To expect to XH to be prosecuted over the £80,000 he owes in child support?

[CreviceImp]

Bit of background. My XH has refused to pay child support for years. The CSA have been ineffective to say the least. There have been a couple of occasions whereby he has had some attachment to earnings made and payments have happened but not for years. I have given up my career as a teacher because I have a severely disabled child (and two others to care for) and have been her carer for years.He currently is self employed as a haulage driver.

The last conversation I had with the CSA (or whatever moniker they are currently using) I was told they couldn't find a firm address for him. I found one and passed it on but they said they needed absolute confirmation and they couldn't get it. I received a letter last week stating they had written to him to let him know he no longer had to pay child support but his arrears still stood. Seems they have an address after all.....

Having got my MP involved to no avail and written/contacted them numerous times AIBU to expect that he now be imprisoned for the years of what amounts to child neglect? He has refused to share the care let alone the financial burden.

AIBU to ask what this government is going to do to deal with this ongoing inequality towards women and children? I see no social justice.

Yanbu, the system is a disgrace

If mothers didn't buy their children food, no one else would. This abuse is consistently perpetrated by fathers, secure in the knowledge that the mothers will pick up their slack.

If my DSC mother cared more for her DC than she did her latest of a long line bf then she wouldn't have lost residency and have court ordered indirect contact and their father and me wouldn't be picking up the slack.

Oh and if there was a petition for NRP to be made to pay I would sign.

DSC haven't and never will under the current system see a penny from their 'mother'

Deadbeats who have not paid for their children's up keep should not be then entitled to claim a state pension when their time comes. The government should implement this as a rule. Maybe then we would see a turn around in deadbeats putting their hands in pockets. Their share of state pension should be given to the rp to make up for lack of past child support.

No, its appalling, its only a few years ago that people who didn't pay their TV licence were jailed....if its less that 50,000 you can go to small claims court to reclaim the losses.

But yes there should be a form of redress for non-payers.

And they should Don'tcare.

Taking away his driving license is really going to make him more employable, isn't it?

It doesn't matter to the op if he's employed or not at this point does it? He hasn't paid for years, he has no intention of paying ever. Perhaps that would have been different had he known not paying would make his life much harder (as opposed to the op's life being made more difficult). Perhaps if the csa had gone to him when he owed, say £500 and told him to start paying or they'd wreck his credit rating he might have framed himself.....or if he knew his driving licence was at stake he might have just paid what he owed earlier,.

Agree that CMS/courts should get tough early, to prevent huge amounts being built up that will just never get paid.

It's a scandal.

My ex BIL works the system and sneers at my sister - he changes status often - goes on Jobseekers, pays irregular tiny amounts, signs off Jobseekers, goes self employed, nil income, no payments, rinse and repeat.

All the time he's working cash in hand DJing and various other jobs - he even has a van with the name of his Disco plastered up the side and yet no-one, not CMS, not HMRC, not the benefits folk, lifts a finger to stop him. It is a joke - they only tackle the easy cases.

Would/will gladly sign the petition. I wrote to Maria Miller when she was in cahrge of it - guess how much use that was.

OzWizard If they have no pension they will not be left to starve in the gutters.

I don't pretend to have any answers and I don't defend the deadbeats. But we have to keep our feet on the ground.

My exDH has always paid for his kids, my DD and two others from another marriage. The CSA are useless they made him overpay £4k yes £4k to his lying 1st ex wife.They took so much one month he none to live on or pay his rent.

He only got some of it back to, in my opinion they chase the easy cases as they can't be arsed with the complicated ones.

I'm sorry you're going through this though.

So many people on here defending deadbeat parents and spouting the usual single parent bashing rubbish.

Absolute disgrace.

I'm owed £12k. Ex-h does the old self-employed, cash in hand, refusing to co-operate thing. CSA got a couple of liability orders against him but they can't attach his earnings as he deals in cash, doesn't use banks, etc.

When I asked why they won't take his licence or 'send him to prison', I was told the CSA is being sued by 2 NRPS who had that action taken against them and they are saying it was unlawful. Therefore CSA won't do the licence/prison thing until the cases are sorted.

No idea if that's bullshit but it's what I was told probably to stop me ringing up and demanding they fucking DO something

Im on a different thread then as i haven't seem anyone defending nrp or bashing single mothers?

