To think my children would be better raised by me

[kidscomefirstendof]

AIBU to think my children will be better off being raised by me, without a load of boyfriends, stepdads, and so on?

I feel it will be more stable for them to have one adult than someone who they don't even know living in their space?

That's no where implying lacking.

Well, I can see we aren't going to agree so will wish you well :)

But I do feel a lot of children are sidelined in order for their parents new relationships to develop. - why do you think you'd do that if you were dating someone? Do you think you aren't able to put your DCs needs first, if you were also having a relationship with someone?

Choco someone saying a woman who presumably raises children, works, has friends and hobbies yet has 'no life', well how would you interpret it?

Because I feel I probably am closed minded on this issue at any rate, but I don't think I'm the only one and some seem fixated as a relationship being the only road to happiness and fulfilment.

"I am so controversial"

No, it's a common enough viewpoint. But most people realise they are making a choice for themselves, and don't seek to set up blanket rules for everyone else.

Some parents are abusive, neglectful, or have a variety of failings.

But that's really not good grounds to berate normal, conscientious parents for doing normal things in their adult relationships.

That's nice of you call and should you read that as insincere it isn't.

Thank you trollo I don't wish you set up blanket rules for everyone but by the same token I wish people would let me live my life in the (honestly!) unremarkable way I wish to!

You're nowhere near well balanced mate. But you won't see it.

End of. - that's a great indicator as to the measure of things too.

#NotGood

Were you abused? Is that it?

Hissy I can assure you I am and feel you are the one being goady, not me. Asking if I was abused is a pretty awful thing to say even if you do disagree: I disagree with many things on here I read but that's too much.

Why? It was a genuine question.

It would actually explain a lot about your position

Is being an abuse victim an insult then?

Seriously? How long have you been on mumsnet?

"I think you can be happy and fulfilled without a partner, I honestly do."

Of course you can - I don't think anyone has said that you can't. But equally, you can be happy and fulfilled with a partner AND happy, well-adjusted children!

"...numerous posts on here strongly imply that a woman without a man has no life."

And my overall impression from your posts, kidscome is that you think most, if not all, single mums who have relationships are neglecting their children and are bad mothers.

I wish you all the best..

You're not going to get what you need here.

I don't have an issue with you call, we had a strong disagreement believe me I don't come on here with the aim of upsetting someone but the question was asked and it moved the discussion from the general to the specific if you like.

I in fact have said very little about single mums most of my ire is about single dads as IME these are the ones who soon sideline their children fon their new relationships but there are women like this as well of course. And I definitely don't think bad mother but i do think a lot of parents of both sexes underestimate how traumatic someone stepping into the mum or dad spot can be.

Hissy you are the one trolling and trying to cause trouble not me.

"Thank you trollo I don't wish you set up blanket rules for everyone but by the same token I wish people would let me live my life in the (honestly!) unremarkable way I wish to!"

And if you had asked "AIBU to wish people would respect my choice not to bring a man into mine and my children's lives" I would have answered with a resounding "YANBU - it's your choice and as long as you are happy, that's what matters" - but that would also be my reaction to Callitdelta, were she to ask me if she were being unreasonable.

You want to be respected for your lifestyle choice, but don't seem to want to afford others the SAME respect!

Come on callit lets trot off to the Emotional Abuse threads and point out how insulting it is to be a victim...

Watch out for the shark as you jump it eh Op?

I've said that was the impression I had call, it's the impression on this thread and to be fair you have mentioned sex ('shagging') so many many times, that yes honestly it did sound like that was your priority and you pushed me to answer that. Its unfair to then berate me for answering especially when I have added an apology if I'm wrong.

It's like - do you think it is red or green?
Red
How dare you apologise now, it is green.

But the beauty of the Internet is we are all anonymous, and you should not be bothered by a brief passing impression!