to think parents have no idea what goes on in schools

[dogsnotsprogs]

I am nearing my end of sixth form (A Levels) and I was just thinking that parents might not understand the pressures school gives children/young people as well as what goes on, on a daily basis.

I am just going to give a few examples of what has happened in my years at a state comprehensive school.

1. A boy (think this was year 10/11 so 15/16 years old) came into the classroom at lunch with a vibrator/dildo and was waving it about before he ran up to this boy (same age) and rammed the vibrator near his asshole through his school trousers. The second boy told his mum and then the first boy nearly got arrested for sexual assault. Nobody cared about the second boy and people started to dislike him, as the first boy was suspended for a week.

2. I know a lot of parents worry about porn / the Internet. I was aware of porn and sex for pleasure rather than to pro-create, at about 11? Boys had it on their phones and were sending it to each other.

3. I don't know if you've seen the videos on Facebook but there are some gore/shock sites that contain images of weird fetishes, gay porn, infected vaginas and Mexican men getting beheaded with a chainsaw. We (us being my year group) saw these pictures and gross videos so much throughout year 10-12 and still today. We have become desensitised to violence, sexual violence and gore.

4. I watched my first horror film (rated 15) at 6 years old, as did most of the people at school.

5. Swearing is frequent. Now I'm in sixth form it's also used more commonly by teachers who we call by their first names.

6. Seatbelting and peanutting someone? Does this still happen?? Seatbelting someone is where you pull as hard as you can on their backpack and hopefully usually they will fall to the ground. I saw someone have their bag completely ripped from the handles earlier today. Peanutting someone is (if they wear a tie for uniform) pulling/tugging in their tie so the knot gets super tight and is often impossible to get off.

7. Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students.

8. A girl in my GCSE English class got drunk in the double lesson after drinking vodka in full view of the teacher.

9. The majority of people in my year lost their virginities at around ages 13/14 and some have up to 12 partners at the age of 18.

Was it like this in your day? AIBU to think you are unaware of this sort of thing occurring in your child's school?

BTW - My school is shit, I know that.

There's loads more but I can't think!

oh and god help you if you go to Uni - your school sounds tame!

to think parents have no idea yes. I thought that too when I was in 6th form. DD probably thinks I have no idea what happens at Uni either.

Sounds like my school, but without the social media.

Sounds much like my old bog standard Comp where I did fairly well academically tbh. The only real difference is the advent of the internet and smart phones. Porn is on a different device but porn isn't new. I made a small fortune at school when I was around 13/14 selling copied porn videos! nearly 20 years ago (feeling old!) I had 2 video recorders in my bedroom, the lads would supply (their Dads) porn vids, I would play on one player wired-up to the other which was recording with a blank video. Sold them on to the rest of the lads at school!! Paid for all me very boozy weekends over the park when my mom thought I was being all studious at my friends!

Awful to look back on really but I had a great time at my school, it was like a giant youth club!

Alcohol and cigs were far easier to get when I was younger. I am in my thirties and look it, still get asked for id on occasion

I think a lot of these things happened in my school. My parents didn't know and tbh neither did I firsthand. My parents had instilled good morals in me and I had a good set of friends who cared about their education so stuff like that never really bothered or affected me.

I remember in year 9 a girl coming in drunk after spending lunch time drinking in the pub with her 18 year old "bf". .

You know how people moan about 'mansplaining'?

I feel we've just been 'teensplained'

I've no idea why the OP assumed we don't know what goes on in schools, or the need to explain peanutting/seatbelting etc, like we'd never heard of it

I went to a good catholic school (early 90's) and the only difference was the internet.

We had the police come in once to do a talk on drugs with little bags of samples. Not only did half the class know what they all were, they also knew where to get them for the best price.

One of my mates was shagging a maths teacher in 6th form and another had been the brook centre for the morning after pill many times.

Porn wise it was pretty tame though as usually mags or the odd vhs tape passed around. We did have More magazine with position of the fortnight though.

