To think my children would be better raised by me

[kidscomefirstendof]

AIBU to think my children will be better off being raised by me, without a load of boyfriends, stepdads, and so on?

I feel it will be more stable for them to have one adult than someone who they don't even know living in their space?

Jesus that's offensive as fuck and you should apologize

"Why is deciding you don't want to be in a relationship making yourself a martyr?"

I'd say it isn't, necessarily. But if you want to be in a relationship but decide to deny yourself that because you have children, that does look a bit martyr-ish to me.

I don't, SDT, I don't feel the need for a relationship and honestly don't feel it's going to be in any way detrimental when life moves on :)

Do you live your entire life doing everything by extremes, OP?

Sounds like incredibly hard work.

No, our, I wouldn't describe myself like that.

Do I need to prove my dcs are "enough" for me by ditching their father? That would give me more time for them surely without a pesky dh in the way.

And you're being extremely rude to call for not making the same decisions as you.

Fine. Don't date. It's not essential and you're a grown up who can presumably make sensible choices.

Don't go deciding that anyone who does date doesn't love their kids enough, though. That's just plain churlish.

But the other version which seems to be more common is split with children's father and two days later join a dating site

What I'd be more concerned about op is the deeply misoginistic view that it looks like your going to be passing on your kids. Your posts are the most judgey on here and I don't think it's healthy for a mother/woman to have the view that basically if you seperate you must stay celibate unless you have some fantasy Hollywood film romance.

Life just isn't like that and I hope you don't pass those feeling on to your kids

OP is trolling you Call.

Time to go

I get the feeling that op has been incredibly hurt and this reaction is a control thing.

I'm not trolling, Arpege, holding a view that goes against the majority is not trolling.

I don't doubt for a moment you love your children call, but you did push me to answer and I gave you what my honest interpretation is and I did add that if it was wrong I was sorry. But you have given me an impression, on here, that sex and relationships are your priority. Trust me I am pleased that isn't right, if it isn't.

OP comes across as a man who thinks women should remain pure.

I get the impression that the OP is a narrow minded, smug judgy bitch

But that might just be me....

Well I disagree OP. There are definitely children who are damaged by stepparents or new partners. But I don't think that means it is therefore better for children never to have a stepparent. After all, there are plenty of children damaged by their own parents, we don't think it is better for children not to have parents. The difference is that a child will wish away the stepparent more than the parent.

Shrugging off being a bitch as "honest" is childish in the extreme

I am definitely female :)

Arpege, maybe my views are bitchy but they are also what I honestly believe. I have had views chucked my way like 'martyr, not modelling healthy relationships, growing old/bitter' so it does go both ways.

Gently it's true what you say, but I think what makes me sad about many cases is that children start life as a much wanted baby and then get discarded.

Discarded by who???

The men who walk out on them, not the women who fucking raise them!!!

It's not always the woman who is at fault Arpege. I am definitely not someone who will say that. It was my dad who moved a stepparent in actually

You sound very narrow-minded.