Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your help, I have been so stupid....

148 replies

Whirlytwos · 21/03/2016 13:28

I am so upset right now, I am trying not to get teary.

For background, I have 16 month old twins, and a brain tumour, so am under a certain degree of stress.

Basically we moved house 9 months ago into a total 70s timewarp. I so need a kitchen that my DDs can play in safely while I cook, but we have a limited budget. Kitchen needs building work that hopefully will be underway in May. As a kichen centrepiece I wanted a beautiful high end cooker, but planned to buy 2nd hand due to budget.

They don't come up often so I have been waiting for one on ebay. Saw one a couple of weeks ago, priced at £2500, in perfect condition. No-one bought it, so I called the seller on the number in the ebay listing and agreed a sale at £2,250. They had 100% feedback. Transferred funds to his account, booked shipping, and a cooker arrived here on Friday. Note, private sale, no Paypal..... i know, stupid stupid me.

But it's not the one I bought! It's damaged, and it is a dfferent cooker with a dfferent badge! The seller won't return my emails.

I've spoken with his wife a couple of times, and she's tried a few different excuses about the cooker.
Like, it is the one I ordered....But it is clearly different to the ebay pictures.

Then she said I wasn't clear which cooker I wanted, But I was, the ebay item number was the reference I used for bank payment., and there was only one the same colour on ebay anyway.

Now she says the damage happened in transit! I paid for transit. I did pay for insurance.

Huffily she said if I pay to ship it back (another £85), then she'll refund me.

But I don't trust these people now. Can I make them arrange the shipping? What if they claim not to receive it, or say it's damaged in transit and so refuse to refund? That would make things difficult because the shipping contract would be between me and the shipper.

It also turns out they are in business selling high end used catering equipment. But they are not listed as business sellers on ebay, and I paid a personal account, not a business account. As I understand it, posing as a private seller when you're really a business is a criminal offence.

I spoke with the consumer helpline and they said the seller doesn't have to pay for shipping. But if I arrange shipping it puts me at even more risk.

I've been so naive, I am kicking myself. I have felt sick all weekend, and really don't know what to do next. So here I am fretting and porng over the nternet worrying, when I should be spending happy time with my DDs.

Does anyone have advice or know what I should do?

So sorry for the essay.

OP posts:
GooseberryRoolz · 21/03/2016 14:46

I love a good reverse, myself Smile

LaConnerie · 21/03/2016 14:47

I would say it's worth joining Facebook just to be able to add a few choice posts to their page....

MadamDeathstare · 21/03/2016 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tartyflette · 21/03/2016 14:53

Also don't forget to leave a Negative on thr ebay feedback. Sellers do not like that one bit.

GooseberryRoolz · 21/03/2016 15:00

She won't even be able to do that Tarty; she didn't make an ebay purchase so the option won't be there.

Theambler · 21/03/2016 15:11

lurking and laconnerie. Its been years since I used facebook. How would i use it to my advantage if i rejoined? I never used it much even years ago, so not sure what i could do. I do remember a "wall" you can write on. But can't they just delete whatever i write?

akkakk they are in business, no doubt about it. Just not a business seller on ebay and gave me a personal bank account for payment. Their business is selling and renting expensive catering equipment.

On that note, does anyone know if its possible that a bank account with the name "Mr A. Crook" could be a legitimate business account for a limited company registered at companies house called "DodgyCookers4U"? Both examples obviously!

The bank can't tell me if the account i paid to is business or personal. But i didn't think a limited company account could have the directors personal name.

madamdeathstare. Thanks. Got screenshots and print outs of the ebay advert showing item number which corresponds to my bank payment reference.

Theambler · 21/03/2016 15:17

Gah.... Ruddy namechange fail again. I am an utter twonk, its official.

Sunnyshores · 21/03/2016 15:23

take screenshots of the facebook page and of the ebay sellers site, his recent sales/feedback etc. It could prove the amount of business he's doing.

You would ususally have a bank account in the name of the company - but it snt necessary. This is itself wont prove dodginess!

Buddahbelly · 21/03/2016 15:25

As others have said Ii would send an email stating that if you don't hear from them within a reasonable amount of time (maybe 48 hours), You have already gained legal advice and will forge ahead with what your solicitor has advised which is to notify HMRC, Trading standards & Police with all bank details / payments going in, all details and pictures from ebay, full printouts with dates etc... Obviously gather as much evidence as you can before you send this email

Then to start a small claims process, think this only costs £25 so obviously worth doing anyway, this might be enough to scare them but if not spending £25 is better than spending £85 to return something you may get nothing from.

Hope you get it sorted soon though, I hate the feeling i've been ripped off in anyway, but sometimes the fury is enough to get me going and not stop till I get the money back or goods ive paid for. Hope you get back what is rightfully yours though.

