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Original poster

Encouraging my 6 year old to believe in Santa and Elfs and magical things?

58 replies

Agadooo · 19/03/2016 23:31

My 6 year old DS believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and likes stories like The Faraway tree and The Wishing chair and last week he discovered a secret door in his bedroom-(the kind you can buy and put on the skirting board) and I like to encourage it all -One of my friends thinks he's getting too old for it and maybe I shouldn't encourage him with things like the door-a few of the boys at school seem much older and are quite serious boys -should I stop?

OP posts:
ArmfulOfRoses · 19/03/2016 23:34

I'm not sure I would be quite so proactive in my encouragement of his beliefs, but a 6yo isn't too old to believe in a little magic.
That's a really sad notion.

AgentZigzag · 19/03/2016 23:35

He'll let you know when he's too old for it I'm sure OP.

Let him be a little lad while he can.

What did you say to your friend?

ABitSensible · 19/03/2016 23:36

When it is time to let it all go, you can explain to him its a traditional game grown ups play to make childhood more fun for kids. We all go through it, none of us are scarred.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 19/03/2016 23:36

I don't know whether I'd be proactively encouraging it, but wouldn't be discouraging it either.

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2016 23:39

I'd stop doing things to prolong his belief in elves etc and just let him discover it isn't real on his own. No need to discourage, just encourage him to ask questions.

ArmfulOfRoses · 19/03/2016 23:39

Just to clarify, I would absolutely keep up with the books, but hiding fairy doors in his room...I don't know.

Take him to bewilderwood.
It'll blow his mind Grin

Original poster
Agadooo · 19/03/2016 23:43

Oh-feeling a bit bad (and sad) now-maybe I shouldn't encourage with the door but I just knew he'd love it -ok I shall try and stop-i told my friend that it made him happy and if u can't believe at 6 then that seems really sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Agadooo · 19/03/2016 23:44

Off to google bewilderwood!

OP posts:
Ineedtimeoff · 19/03/2016 23:47

6 is still very young. my DD still believes in fairies and elves, santa, unicorns etc
Magic Faraway Tree and Wishing Chair they have just read in school. All appropriate things for his age. No need to discourage it our stop it yet OP.

I'm not quite sure why you have received the replies you have. Is it because he is a boy??? That makes no sense... Confused

luckySwallow13 · 19/03/2016 23:48

Aww he's only 6! Keep the door if it makes him happy. He'll learn in his own time . My mum used to write me letters from the tooth fairy. And I might of been nearly 10! Hah it didn't do me any harm when I realised there was no such thing . I actually appreciate what she done . :) I loved faraway tree and magic too !

chunkymum1 · 19/03/2016 23:48

I second Bewilderwood! I'm a cynical old thing and have DC older than your DS but we all loved it and totally bought in to the magic. Although I suspect DC1 (11) is humouring us.

I say let him enjoy the magic whilst he can. I'm sure he'll let you know when he's outgrown it

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2016 23:49

I'm not quite sure why you have received the replies you have. Is it because he is a boy??? That makes no sense...

I'm a science teacher. I'd have given exactly the same advice whether the child was a boy or a girl.

WorraLiberty · 19/03/2016 23:55

Ahh I used to love all this.

My kids 'believed' in leprechauns for years and I could always tell they didn't actually believe they were an actual fact of life...they just enjoyed the excitement and mystery of playing along with it all.

Kids are smarter than you think. Some people on MN will have you believe that 'telling lies' to your kids will have them banged up in prison before their 18th birthday.

Others will tell you to relax and enjoy the fun while they're young enough to take part in it all.

My kids are 24, nearly 17 and 13. They still have very fond memories of finding the ornamental leprechauns in all sorts of weird places, doing all sorts of funny things.

In fact I think I might have invented 'Elf on a shelf' but some bastard made it into a Christmas thing and took the credit Shock Wink

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 20/03/2016 00:06

My 9 year old son is really excited by the fairy woods easter egg hunt, who cares if it is really the eggs he is looking forward to, it is still fun.

chunkymum1 · 20/03/2016 00:07

Worra. Totally agree. An elderly relative used to place sweets in shiny wrappers (not sure what they were) amongst her ornaments when we visited and told us that the faries lived there and must have left them for us. She told us stories of the trouble the young faries had got up to etc. Even when we clearly all knew that it was make believe we loved playing along and it made visits to her much more interesting than the other aunties.