We had a local night club that many of us got in at 15/16 and the teachers would be in there too. No one give a shit.

Was it like this in your day?
Yes of course it was. I went through secondary school in the 70s.

My dc went through the school system late 90's early 2000's.
There's nothing in your op that was any different to either my or my dc's education.
Not sure what your point is really.

If your school 'is shit' I'd suggest that this is not the best forum to obtain advice.
Your first port of call should be a) your parents and b) the school.
If you were trying to 'shock' parents in your op, you've picked the wrong site.

I agree worra!

1. A boy (think this was year 10/11 so 15/16 years old) came into the classroom at lunch with a vibrator/dildo and was waving it about before he ran up to this boy (same age) and rammed the vibrator near his asshole through his school trousers. The second boy told his mum and then the first boy nearly got arrested for sexual assault. Nobody cared about the second boy and people started to dislike him, as the first boy was suspended for a week. This is a one off example, but I imagine could happen in any school in the country, however nice or expensive.

2. I know a lot of parents worry about porn / the Internet. I was aware of porn and sex for pleasure rather than to pro-create, at about 11? Boys had it on their phones and were sending it to each other. Yes, I'm aware this happens. I check my DCs phones, and they are not allowed to have them in school.

3. I don't know if you've seen the videos on Facebook but there are some gore/shock sites that contain images of weird fetishes, gay porn, infected vaginas and Mexican men getting beheaded with a chainsaw. We (us being my year group) saw these pictures and gross videos so much throughout year 10-12 and still today. We have become desensitised to violence, sexual violence and gore. Yes, I'm aware violence is easily accessed via the internet. Which is why I have taught my DC what to do if they inadvertently access it.

4. I watched my first horror film (rated 15) at 6 years old, as did most of the people at school. This is not a school issue. Or did you actually watch a 15C film at school???

5. Swearing is frequent. Now I'm in sixth form it's also used more commonly by teachers who we call by their first names. My DC go to a school where all teachers are addressed by their first names. Teachers shouldn't be swearing.

6. Peanutting someone is (if they wear a tie for uniform) pulling/tugging in their tie so the knot gets super tight and is often impossible to get off. All schools around here have clip-ons. "tie jacking" does occur

7. Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students. Did they continue teaching????

8. A girl in my GCSE English class got drunk in the double lesson after drinking vodka in full view of the teacher. Things haven't changed much since the 80's then

9. The majority of people in my year lost their virginities at around ages 13/14 and some have up to 12 partners at the age of 18. Lots of people all said they'd lost their virginity at 13 at my school in the '80's. Whether they actually did or not, I've no idea because I wasn't there. The word "slag" was used lot, but no one got pregnant while at school. Although one girl did get married to a much older man, which was just....odd

It sounds very much like the crappy school I went to, although there was no internet in those days. There were also cigarettes and bullying. But we had zero pressure on us to do well academically. Teachers often trotted out the line "It makes no difference to me if you don't pass any GCSE's" Most teachers totally didn't care if we didn't do well academically.

I think what you have described can happen at any school, not just crappy ones, but it's the frequency and how the school handles it is the important bit.

And we didn't even have redbull to mix with our vodka, or cheeky vimtos. You drank MadDog 20/20 in the park.

I suspect the op is a poor construct but giving him or her the benefit of the doubt please know this:

1. There is nothing new under the sun.
2. Many of us work in schools.
3. Many of us talk to our children

Try harder next time.

Isn't it a huge surprise that OP hasn't rejoined us? Too busy 'writing' the next 'state comprehensive' school expose to convince all the stupid know-nothing plebs that academies are actually a good thing.

Nicky, really. I know you were given a hard time but isn't this beneath even you?

Oh wait, you're a tory. As you were then.

Thank you so much for letting me know that things seem to have improved massively since I was in school.
Clearly teens today have little imagination or are much less feral.

Haven't read all thread.

