrong way... I am not exactly surprised.

I hope that doesn't mean my children won't tell me things when they go to secondary school. I didn't tell my mum anything as i didn't think she could cope with it :) I hope they don't think things like that about me

I went to a school abroad in the 90s. I haven't seen or experienced drugs, violence, abuse, bullying, peanutting, teachers throwing things at students. Maybe a bit of drinking and smoking but never in the school. We had groups of friends. I wonder if if was different because it was abroad or because it was 20+ years ago or was I oblivious?

It terrified me to read this.

Meh... None of that surprises me. There were regular hard drug takers, people SI-ing in the cupboards, and lesbian sex goings on in the toilets. All girls school so no straight sex mind. Pleanty of grim stuff on computers, and that was 15 years ago.

Stuffs always gone on. Nothing new about that.

My friend had worms stuffed up her bits at 11 by a boy does that happen else where?

No nothern. That's unusual.

When I was young the old people used to say "you young people think you invented sex/drinking etc etc. I used to be young and you have no idea..." Blah blah. Always made me laugh as I thought they had no idea. Now I'm late 40's myself, I find myself thinking the exact same thing. Lol

I am completely aware of what goes on in schools. I've experienced lots of what you say and can raise you oh so much more" wait till you get to university!!

Yes school similar but first (professional) job worse. Ended up working for a crook, in a den of thieves and being questioned by the fraud squad. A few gormless teenagers sniffing things and gawping at porn was tame in comparison.

That said the stuff that went on at the public schools my friends went to way way worse than anything at my rural comp.

Kerala, who are you, Corky's ghost?!

Wow. You invented it all.
Or not.

I'm in my 30s and it's all familiar, apart from the porno. We had to make do with finding piles of mags dumped in bushes or stealing someone's big brothers copy of Debbie does Dallas. It was harder to get, but we managed!

I went to a fairly rough school in the seventies
Drugs sex and alcohol were an issue
We were pretty awful to some of our teachers main difference is they were still allowed to be violent back - I received 3 broken fingers on one hand and 2 on the other for backchatting my science teacher
Sexual abuse was rife to the point we didn't think it was worth reporting unless actually raped
I don't think it matters when I lost my virginity but there were a fair few teenage pregnancies,
Eating disorders and suicides mainly related to bullying still happened
We also had a few arsonists and one bomb building crazy individual who had to sit their 'o' levels under police escort
I learnt a lot about life as well as the main curriculum - it helped me decide I wanted more for my future, and have succeeded somewhat

We also used to debag each other - pull someone's trousers down.

And sniff tippex. Which was non toxic, but worth a go.

I'm still friends with most of the people I was friends with at school, a rebellious bunch of no good doctors, solicitors, nurses and librarians we all turned into.

We had a Maths teacher who chucked blackboard erasers (the kind in the huge wooden block) at you. He misjudged once and a kid ended up with a scar that nearly lost him his eye. Then he stopped.