WorraLiberty · 20/03/2016 00:30

That sounds wonderful chunkymum

I find that sort of thing so fascinating even as an adult. Just lovely fond memories of my childhood that I wanted my kids to experience too.

I don't think I or my kids ever truly believed, we just loved the thought that it might be true, because we wanted it to be if that makes sense Grin

2Offwhitecurtains · 20/03/2016 00:36

The best way of dealing with it is 'I don't know whether they exist'

VoldysGoneMouldy · 20/03/2016 01:17

Of course it's not because he's a boy - what a silly thing to say.

At six, they might still be young, but if it's causing an issue relating with other children at school - which the OP suggests it might be - or is causing them to act significantly younger than their peers, then it needs to be dialed back. That doesn't mean you sit them down and say, "THE WORLD IS HORRIBLE AND AWFUL AND THERE IS NO FUN IN IT", but to ease off somewhat with encouraging the thoughts of magic and fairies.

AzuremystBrandy · 20/03/2016 01:27

My mum always made my childhood feel so magical with stuff like this. I had letters from Santa and made some little beds out of matchsticks for The Borrowers, truly believing they were living in the loft. Kids aren't kids for long, let them enjoy a bit of magic before they grow up. I don't know why anyone thinks such beliefs should be discouraged in a 6 year old. They are my fondest memories from childhood. It sounds like you're doing a great job!

curren · 20/03/2016 06:52

Op you are doing fine.

We did similar with dd. She remembers fun and magic. She is 12. She doesn't believe in Santa or fairies anymore. But loved that we played along with her. We had a secret door.

Ds is a more logical, he reminds me of Sheldon cooper. He was four at Christmas and questioned the whole Santa thing. Not much but enough to know it won't be long before he doesn't believe.

This Christmas was lovely. Dd helped wrap ds presents, put mince pies and carrots out with ds. Filled his stocking and hung it in his bed. She was part of making the magic for ds. She loved it. She teared up Christmas morning at the look on his face when he realised 'Santa had been.'

I grew up in a house where mum encouraged stuff like this. We only have good memories. I don't feel lied to, cheated or misled.

Personally I think it's a case of follow the child. Occasionally with some kids they do get very old and may need a conversation about it. But most realise in their own.

FellOutOfBedTwice · 20/03/2016 07:01

Another one saying let him be a little boy for a while longer... He's six! I definitely believed in Father Christmas until I was at least eight and part of childhood is this kind of thing and continuing with it for younger siblings when you're w bit older and know it's not true. It's just a little bit of magic in an otherwise fairy dust free world (and I say that as someone who is far from whimsical!)

fourage · 20/03/2016 07:04

Some parents encourage a belief in god, another mythical being.

Mousefinkle · 20/03/2016 07:08

I'm quite a logical thinker and explain things in a way my DC would understand but also use logical terms and never shy away from the truth (ok so I drew a line at going into the ins and outs of sex when the "where do babies come from?" Question came up BUT they're from a woman's uterus not tummy and I did go into the fact the woman has to push the baby out like a great big poo Grin) They're 6, 4 and 3. But even I have an imagination and encourage them to keep theirs going as long as possible. It's an essential part of childhood IMO and robbing them of it is really quite cruel.

It's quite funny though because I go down the Santa Claus and tooth fairy route but I've never pushed the idea of the Easter bunny. Also DC have been learning about Jesus in school and I've firmly explained he's a story too, like captain underpants to which my six year old asked if some people believe captain underpants is real too. I said probably but they'd get locked up for it Grin.

Think of how many years out of your entire life span are as a child. It should be as magical, imaginative and innocent as possible.

suchafuss · 20/03/2016 07:09

My daughter was terrified when we put a fairy door in her room! Saying it was a portal to another world. Elf on the shelf was the same. Cost me £30 and although she asked me for it, when it arrived she begged me to get rid if it. Not all children are the same.

RabbitSaysWoof · 20/03/2016 07:12

I think I'm in the minority but we never had any magic when we were children, even Santa was just Santa there was no mention of magic powers. I don't have any for ds either, we have traditions that are fun and absolutely geared towards dc and socialising sometimes with little gifts, but no made up characters it would feel a bit forced.
One of my friends likes to cover everything in glitter and magic for her dd's, I've never said anything to her but I wonder what she thinks they would be missing out on if they enjoyed these things without all the made up crap. I just don't get it all.