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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to XH to be prosecuted over the £80,000 he owes in child support?

347 replies

CreviceImp · 22/03/2016 09:09

Bit of background. My XH has refused to pay child support for years. The CSA have been ineffective to say the least. There have been a couple of occasions whereby he has had some attachment to earnings made and payments have happened but not for years. I have given up my career as a teacher because I have a severely disabled child (and two others to care for) and have been her carer for years.He currently is self employed as a haulage driver.

The last conversation I had with the CSA (or whatever moniker they are currently using) I was told they couldn't find a firm address for him. I found one and passed it on but they said they needed absolute confirmation and they couldn't get it. I received a letter last week stating they had written to him to let him know he no longer had to pay child support but his arrears still stood. Seems they have an address after all.....

Having got my MP involved to no avail and written/contacted them numerous times AIBU to expect that he now be imprisoned for the years of what amounts to child neglect? He has refused to share the care let alone the financial burden.

AIBU to ask what this government is going to do to deal with this ongoing inequality towards women and children? I see no social justice.

OP posts:
Original poster
CreviceImp · 13/04/2016 12:20

Collection.

OP posts:
ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 12:48

People just don't realise unless they have had experience of the CSA/CMS how shocking the system is.

Quite a lot of people wrongly label women going through the CMS as money grabbers and just out to punish their ex

ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 12:55

Charis Williams on Twitter is a single mum who her ex is a presenter on a tv program who pays no support despite being in newspapers bragging that he blown £20,000 on his new twin 1 year olds with new partner just for Xmas .
He is mocking the system and she sends CMS news clippings of his bragging and nothing is done.

Charis does a lot of interviews and tries to raise awareness of the problems faced.
It doesn't give me hope for my case though if her ex is blatantly taking the piss splashing the cash and bragging then I have no chance.
Her ex is also another one who says he isn't paying support as he isn't funding her.

ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 12:58

www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/weve-spent-19000-baby-twins-4635220

This is one of the articles, how he gets away with not paying but bragging in papers is unbelievable

Original poster
CreviceImp · 13/04/2016 13:09

Arrested the injustice of it stings and yet society continues to ignore it.

I was looking at the sorts of petitions that get lots of votes. Let's just say that quote about the British caring more about animals than children seems about right.....

I think until societally the message is zero tolerance on not supporting your child/ren people will think they can opt in/out.

I have tweeted Charis just to let her know some of us think it is wrong.

OP posts:
VertigoNun · 13/04/2016 13:10

That's a prime example of a man child. He is pretending he wants the best for his child when he clearly doesn't because he pretended he has no other children and pays no child support.

Original poster
CreviceImp · 13/04/2016 13:13

I think he needs a tweet about my petition Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
CreviceImp · 13/04/2016 13:14

The journalists were very slack not to point out the obvious weren't they?

OP posts:
VertigoNun · 13/04/2016 13:16

That is a case of children being an accessory or toy to that man.

Original poster
CreviceImp · 13/04/2016 13:22

That is a prime example of using children as a vanity project and being a hypocrite to boot.

OP posts:
Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:24

COuld someone explain the law? I believe when there was the old authority you could not personally sue the absent parent and had to leave it with the CMA. Then that body wrote of all the debt which seems appalling as it was writing off historic debt which was an asset of all those children and their resident parent. That seems to breach natural justice to me.
The new system is that you do not have to use the new system for child support and are encouraged not to so presumably if you get a binding court order and the father doesn't pay you could go the whole hog of seizing car, bankrupting him, seizing his house (if he has any money). I am not sure that is the case once you put yoruself in the CMS' hands . hey can be as slow and bad as they like.

So is it now better not to bother using them and use the courts instead?

I our court order unusually says that whoever the children with pays for them but we were a special case (which means for 12 years I've paid for all 5 children and worked full time and nor does the law allow me to force their father to have them even a night a year. So whilst it is hard for fathers who pay and do some childcare it is even harder if you as the mother (or father) have the children 365 nights a year without a night off, pay for the children, work full time plus had to pay a massive lump sum to their father. The court gives parents rights to see their chidlren but no right for the children or resident parent to force the absent parent even to have the children 2 hours a week never mind do their washing etc.

I don't understand why women date these loser men who don't see or pay for their children. How do the men explain it to the women? I have rejected men who are like that. I am not prepared to go out with them. I even had one on a first date showing off (as he works as a lawyer for a rich shipping fmaily) how he hides his money from his ex wife and children. Why would he think that would make me want him?

Boogers · 13/04/2016 13:26

I've just read that Mirror article in disbelief! For a start, who is he? And secondly, how vacuous can you get? Gold chandelier in a nursery, how gaudy. Shock

VertigoNun · 13/04/2016 13:27

Women can be misogynistic too. They want the money for themselves at a child's experience and will justify it many ways.

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:31

www.chariswilliams.co.uk/project/706/

Poor her. Surely they can find her husband's address. let us see what we can find on a companies house search.

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:32

Ah, very common name Dan Hill
www.take3management.co.uk/portfolio/daniel-hill/

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:34

Take3 management his agent surely could be required by a court order to disclose his address. the problem is that the parent owed the money does not usually directly sue and leaves it to the CMS. That loses the parent loads of power. If it were not for that the parent could issue a claim in a matter of hours to recover money and control the process.

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:36

Looks like the new wife's busienss is called Diva Dogs
www.petful.com/dog-shows/diva-dogs-day-2012-uk-complaints/

VertigoNun · 13/04/2016 13:36

How does the process work? Maybe a co ordinated stunt may be of press interest?

ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 13:38

Omg just looked at Dan hill Twitter and he even has set up a Twitter for his twins called @ukpamperedtwins on a picture with his twins and 2 other children I am guessing are his other children.
His older children are going to grow up reading what he splashed on his newest children and setting up Twitter pages for them but barely mentions them

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:39

But divadogs.co.uk doesn't work despite the twitter account giving that twitter.com/divadogsuk?lang=en

ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 13:41

DanielHill @danhilltv is his Twitter name

Eustace2016 · 13/04/2016 13:43

Companies house - diva dogs dissolved 23 February 2016

ArrestedDevelopment · 13/04/2016 13:43

Eustace I'm guessing the problem with him not paying is he will be self employed.

VertigoNun · 13/04/2016 13:44

Be careful not to become vigilantes.

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