I didn't say single mothers. I said single parents. We just had someone upthread talking about how RP don't work and provide for their kids. Come on really? No they just look after and provide for their kids whilst nrp gets away with not paying and gets a pat on the head for you know... Just showing up every once in a while.

Does it occur to people that RP will have to pay/find childcare and cover all holidays/dick days etc?

That's on top of raising the kids the nrp left behind. If the nrp was doing their 50% then there is no maintenance issue is there?

So many people on here defending deadbeat parents and spouting the usual single parent bashing rubbish.

No there aren't 'so many people'.

equally there are many resident parents not financially providing for their children either who could work or do more than the token 16 hours

That is completely different and a very tenuous link to your favourite subject Autumn. Do you realise how tedious you sound?

I'm in favour of the petition

My DS1's dad owes me a fortune. It's been to court numerous times, bailiffs unsuccessful, he even complained about the amounts and took it to tribunal (and has appealed again) even though the judge called him a liar. The case was heard in Wales and I live on the coast and am disabled and they refused to move it. He didn't turn up..... I have a court order that's unenforceable. I would happily pay extra, have it moved to the high court and send it the kick arse Bailiffs.....it's never ending

In your case wannabestressfree he should at the very least be threatened with contempt, an offense which carries a prison sentence. I fear the only way to make government take real steps to get money out of these people would be to link benefits and maintenance, so they would have to pay less to rp if nrp paid more.

Thing is wasn't that done before? It didn't get nrp to pay it just left more children in poverty hence why that policy was reversed. No I think maybe actual punishment and making it socially unacceptable to abandon your parental responsibilities. I approve of the U.S. approach of publically identifying these deadbeats (male and female).

Agree.

If this was any other debt you'd go to court and if he didn't pay you'd send round the bailiffs.

There's no justice

I think the thing we have to be careful about is that we don't criminalise not providing financially for our children. I know why people are suggesting it and I completely agree with the sentiment behind it but actually it would be (in my view) a really retrograde and dangerous precedent.

Maybe it could be treated as a fraud if they were hiding money though? Although that would still mean that it would have to be proved which presumably is difficult if they're hiding it so effectively from the current regime. It isn't illegal to chose not to work (regardless of how many dependants you have) and I don't think it should be.

Is there a petition to create a public database of deadbeat NRPs?

I'm in the US and they mean business here when it comes to paying for your DC. There is also a huge social stigma attached to not paying support. My boss when I worked at the bank approved someone being hired who had been convicted of grand larceny about a decade earlier. He declined to hire someone who had been convicted of failure to pay child support about 5 years earlier.

Also courts here will garnish wages if any issues. It goes through payroll and what you owe is based on tax returns not some number you tell them. They also look at 2-3 years of returns because they want to make sure you are not trying to hide income.

No petition?

I just think this is way too complicated for any single rule, and it's going to be impossible to administrate case-by-case, which is why the CSA was brought in to start, one rule for all.

I can't see a way to force NRP to pay without affecting children. If they have children they currently live with, putting them in prison will affect those children, possibly leaving them in poverty- which I believe did happen in Canada for a while.

I do agree with 50/50 start, so no one is defined as RP, and work back from there, rather than the current method of assuming one RP has full time care, then calculating how much the NRP's CS is reduced by. I don't like the definition of overnights either- one parent could care for the child 7 am until 9pm, 7 days a week, but the other would be "RP" because they are present while the child sleeps.

Again the problem with 50/50, and defining by overnights is in most separations the NRP is left without a suitable home for overnights.

I am trying to think how you could possibly prevent or insure- increase taxes on the higher earning parent per child, then use that money as a savings pot that can be accessed by a RP only if household income drops below threshold, or when the child turns 18?

I also wonder how we provide for children of single parents who have no other parent- as a young child whose dad dropped dead, there was no CS to chase, my mum was completely on her own. I had a friend who would moan about the amount her nrp paid, and wonder why she seemed not to get my situation, no money, not ever. If CS is so needed, how to we support parents who can't get CS- death, disability, incapacity....

I hope we get the petition going op. The derailing posts trying to prevent it only encourage me to sign and share it one.