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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask when you lost your virginity?

255 replies

TwentyCupsOfTea · 20/03/2016 23:31

The 'which song' thread has got me thinking... I was 15, how old were you?Grin

OP posts:
RiceBurner · 21/03/2016 12:42

20 at uni to a (nice) long-term bf (his 1st time also) I had met there, which was exactly how I wanted it to happen to me ie quietly, with someone I liked who was both responsible and respectful.

My decision as I recall, after I had decided that 20 was old enough! Also, I was very curious about what sex was like.

Sadly for me, it wasn't anywhere near as good as I had expected it to be, so I was left quite disappointed by the whole thing. But I loved him, so we carried on for a few yrs after that. (Then we both moved on without any regrets.)

I did gradually realise later on (after a few more bfs) that sex probably wasn't/still isn't really my 'thing' as it wasn't getting much better for me. (So I probably shouldn't be blaming my partners!)

I always liked being in a good relationship, and I liked the intimacy. (Just not the sex act itself.) So a bit of a balancing act on the sex front.

Wish I found sex more fun, (as most on here seem to really enjoy it so much), and hoped it would eventually get better for me, but we are all a bit different and maybe we shouldn't compare ourselves too much? (Cos I think that's just how I am. And can't change it.)

I currently have a very kind, loving DH, and nice (adult) kids, so it's all good on that front. Plus I have never had a 'bad' sexual experience ... with anyone. So, overall, I feel lucky with my sex life to date, even though sex itself has (usually) always been a bit boring for me.

We build sex up so much these days so I do have some envy for those who love it, but I reckon it's not always good for everyone. (And certainly not always great for most people all the time?!) So we should be more realistic about what is possible for ourselves, and just try to get pleasure from life whenever and wherever we can?

In retrospect, I wouldn't change when and where and with whom I first had sex. But admit that people with a higher sex drive than me might have found it hard to wait till 20!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 21/03/2016 12:44

Can I agree with the pp that I also don't think I lost anything? I did something for the first time,it wasn't a loss.

ProfessorPickles · 21/03/2016 13:29

Boy - of course you can, that's exactly how I feel. There's no loss, just an experience.
I think people place too much pressure on losing your virginity like its some magical life changing moment when really for most it's just "that was alright" then you carry on with your life

AbelMancwitch · 21/03/2016 13:32

17 and a half. It was a hoot. We're still friends Smile

Katedotness1963 · 21/03/2016 13:38

About 19/20 to my now husband. We've been married over 30 years.

BillBrysonsBeard · 21/03/2016 14:30

23 to my DP who I am still with now at 31. Took 9 months before we did it too, poor guy! Grin His patience made me love him more and it meant we became really close friends too..

I was so ready for sex years earlier but I was overweight and resisted the advances I got, then I lost the weight at 20 and got lots of attention but was too embarrassed about being a virgin at that age so I kept resisting! Men said I oozed sex so I felt I couldn't live up to what they thought I was. It seems silly now, I was still so young.. Now I've had sex, I know it only takes minutes to learn what to do as it comes naturally so I shouldn't have been so scared about being crap. I sometimes wish I had said "Yes" to some lovely men and sown my oats but then I would never have gone down the path that meant I met my DP and had our gorgeous son.

IkeaTetris · 21/03/2016 14:34

16 to my 'boyfriend' at the time who was 32 years old. I massively regret it.

whois · 21/03/2016 14:36

With a guy at uni. I knew it wasn't anything special but felt like I just wanted to have sex and get the 'first time' thing out of the way.

No regrets, he was a nice boy. We are still friends now.

DieDeutschLehrerin · 21/03/2016 14:37

22 to my now DH. His first also. We'd been together for 3 months. I knew we would certainly be together for a very long time, although I was already banking on forever, so it seemed like a very safe and happy thing to do. No regrets.

HackerFucker22 · 21/03/2016 14:40
  1. We were childhood sweethearts we waited 2 years to have sex

Things fizzled out when I went to uni but we bumped into each other when we older and within a month had moved in together... we're a decade, 3 houses, 2 kids and a cat down the line.

roundmyway · 21/03/2016 14:45

Just shy of 14,
That's fucking rank.
Saving grace it was that bad it put me off & I was 15 before I did it again.
Bathroom floor, New Year's Eve,
Barely remember it just he reeked of cheese & onion crisps.
My life has just been a dream since the get go sigh

NetballHoop · 21/03/2016 14:46

18 at Uni. It was OK, but not earth shattering.

We stayed together for another year or so before things fizzled out. He works in IT now, not that I've cyber-stalked him (much).

SprinkleBlushes · 21/03/2016 14:59
  1. It was to a boy that I'd been seeing for a week since we'd started college. He'd only had sex once before but I felt like he was so much more experienced than me and I wanted to get it over with. There was no pressure and it wasn't great but we continued to practice for a further 18 months and it got a lot better.

We eventually separated when I got pregnant and although he supported me through a termination our relationship just wasn't strong enough to survive the aftermath. We're still on good terms now and I have no regrets.

GreatFuckability · 21/03/2016 14:59

14

WoodliceCollection · 21/03/2016 15:02

Last night, somewhere down the back of the sofa.

No, wait, that was the telly remote.

Zennyboy · 21/03/2016 15:33

13 Sad he was a singer in a rock band and much older.

livsmommy · 21/03/2016 15:59

16.5 to my first boyfriend who I absolutely adored....we are fb friends now and I wonder what the hell was I thinking! Don't regret it though. And despite what my friends told me, I did get pregnant the very first time Blush

EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife · 21/03/2016 16:05

14...and still together 10 years later Smile

GreenGlassLove · 21/03/2016 16:06

20, to my now DH.

ColinFirthsGirth · 21/03/2016 16:06

22 on my wedding night.

heron98 · 21/03/2016 16:08

I was 23.

Bit old really.

I'm 34 now and have only slept with three people.

LikeSilver · 21/03/2016 16:13
  1. He was 16, each other's first.
PrimalLass · 21/03/2016 16:21
  1. Zero regrets.
stumblymonkey · 21/03/2016 16:27

A ONS at a party which I initiated and I decided was going to be a ONS only.

I feel sorry for the 15 year old boy who I used...he tried to hold my hand the next day and I was very sneery about it.

I never considered my 'virginity' as anything special or as something that was 'lost'. I had no hang ups about sex in that way. However it's a shame I wasn't a bit nicer to the boy!

Sgtmajormummy · 21/03/2016 16:37

17, to a complete stranger. We were consenting, safe and he was extremely sweet when he realised it was my first time.
We cuddled for a while and parted with a smile and a hug.
No regrets. The time was right.

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