To expect to XH to be prosecuted over the £80,000 he owes in child support?

[CreviceImp]

Bit of background. My XH has refused to pay child support for years. The CSA have been ineffective to say the least. There have been a couple of occasions whereby he has had some attachment to earnings made and payments have happened but not for years. I have given up my career as a teacher because I have a severely disabled child (and two others to care for) and have been her carer for years.He currently is self employed as a haulage driver.

The last conversation I had with the CSA (or whatever moniker they are currently using) I was told they couldn't find a firm address for him. I found one and passed it on but they said they needed absolute confirmation and they couldn't get it. I received a letter last week stating they had written to him to let him know he no longer had to pay child support but his arrears still stood. Seems they have an address after all.....

Having got my MP involved to no avail and written/contacted them numerous times AIBU to expect that he now be imprisoned for the years of what amounts to child neglect? He has refused to share the care let alone the financial burden.

AIBU to ask what this government is going to do to deal with this ongoing inequality towards women and children? I see no social justice.

[AppleSetsSail]

I can't see a way to force NRP to pay without affecting children. If they have children they currently live with, putting them in prison will affect those children, possibly leaving them in poverty- which I believe did happen in Canada for a while.

But I don't see anyone considering these factors when it comes to imprisoning people for not paying other debts - or am I missing something?

I think this is a strategic issue, really. It's probably not best for any one parent to be imprisoned for not paying CS for all the reasons noted above; it interferes mightily with employment, makes it impossible for the parent to see the child, etc.

That said, if everyone faced this possibility, there would be far less non-payment. How many people do you know who honestly consider not paying a parking ticket? They don't, because they know it's impossible to get away with - ultimately, the car will be impounded. Something to consider.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Cases such as your make me fucking seeeeth. They make the viens come out my neck. . They couldnt find him.!!!!!!!!!!!!. Well it's their job to look untill they did.
Also why do the cunting government hound the lone resident parent, but allows the absent parent, a life of Fucking Rielly. WHY!!!!!!.
I'll definitely sign your petition.

[starry0ne]

I have only ever got £5 a week from ex in 7 years he has not worked...

I think the biggest problem is I don't think the politicians care enough..LP are vilified with all sorts of judgements..So why fight for them..

To cut benefits means they have more money in the pot..As maintenance is not linked to benefits the government don't benefit..

I also think the fact it is mainly women who are the RP it tends to be a female issue ( although in my mind it is a child support issue not a gender issue)

I actually would like the bailiffs to be able to go in and take goods to the value of payments..

These people are selfish and actually I think do need a deterrent that affects them personally...

I am yet to see the or hear of the CMS doing anything the CSA didn't other than charge for the service..

[TremoloGreen]

I would definitely sign. HMRC hounded me for years over £200 they wrongly thought I owed them. They don't even try when children are the ones who suffer. Makes me

[Andrewofgg]

AppleSetsSail In the UK ordinary debt cannot lead to imprisonment. Nor should it.

[Want2bSupermum]

In the US they will also seize assets. Own a home and are late with child payments? You lose your home even if that home was purchased after you remarried someone else. The only way that doesn't happen is if there are children living there. Cars and other personal property are also taken away by the court.

Also, I don't see a problem with someone who thinks not paying support having a hard time with employment. It sends a loud and clear message that you MUST pay your child support and if your circumstances have changed you apply to the court for the amount to be reduced on an emergency basis. I audit payroll all the time so see the paperwork behind wage garnishments and hiring decisions. Normally if payment has been more than 5 days late a judge will authorize wage garnishment. There isn't normally an issue after that. Having a criminal record in the US isn't normally such a big deal if you are honest about it and show remorse. I was surprised by my boss hiring someone to work in a bank who was convicted of grand larceny but turning away someone who was late on child support. Many people here equate lack of payment of child support directly with child abuse.

[TheRegularShow]

Here is my story about how the child maintenance system is a utter joke.

Ex husband has moved and set up business run from home with his partner.
He has told cms that he is an employee of his 'friend' who he lives with and works with from his home address.
His partner has fraudulently provided wage slips as proof of his very low income and that is the only proof cms have asked for. So they have taken the word of his partner who he lives and works with and haven't even looked at bank statements etc or my proof that they are a couple and that they are dodging him paying.
I am going round in circles with cms as I can't get through to them that going off a wage slip provided by someone he lives with is not sufficient to prove his income

They live on a farm with 10 acres of land with 6 horses and 12 dogs but yet according to his 'wage slips' he earns less than £100 a week

[splendide]

I read a suggestion on here once that what should happen is that the government should pay the RP and then if the NRP doesn't pay it's a debt to the state not the RP. That still wouldn't help cases like TheRegularShow's though.

[wasonthelist]

I can't see a way to force NRP to pay without affecting children

Them not paying is affecting the children, and it's sending a confusing message to kids too.

[lalalalyra]

It's a shit system. It's also why I regularly rant when people say that CM should be included in means tested benefit calculations. My Grandparents had a nightmare when my Grandad was made redundant because at that point maintenance WAS included in income. So they were classed as getting the £67 a week maintenance it had been decided my deadbeat father was to pay them, but the CSA never managed to get a single penny from him (not even the £5 pw when he was on benefits).

