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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to XH to be prosecuted over the £80,000 he owes in child support?

347 replies

CreviceImp · 22/03/2016 09:09

Bit of background. My XH has refused to pay child support for years. The CSA have been ineffective to say the least. There have been a couple of occasions whereby he has had some attachment to earnings made and payments have happened but not for years. I have given up my career as a teacher because I have a severely disabled child (and two others to care for) and have been her carer for years.He currently is self employed as a haulage driver.

The last conversation I had with the CSA (or whatever moniker they are currently using) I was told they couldn't find a firm address for him. I found one and passed it on but they said they needed absolute confirmation and they couldn't get it. I received a letter last week stating they had written to him to let him know he no longer had to pay child support but his arrears still stood. Seems they have an address after all.....

Having got my MP involved to no avail and written/contacted them numerous times AIBU to expect that he now be imprisoned for the years of what amounts to child neglect? He has refused to share the care let alone the financial burden.

AIBU to ask what this government is going to do to deal with this ongoing inequality towards women and children? I see no social justice.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 22/03/2016 11:10

no it is not micah. just that there is a lot fewer of them about so less is written about them. there are the same sort of people justifying men who do not pay as well as the ones that seem to be justifying your sdcs' mum.

VertigoNun · 22/03/2016 11:22

I am not getting into a debate with "poor menz" type posts. This is about children being defrauded and abused along with their main carer we all know is statistically a woman.

HopIt · 22/03/2016 11:26

I never understand how it's a debt you can shirk. If you don't pay barclaycard back they can force ccj's, bailiffs, bankruptcy.
Yet you don't pay to bring up the people YOU created and it's just 'oh never mind'.

Lurkedforever1 · 22/03/2016 12:20

I'll sign too. Dd's father owes me money in that region that I know of, probably more as I strongly suspect his income is even higher than that i know about.

CheeseAndOnionWalkers · 22/03/2016 12:34

I will sign a petition.

I can't believe that child maintenance isn't a debt that comes up on your credit score when you get a loan, mortgage etc.
The self employment trick is the worst though. If they tell Child Maintenance that they earn £50 a week or whatever, that's the figure that should come up when the non-resident parent tries to get a mortgage or credit card.

VertigoNun · 22/03/2016 12:40

All this needs to be explained in a petition if someone will write it.

Theambler · 22/03/2016 13:14

It's utterly shocking that this is still allowed to happen. I agree with the poster who says they only chase the easy cases.

Original poster
CreviceImp · 22/03/2016 13:16

I am going to crack on with it this evening when I get five and some headspace. Will report back x

OP posts:
RumAppleGinger · 22/03/2016 13:27

I would sign. Good luck drafting it OP. Plenty of help here if you need it.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 22/03/2016 13:41

It isn't just men that don't pay though Vertigo my mother never paid my dad a penny of maintenance for me she left before I turned 4 & my dad was always the one that had to make the 300 mile round trip to drop off/collect in the holidays. I left my coat in the car once, rather than buy me one herself she got my dad to send the funds. Sorry I get a bit ratty when people don't think 'mothers' can be as bad.

I agree with you OP there should be the ability to prosecute those that persistently don't pay what they owe. I'll sign a petition if one is started.

splendide · 22/03/2016 13:50

What is the legal position on owed child maintenance? Is it an enforceable debt owed to the resident parent? I presume not as you never hear of NRP's being sued for the money - does anyone know why not? Or perhaps they do get sued?

JustAnotherYellowBelly · 22/03/2016 14:19

That's what I was thinking. Is it possible to go down the small claims/civil court route?

(Absolutely no idea, just wondering?)

HopIt · 22/03/2016 14:20

I think they should be sued and I think it should be treated as a debt that if you default shows on your credit score.
I'm a big believer of carrot over stick. But I think a stick is needed or at least the threat of it

splendide · 22/03/2016 14:26

I guess if you have a court order that can be sued under and you could bankrupt them ultimately. We need someone knowledgeable to come on and explain!

AyeAmarok · 22/03/2016 14:28

I agree, still can't believe politicians allow this to continue. I'd definitely sign a petition.

DontcarehowIwantitnow · 22/03/2016 14:34

I am not getting into a debate with "poor menz" type posts. This is about children being defrauded and abused along with their main carer we all know is statistically a woman.

It shouldn't be associated with men or women.

We have residency of DSC. They have indirect contact with their mother.

We haven't seen a penny from her and very unlikely to.

I have always been supportive of women who are chasing men for maintenance and think it is only fair that it should be the same if the RP is a man.

Justanothermanicfriday · 22/03/2016 14:35

I guess if you have a court order that can be sued under and you could bankrupt them ultimately.

Then you would get little/nothing anyway.

splendide · 22/03/2016 14:37

Yes, Just, but it would be a hell of a threat wouldn't it? This would only be worth doing if you thought they were hiding money I suppose. You're quite right that there would be no point in suing someone completely impecunious.

AppleSetsSail · 22/03/2016 14:41

YANBU. Flowers What a cunt.

Dee03 · 22/03/2016 14:42

I'll sign a petition

DaphneWhitethigh · 22/03/2016 14:44

You need to be able to join the dots. Does their CSA form match their tax return? Does it match what they told their mortgage lender? It should be, (and is on paper) a sex-blind and access-blind system.

The Americans are said to have a system with teeth aren't they? I think the sad fact is that we'll only get proper enforcement if CS recieved is taken into account (maybe partially) for recipients' benefits / tax, which is something of a risk, but would motivate the powers that be somewhat.

Micah · 22/03/2016 14:45

I suppose the problem is though it's a lose/lose to prosecute a NRP for that sort of money.

Doubt they have 80k just hanging around, so you're looking at bankruptcy and non-payment anyway.

Who pays the legal fees? Unless the RP can afford a lawyer, it's not the sort of case the CPS is going to fund. Then defence lawyers etc... So add up all the legal fees, plus the 80k, add in a bankrupt NRP who can't pay, and you're left with a huge drain on public money. Even if you put them in prison for non payment, could mean they lose their jobs, homes, so you get even less.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/03/2016 15:00

Here in Canada they can lock them up. More pertinently in this case, they can also remove licences, including driving licence. That might concentrate his mind. They also garnish wages and tax refunds.

NickyEds · 22/03/2016 15:03

YANBU. if he declined to pay council tax or income tax for that period he would be imprisoned. It's neglect. He should also be vilified among his peers. Not paying for your children should be a shameful thing. It would be motivation indeed to do the right thing if the non paying nrp could end up with a criminal record.

Micah the deterrent effect would, hopefully prevent the debt reaching 80K in the first place so whilst not necessarily helpful in the case would still be useful.

Micah · 22/03/2016 15:26

It's no deterrent though if it's not going to be followed through?

Removing driving licences or imprisonment- RP is still left with nothing, more so if the NRp can't work.

They can only punish if they can pay but won't? So prosecuting for 80k, ends in bankruptcy, no punishment as willing to pay but can't? As far as I know if you refuse to pay council tax that's a different matter court wise to if you can't pay it because you declare bankruptcy.

People do this all the time to get around payment of debts. Declare bankruptcy, start again self employed.

The CSA costs a fortune to administrate as it is. Prosecution and imprisonment will cost even more.

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