To ask for your help, I have been so stupid....

[Whirlytwos]

I am so upset right now, I am trying not to get teary.

For background, I have 16 month old twins, and a brain tumour, so am under a certain degree of stress.

Basically we moved house 9 months ago into a total 70s timewarp. I so need a kitchen that my DDs can play in safely while I cook, but we have a limited budget. Kitchen needs building work that hopefully will be underway in May. As a kichen centrepiece I wanted a beautiful high end cooker, but planned to buy 2nd hand due to budget.

They don't come up often so I have been waiting for one on ebay. Saw one a couple of weeks ago, priced at £2500, in perfect condition. No-one bought it, so I called the seller on the number in the ebay listing and agreed a sale at £2,250. They had 100% feedback. Transferred funds to his account, booked shipping, and a cooker arrived here on Friday. Note, private sale, no Paypal..... i know, stupid stupid me.

But it's not the one I bought! It's damaged, and it is a dfferent cooker with a dfferent badge! The seller won't return my emails.

I've spoken with his wife a couple of times, and she's tried a few different excuses about the cooker.
Like, it is the one I ordered....But it is clearly different to the ebay pictures.

Then she said I wasn't clear which cooker I wanted, But I was, the ebay item number was the reference I used for bank payment., and there was only one the same colour on ebay anyway.

Now she says the damage happened in transit! I paid for transit. I did pay for insurance.

Huffily she said if I pay to ship it back (another £85), then she'll refund me.

But I don't trust these people now. Can I make them arrange the shipping? What if they claim not to receive it, or say it's damaged in transit and so refuse to refund? That would make things difficult because the shipping contract would be between me and the shipper.

It also turns out they are in business selling high end used catering equipment. But they are not listed as business sellers on ebay, and I paid a personal account, not a business account. As I understand it, posing as a private seller when you're really a business is a criminal offence.

I spoke with the consumer helpline and they said the seller doesn't have to pay for shipping. But if I arrange shipping it puts me at even more risk.

I've been so naive, I am kicking myself. I have felt sick all weekend, and really don't know what to do next. So here I am fretting and porng over the nternet worrying, when I should be spending happy time with my DDs.

Does anyone have advice or know what I should do?

So sorry for the essay.

Have you tried contacting the bank, explain what has happened and if they are able to assist you in any way...recalling the money perhaps I really don't know...just a thought...I am so very sorry this has happened to you....just take a deep breath, wipe your tears and do your very best to try and resolve this...the more you cry, the more these crooks have won!

You can do this!!!! X

I'm sorry but YABU.

eBay warn people time and time again not to go off eBay and deal with the seller correctly.

You have misused the terms of your contract with eBay. They provided a service to you that enabled you to purchase an item from one of their sellers, on the understanding that you would pay the seller and that eBay would take their fees from the seller.

When you and the seller went behind eBay's back, you denied them their cut of the profit.

What you did is illegal, I'm afraid.

Yes, i will try to summon the courage to ask for a bank transfer before he leaves.

What a good idea re the video legotits. I wonder how i can do that covertly? Maybe if i set up my ipad to film from the doorway. I can't exactly thrust a camera in his chops a la rogue traders. Much as i would like to!

I don't have any advice either, just want to wish you luck! Try to be like a dog with a bone about this, don't let up till you get refunded. I think you've had some sound advice so far, something will work. This is totally unfair. Lets home karma gets them in the end!!

Leelu. - what i did was not illegal. Against ebay policy i agree but not illegal.

You seem to be well versed in what you can and can't get away with, so I'll take your word for it.

It doesn't sound illegal! I'm sure eBay wouldn't be pleased but it's not illegal.

Good luck resolving it and make sure he gives you cash. Glad your DH will be home. Ugh.

I think sometimes PayPal can help even if a private payment, so talk to them too.

Sorry my soapbox pops out for scammers and social housing rants!

Absolutely I ipad it, you are videoing your own home so it's better to be extra careful when this wanksock turns up.

Leelu does have a point.

This was all avoidable if you'd just paid ebay its fee.

The payment wasn't made through Paypal.

so the first time you speak to the man, after leaving abusive, sweary messages on his answerphone, he agrees to come and collect the cooker from you and refund you?

how are planning on compensating him for the damage that occurred when you had it moved? have you claimed from the insurance yet?

You really, really need to have the cash in your bank account before he leaves with the cooker. These are scammers. They have scammed you. They will scam you again if you let them.

Good luck.

You have proved to yourself that standing up for your self and your rights work hopefully

You've learned a valuable lesson too about trusting people.

Overall though well done!

GooseberryRoolz the op didn't avoid fees, only sellers pay fees. She is naive, but not criminal.

Well, i know re ebay. However, the auction had ended, no-one had bought the cooker, and i only called the number a couple of days later on the off chance he was going to list it again at a lower price or if he still even had it.

Its not as if i contacted him during the auction duration and agreed an offsite deal and asked him to pull the listing..

But cetainly iwill always use paypal in future. The listing actually said only bank transfer or cash on collection accepted.... That should have been my warning flag in hindsight. Just blinded by the desire to get a family kitchen up and running i guess. Lesson learned.

No, she's not a criminal.

But she DID deliberately wait until the Ebay auction was over and then ring for a keener, private deal. So Leelu wasn't entirely wrong either.

araiba

There is no move damage, they are trying to pull a fast one. The cooker is as received. They said that chipped enamel must have happened in transit, in which case, there would be enamel chips nside the packaging, but i still have the packaging, and there are no chips in there.

Plus there are other faults with the cooker. Inconceivable to imagine they all happened in transit. Its just a knackered old cooker.

Plus i used the courier that THEY reccommended!

I would be tempted to email him something like...

"Thank you for the phone call agreeing to collect the cooker tomorrow as you sent me the wrong one. Please can you arrange for the bank transfer to be done at the same time as collection so that I am not out of pocket any further, as the mix up with you sending me the wrong item was no fault of my own, and I need to now go and order myself a new cooker as soon as possible..."

So at least there's something in writing, and hopefully he may reply to confirm he's collecting...

Good luck... 💐

Sorry didn't see that Gooseberry. My reading comprehension is rubbish today. I've lost some of my sympathy in that case.

That's a good idea Jennifer!

An email would leave a "paper trail" so that if things go tits up tomorrow there is at least somthing dated befor the pick up was due.

Also araiba before leaving my one "fuck" on his voicemail, i had emailed the man 3 times, starting friday, and spoken to his wife twice, once on friday, once today. But it took 8 calls to speak to her twice, as she kept hanging up on me, then making excuses.

It was only later today that i got shirty in that one voicemail as it became clear they were deliberately messing me around, not responding to email, and hanging up phone immediately etc. Otherwise i have been very patient and nice as could be as i have always felt its easier to get things resolved that way.

Send him an email saying you want the cash first.

Well done op!
Now you just need to make sure you get the money, and all of it .
I second a pp suggestion that you ask for the bank transfer to be done within your presence.
Maybe convince dh to be a police officer on his day off ( might scare the shit out of him )
Sounds like you've got to reduce yourself to any tactics possible, please do update us and the very best of luck.
I honestly think it would be a good idea to have as much " back up" as possible, just in case. Karma :)

I would take cash off him....as long as you check the notes carefully you will be fine.....otherwise i think he will take the cooker and promise you he will transfer the cash as soon as he gets home.....the refund never appears and now you have no money and no cooker.....I'm not even convinced he will turn up to collect the cooker at all x