To think my children would be better raised by me

[kidscomefirstendof]

AIBU to think my children will be better off being raised by me, without a load of boyfriends, stepdads, and so on?

I feel it will be more stable for them to have one adult than someone who they don't even know living in their space?

It makes me really mad when I see so many threads (been a few in the last 6 months) on how having step parents in childrens lives messed them up / how selfish a mum is.

I've just spent the afternoon baking with my dd for her show and tell tomorrow while DP took pictures and then spent time with her making them into a presentation. They're now cuddled up watching a film while i cook dinner - it's so horrible - I feel so bad for traumatising her with this life!

No one suggests 2 parents are a bad thing (not that they're the only ok way) so why should a parent and a step parent be as long as it's the right one.

OP how old are your children and what involvement does their dad have?

In my opinion, it's fine to be single as a lone parent, it find to be in a relationship, it's fine to date. Being the birth parents and being together in an unhappy relationship can be much more damaging to a child than having a great step parent. Everything
is individual to each family. There's no one size fits all.

I don't think anyone would advocate a revolving door of casual partners in a child's life.

Being single does not equal lonely. Some lone parents who choose this path in a misguided attempt to be everything for their children do often find themselves in a position where they are a burden on their children in their adult lives as most people are in relationships. Christmas and all important events become a source of guilt to the child if they don't spend it with their parent.

Make the decision to be alone for yourself because that's what you want and not as some kind of martyrdom for your children, then fine and don't judge anyone else's choices.

You are projecting because of your past. Your experience is your own and you don't speak for all families or all children.

But Dixie - her dh could have died when she was 75 and she'd risk being lonely for the next 20 years... Women tend to live longer than men and are more likely to marry an older man than a younger man. Why is she more at risk of being lonely because she has got used to being single from a young age than she would be if she'd had a long, happy marriage before losing her husband in old age?? Either she has already been lonely for years or she hasn't - why the worry about her being lonely if she hasn't said she has been lonely all that time herself?