to think parents have no idea what goes on in schools

[dogsnotsprogs]

I am nearing my end of sixth form (A Levels) and I was just thinking that parents might not understand the pressures school gives children/young people as well as what goes on, on a daily basis.

I am just going to give a few examples of what has happened in my years at a state comprehensive school.

1. A boy (think this was year 10/11 so 15/16 years old) came into the classroom at lunch with a vibrator/dildo and was waving it about before he ran up to this boy (same age) and rammed the vibrator near his asshole through his school trousers. The second boy told his mum and then the first boy nearly got arrested for sexual assault. Nobody cared about the second boy and people started to dislike him, as the first boy was suspended for a week.

2. I know a lot of parents worry about porn / the Internet. I was aware of porn and sex for pleasure rather than to pro-create, at about 11? Boys had it on their phones and were sending it to each other.

3. I don't know if you've seen the videos on Facebook but there are some gore/shock sites that contain images of weird fetishes, gay porn, infected vaginas and Mexican men getting beheaded with a chainsaw. We (us being my year group) saw these pictures and gross videos so much throughout year 10-12 and still today. We have become desensitised to violence, sexual violence and gore.

4. I watched my first horror film (rated 15) at 6 years old, as did most of the people at school.

5. Swearing is frequent. Now I'm in sixth form it's also used more commonly by teachers who we call by their first names.

6. Seatbelting and peanutting someone? Does this still happen?? Seatbelting someone is where you pull as hard as you can on their backpack and hopefully usually they will fall to the ground. I saw someone have their bag completely ripped from the handles earlier today. Peanutting someone is (if they wear a tie for uniform) pulling/tugging in their tie so the knot gets super tight and is often impossible to get off.

7. Teachers have thrown stuff (chairs etc) at students.

8. A girl in my GCSE English class got drunk in the double lesson after drinking vodka in full view of the teacher.

9. The majority of people in my year lost their virginities at around ages 13/14 and some have up to 12 partners at the age of 18.

Was it like this in your day? AIBU to think you are unaware of this sort of thing occurring in your child's school?

BTW - My school is shit, I know that.

There's loads more but I can't think!

I am in my mid forties and I think the main difference nowadays is the access to graphic porn. Seeing a few porno mags, 1970s porn films and handing around copies of The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty is not the same thing as seeing the easily accessible and very graphic sex that young people can see nowadays online.

^the next generation are rarely the trailblazing anarchists they think themselves at the time^

and that the previous generation have been there before

Left school 25 years ago. It's no different. Teacher launched his desk at us and another had tendency to launch the blackboard rubber at us.

So surprisingly I think most parents no what's going on. If not their pretty thick.

Oh yes, I forgot about the weed smoking and the teachers had given up trying to get people to stop smoking normal cigarettes. My sister also shagged a teacher. This was one of her better local schools too, I wonder if it was worse in the inner city schools?

Are phones allowed in other schools?

I quite like our schools rules on phones. Can't have them. End of. Teacher spies a phone its confiscated until a parents can come and get it.

Of course they all have them. But no one dares get them out. They 'will literally die without their phones'

What an odd post. What are you hoping everyone's going to say op?

Nothing there that surprises me OP except this I watched my first horror film (rated 15) at 6 years old, as did most of the people at school. How does that fit into your secondary school scenario?

Sounds like my 80's school days - I hated every minute. I seem to remember my fellow students thought it was sport to see how many teachers they could reduce to tears/sick leave with stress. I remember tables and chairs being thrown around the classroom and teachers being shoved into ditches.

Agree with redhat (we're a similar age) porn was available back then but it was a video or mag passed round parties, these days it seems to be more ubiquitous and more hard core.

I left (a reasonably good) school over 20 years ago and the only thing that's different today is technology. Many kids were drinking and having sex between 13-15. Fighting was the norm, as was hedge porn. I remember going on a school trip and the first thing we did once on the mini bus was drop some acid.

Happy days by all accounts

All your points happened at my very middle class church school 10+ years ago.

Plus, much much much worse.

You sound quite naive, but also like you want us to be impressed.

Drugs, sex, alcohol, and swearing have been around since the beginning of time. So has teenagers behaving like jumped up little shits.

I am nearly 50, I went to a girls grammar school. I lost my virginity at 15, I swore like a trooper then, and sometimes now but never in public. Had never heard of porn until about 20. Teachers used to hit us with rulers. Many of my friends glue sniffed age 16. I took magic mushrooms age 16 and I smoked dope at 18, only once though as it made me sick. I was given a police caution for graffiti at 16 and shoplifted but never got caught. I used to get drunk on the park at 14. I used to say I was staying at a friends and we would stay on the streets all night. I had a boyfriend who was a fairground lad.

Wow, this sounds horrendous, I was a normal if slightly rebellious teenager of the 80s. I have held down a well paid full time job since 19, have a charmed life, two well brought up adult children who didn't do half what I did and I turned out OK. I don't think things are worse now, just different. At least my kids tell me what goes on now, my mother hadn't a clue.

This is so false that it's funny.

This is why we live in Canada.

After reading this I'll keep dd at her girls school

I hear what you're saying OP. Sounds very like my experiences at school over 20 years ago, except of course for the internet issues.

My DD is in primary school now, but goes to secondary soon. I'm worried for her.

I remember the level of brutality and violence, the sexual violence, the horrendous bullying that all went on, daily, multiple times a day, some of it under the teachers radar, some not. For me, the culture shock between primary and secondary was HUGE.

Obviously I got used to it fast, as did everyone. But the atmosphere was brutal. And this was a school that was not 'dreadful', it wasn't great but there were many worse... I know people who taught there then, who look back at it with extreme positivity. It was not a good place to be though.

I just hope my DD copes with it all. (She's going to a different school, but I'm sure there'll be similarities.)

I'm 28. Your school sounds a lot like mine was, OP. I would not have been surprised if anything like that had happened.

(Yes, I went to a shit school too. I'm alright )

Ah bless only it happens in girls schools too

Anyone mentioned the 'worst thing that happened at your school ' thread yet?

That was a shocker.

I feel I should post one of those 'in my day' FB memes that goes on about how we only had 4 tv channels and if you wanted to call a friend you had to go round and knock on their door.

I'm well aware shit goes on at school. Shit went on when my parents were there, when I was there, while my DD is there now and will carry on forever until we're all blasted to death by a meteorite/killed by the next ice age etc.

oh and re: 9. some of those people will be lying.

Shouldn't you be doing homework?

DH and I went to a similar school, it's why we will be home edding any child we have.

Meh I used to get stoned in pe, take speed and ecstasy at the start of the day with my friends, pretend to have sex on the tables in biology, lock teachers in cupboards, I knew teachers get assaulted, 3 teachers ganged up on my brother and threatened him, my other brother set fire to part of the school.. The list is endless and I left school about 20 years ago.

I now have a 14yo in secondary school, he tells me everything, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Nothing he tells me is anything new.

What a strange post. Not sure what point you are trying to make (badly)

No nor me.

Plus some of the points have nothing to do with school.

I went to a very naice school with very naice children. Even then there were truants, Class As in the dorms, bunking off to nick crisps from the corner shop, drinkers in the locker rooms, suicides etc.

Teenagers are teenagers wherever you are, whatever decade it is.