MaidOfStars · 21/03/2016 15:31

Hmrc is a very good idea. But Not sure how I play that one without resorting to some form of threat

Resorting to a threat is EXACTLY what you need to do.

LurkingHusband · 21/03/2016 15:36

gave me a personal bank account for payment

It wouldn't do any harm to let the bank know this. They might be a tad unhappy if a personal account is being used for commercial trading as they won't have been able to charge fees for it ...

19lottie82 · 21/03/2016 15:46

eBay won't step in on this one as you don't pay via PayPal, however If you still don't get anywhere with the seller, then I'd send them a letter before action re the small claims court.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/03/2016 15:48

Oh OP what a nightmare for you

And I think you might be rather underselling the amount of stress you're under in your OP. I do so wish you well in getting better Thanks

Have you contacted trading standards yourself? Not sure what the consumer group you refer to is.

Theambler · 21/03/2016 15:49

Well, i just lost it. I am so overwhelmed with the girls and my tumour that i just called on a different number that i found on their business facebook page.

It went to vm and i left a message. I said i assumed they weren't responding to me coz they didnt want to. I said they had better listen as they had committed a criminal act, and that if they didnt get back to me within 24 hours i'd be going to the police, hmrc and trading standards.

I said not to fuck me about, and i would time the 24 hours from when i left the message.

Have i just completely fucked it all up?

I just want this sorted so i can go back for my next neurosurgeon appt at the beginning of april with no other life stresses. I know the neurosurgeon is going to explain treatment options and i need to be clued up about different radiotherapy types before i go so i can make decisions.

shazzarooney99 · 21/03/2016 16:07

I think youve done the right thing, they will probably shit it and hopefully give you a refund xxx hope you get better soon xxxx

Theambler · 21/03/2016 16:10

Oh god... He just called back! He was really angry, supposedly because i said the word "fuck" and he listened to my voicemail on loudspeaker in front of his kids Hmm

He said he'd come and collect it tomorrow, and providing it was in the same condition, he'd refund me. Good news!

Now just need to worry about him pulling a fast one and blaming the condition on me.

shazzarooney99 · 21/03/2016 16:11

So hes shitting his pants, i think he will pick it up.

legotits · 21/03/2016 16:14

I would turn up at their front door!

I honestly would, the cheeky twats.

Please note I have never had a single fight in my life and if I did turn up at their door I would likely just sob quietly and shake my fist

I hate that people just find a scam these days Angry

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/03/2016 16:17

God people can be horrible can't they? That's the thing with conmen and thieves, they don't care.

They don't even imagine the people they hurt are actual people, just money bags.

You are not a twonk! You're a lovely person going through a very rubbish time and it's amazing you are holding your head above water. Don't berate yourself too much for this, it's not your fault Flowers

LimpidPools · 21/03/2016 16:19

Do you know anybody tough and level headed who can be at home with you tomorrow OP?

Just he sounds the type to try and intimidate a woman on her own with 2 small children.

And don't let him load the cooker till you've got the cash in your hand. All of it. And for goodness sake don't accept a cheque. Just cold, hard cash all the way.

MaidOfStars · 21/03/2016 16:24

^Agree with Limpid - have someone with you, if you can preferably a massive bloke

Theambler · 21/03/2016 16:25

Thankyou all. You are making me feel much better, i am not shaking as much as i was after i had the phonecalls.

DH works from home so he's here tomorrow. He's very level headed.

I dont think dodgy cooker man is going to turn up with a wodge of cash, and at this point i'd worry it was fake bills!

I thought about asking him to do a bank transfer before he leaves with the cooker, but maybe that's too rude. God, i sound so spineless! Perhaps him signing a receipt for the cooker is enough? That is what i'd kind of settled on in my head.

hefzi · 21/03/2016 16:27

Sorry this has happened to you, OP. As PP have suggested, if he doesn't show up tomorrow/doesn't bring the cash etc, send him a letter before action by signed for post, and open a small claims case against him at moneyclaim online. Also, speak with CAB, as they can refer him to Trading Standards (unfortunately, consumers can't do this for themselves any more) - and I'd also report him to action fraud (it won't do anything to help you in all likelihood, but if he's tried this before/does it again, it may be his undoing) and I'd also flag him up to HMRC, because I'm nice like that.

I wouldn't report him to eBay for an off eBay deal, as you have (albeit unrealisingly) also been party to that, which could potentially see you also being warned/banned if he is.

Hope it all works out for you Flowers

legotits · 21/03/2016 16:27

Get DP to video the fuckers.

hefzi · 21/03/2016 16:28

Oh - and ask him to do an online bank transfer when he's with you? (I agree about not taking cash from such a dodgy punter!) I don't think that's rude after what he's put you through!