When he died not long ago it was a bit of a saga apparently as it turned out he still owed money to the Secretary of State - I don't know all the details, but I think it must have been from when my Grandparents had to claim benefits after Grandad lost his job. The debt owed to my Grandparents presumably died when my Nana died (I'm not involved in his estate so have only heard little bits), but they wanted paying for the bit he owed. He was bankrupt at some point, but child maintenance isn't included in bankruptcy (unless you get CSA agreement which he didn't). So he still owed money for child support and I'm 34 (I'm the youngest). It enrages me because my Grandparents almost lost absolutely everything when Grandad was made redundant. The ended up spending a fortune on a shitty loan against their flat just to see us over. It makes me very angry when i think about how badly they were treated given that they saved SS the job of homing 4 abused/angry/troubled children and they were just left in a financial mess. Grandad's brother dying very unexpectedly and leaving him some money was all that saved us.

I was quite lucky. My ex was a bit of a dick for a while over maintenance, but he's in the army and they do not take kindly to someone shirking their responsibilities.

I'd happily sign a petition if it helped someone get out the situation my Grandparents were put in. It's shit that the system isn't any better now than it was when I was a kid.

[lalalalyra]

I can't see a way to force NRP to pay without affecting children

I think when you get to the point of considering sending an NRP to jail then it's long past the point of affecting the children. It's about punishing someone who has chosen to neglect their children.

If someone has a well paying job and they are living a nice life and then they make a choice that results in them losing their well paying job then tough. It's not going to affect the children anymore because they weren't benefiting from the well paying job anyway, it'll only affect the person who chose to neglect their children.

[starry0ne]

Do you know who also annoys me with his response is Jeremy Kyle... When NRP is asked if he pays for child...He says no she would spend it on drink he then Kyle responds set up a bank account and put it in for when child is 16.. This is not maintenance.. It is money to help raise a child.

[Andrewofgg]

Many of the non-paying NRPs have a series of "families", don't they? And every time one more child goes on the should-maintain list everyone gets less even if he pays all he is required to pay. I don't think castration is practical politics and short of that there is no remedy.

[cannotlogin]

If they have children they currently live with, putting them in prison will affect those children, possibly leaving them in poverty

but it's OK for the other children to live in poverty?

heard it all now

[cannotlogin]

in most separations the NRP is left without a suitable home for overnights

what evidence of this do you have. I don't personally know of any NRP who lost their home following relationship breakdown. I know plenty of PWC who did (including me).

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

I had a similiar letter..... Are they not standard now the csa no longer exist and it's gone to cms instead.

[DontcarehowIwantitnow]

I don't personally know of any NRP who lost their home following relationship breakdown. I know plenty of PWC who did (including me).

Tbf isn't it the nrp that does 'lose the home' usually. It is usually the primary carer that stays.

[simplydivine05]

You need to set up a case with the CMS now. This is why he has been sent a letter saying he no longer has to pay. I also got this notification and rang them in a rage, but it was just a very badly worded letter. I set up a case with the CMS and within a few minutes they had found his address and within two weeks they had his income details and had calculated his maintenance. His first payment was due three days ago. He has already told them he couldn't pay it and will send a double payment by 27th. If he doesn't pay I contact them and it costs him an extra 20% (unfortunately I will lose 2% too but something is better than nothing). I have no doubt I will be putting this into practice as he hasn't even asked for my bank details to pay yet. How it will pan out I don't know. I haven't had a payment for around two years, and in five years I can count on one hand the number of payments I've received. I only ever received regular payments when it was deducted from his jobseekers. I got £1.67 a week from him. Didn't even cover the cost of a school dinner
I am interested to see if this new and improved CMS is really any better.

[Catvsworld]

Can you not get a a high court rit

My ex is the same feel your pain he hasn't paid in about 13 years and the fucking cheek took me to mediators a few years back were he promised to start paying double the normal cm rate to look like bills big balls in front of the guy and to this date the bank account I opened for him to pay in stands at £1

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

I'd happily sign. My ex is absent but he at least pays the minimum. Mainly because he's too lazy to be self employed. He gets as well paid a job as possible then does the minimum necessary to keep it. This of course works in DD's favour and the money I get for her really does improve her quality of life. Children whose NRP manages to shirk it really deserve better from those who can enforce it.

I'm quite militant on the issue. I believe resident parents who aren't getting any money from NRPs should get money from the government on the NRP's behalf. The debt is then a debt to the government. If no effort is made to pay off that debt, state pensions should be withheld and private pensions seized. If the NRP can't then afford to support themselves through their old age, I'd imprison them. Hopefully that would be a deterrent in itself but if not, old age doesn't erase past sins. These people will have had all their working lives to clear the debt.

[HarlotBronte]

If maintenance is to be included for benefits calculations, we have to have a system with some teeth. The reason it's not included is because it didn't work when we last tried it. Something would need to change, and nothing has.

[TheRegularShow]

simply it's 4% you get charged it if goes to collect pay and not 2% . It's shocking that resident parents have this charge when NRP decide to not pay and it has to be collected from them direct.

That is punishing the child for having a shitty parent.

[TheRegularShow]

Would I get in trouble for this do you think?
I wouldn't be considering this but I'm getting desperate and struggling financially to raise my son and I'm so fed up as I have no money to take my son anywhere or do anything.

I want to have placards made up and have a mini demo outside my exh house and business .
Just something like 'child support dodger lives here' with an arrow.
I wouldn't shout things just stand there with a placard.
Would I get in trouble for doing that?

[VertigoNun]

Yes probably.

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

I imagine so Register.

There should be a name and shame website for this stuff.