Seatbelting and peanutting someone? Does this still happen?? Yes it does. Never heard of it in my school but dds school does.

In my Mums day teachers threw board dusters (big wooden ones) at children

In my day teachers called Sen pupils nasty names. The naughty kids threw chairs and pinned a teacher against the wall.

In my second school kids were caught taking Es in class resulting in several children being expelled.

In my dds school at least two of lower schools have been threatened with knifes and a pupil has flashed his privates at a bunch of younger kids. We aren't as niave as you think.

Ha Worra, I've been off to read with my youngest and the word 'teensplaining' also popped into my head.

DS1 does it to me too. Patronisingly tries to explain computer games and IT to me. I have to keep reminding him that not only was I gaming long before he was born but I'm a very qualified and experienced IT Tutor ffs.

When DD gets home from Youth Club at 9.30 I'll get her to pop on here and 'teensplain' social media for everyone. Except that would never happen because a) she's not a patronising person and b) she wouldn't be caught dead on MN, like most teens. Unless they're here for the lolz.

This all happened at my fairly good school. It was shocking coming from a safe, friendly primary school to somewhere where no one has any respect for each other. The years I wasted trotting up to school not really learning anything. Everyone was obsessed with sex, personal appearance, alcohol and drugs. Oh, and being funny and mucking around.
I suppose what the OP might be trying to get at is the emphasis we place on education whilst at the same time acknowledging that all this 'noise' goes on at the same time. We hear about how the government is destroying everyone's education, parents get obsessed with finding the right school, and a tremendous fuss is made if a pupil misses a day of school. But meanwhile the kids are busy with dildos, gay porn and seatbelting.

Everyone who went to school ever understands this. Kids are cunts.

HAHAHA

All this thread proves is that this has literally been the case as far back as living memory (and I dare say as far back as schooling the proles goes) and that it happens at the nice catholic schools and the dodgy community colleges. But even so, by and large everyone's alright and society isn't on its knees. People leave and left these schools and became lawyers and teachers and doctors without substance abuse issues and psychopathic tendancies.

For what it's worth I've heard similar stories come out of my Nans grammar of the 1940s....My Dads secondary modern of the late 1950s/early 60s... My Mums grammar of the 1970s... My selective Catholic girls school of the 1990s and my sisters bog standard mixed comp of the early 2000s. I think it's a universal experience.

And actually, as a teacher and a teacher who has taught in some fucking rough schools too I've actually never witnessed anything quite as bad as I saw with my own eyes 20 years ago. The rules are much stricter than they were about the legalities surrounding children.

My brother went to a very sought after grammar school in the 70's.
It was the absolute norm for teachers to smoke in class.
Love how the OP assumes that parents are naive and know nothing about anything

Actually I can defend the OP on the point of parents to some extent

I eventually told my mum some of this in my 20s and she was shocked but I thought that was because she's from a more strict country.

Read all your comments.

I can see now that my OP was quite rude, so for that I apologise.

I just think it's sad that the system has clearly not changed much at all.

Although the school environment was shit, with 6 girls dropping out as they fell pregnant (one of them at 12!) I did well academically (great GCSEs results) and I plan to go to Uni to study English Lit

I have made a twat of myself sorry

Don't think you need to apologise, I was wondering if it's really a cry for help ie help I don't like what I've had to endure is life going to always be like this?

Dogs, I don't know what you mean by system? The system isn't at fault, put human beings together and you get loads of random shit. There's pregnant teens dropping out at every school just as in my day....though I did hope they'd be less silly now there's better access to contraception and abortion.

Anyway OP I'm hoping, from your username, that you're planning a childfree life which does avoid some of the madness caused by humanity as well as all the awful kid stuff the only childfree girl I knew at school (i mean, said she'd never have them) lives in the country with her dogs and is happy as Larry like me. But I will be sure to tell her secondary school is the same as it ever was...most of our friends' kids are still in primary.