To ask if you would find it odd

[Dontknowwhy2]

Two siblings both mid/late 30s having never had a relationship, not even a casual boyfriend or girlfriend?

[lulucappuccino]

So, why are you giving up? Why presume you're not going to meet someone?

[Sandinmytoes]

You're talking like your life is over
You're not even 40!

It's not odd, sometimes you just don't meet the right people for a million different reasons.
I didn't meet Dh til late 30's.
My sister hasn't met anyone.
There's nothing wrong

[Dontknowwhy2]

It is over, but don't worry :)

[lulucappuccino]

Are you unwell, OP? Why is your life over?

[Purplepicnic]

You're contradicting yourself all over the place and being cryptic with it. Are you OK?

[Queenie73]

MrQ was 41 when he had his first girlfriend. We've been married for 22 years.
Previously he had been too busy working, caring for sick relatives and (probably) drinking. He is very religious too, but mostly I think he just couldn't be bothered.

[bilbodog]

OP I was unmarried at 34 and had never had a proper relationship and decided that was it and I would just concentrate on me and my career and give up the idea of ever meeting anyone. 2 years later I was happily married and went on to have 2 children. I've never understood why nobody was ever interested in me throughout my 20s but that is how it was. I can only suggest enjoy getting on with your life. Do a job you enjoy, live somewhere you like and it still might happen.

[Dontknowwhy2]

No, I'm fine, it's just the reality that I will live a very lonely life and that's hard.

I know people mean well but I'm not going to meet anyone, if I didn't meet someone when I tried I definitely won't when I'm not trying and plus I am older now. I'm mostly at peace with it but I feel my life is pointless and I wish I was not alive. But I am.

[JamesBlonde1]

Odd means unusual. This is unusual, ergo it is odd.

But it's fine to be odd. But it is certainly odd. I call a spade a shovel.

No relationship AT ALL by the time they're nearing middle age?

[lulucappuccino]

Having a partner doesn't equal a meaningful existence. Don't feel like that, op.

[Dontknowwhy2]

Unfortunately it does mean much is closed to me.

[pigeonpoo]

It's usually when you stop wanting things that they appear, annoyingly

So it's entirely possible you will meet someone easier now you've stopped trying

But it sounds like the right thing to do is let go of wanting it now, since that's making you feel sad

What would give you purpose?

[ijustwannadance]

The thing is, it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. If you truly are stuck in that mindset, your situation won't change.

Do you want a relationship or just children? As you can have one without the other.

[JamesBlonde1]

Can I also add that for me personally, if I was to start a new relationship I would not be put off that the new boyfriend had not previously had a relationship. I'd pry as to why not mind you.

In comparison I'd run a mile from a bloke who had shagged half the town. Not attractive at all. Wouldn't trust him not to have been (and his women) spreading diseases.

Not relevant though as I'm happily married.

[Dontknowwhy2]

Thing is I can 'answer' all these points, put simply whether I want it or not, look for it or not, it doesn't happen. And I would like to know why.

[ijustwannadance]

Again, we can't answer that as we don't know you.

[bringbacksideburns]

It's very sad you are talking like it's all over for you when you are so young!!
Not everyone meets someone they click with enough to have a relationship with and I'm sure you're not alone. My brother had a couple of girlfriends years ago but is on his own. He is lovely with lots to offer. Very kind and caring. But he doesn't put himself out there, do the online dating thing etc

[JanetOfTheApes]

Well yes, I'd find it odd. But none of my business.

If you're wondering why it never happens, well, its not something that just happens, passively, to you. You have to, at the very least, be open to other peoples overtures, or at best proactively looking. If you are neither then it will never happen.

[Dontknowwhy2]

Yes, but even when I was looking it didn't happen. Nor for my brother. It's sad really.

[bringbacksideburns]

Posted too soon. Maybe it's just best to make your life as full and happy as you can. For you and no one else. Make time to do the things you enjoy, hobbies, travelling, activities etc and sometimes when you aren't looking great things can happen. Good friends help.

[pigeonpoo]

Who knows why. It just doesn't happen for some people

Some people have higher standards than others - could be men sniffed round you and you had reasons it couldn't go anywhere whereas other women had lower or different standards. Some people have the ability to accept less than others and be happy

Some peoples relationship skills don't develop as far as needed for one due to their own childhood experiences

Some people are socially awkward

There's an endless list of possible reasons, what do you think could be the reason?

[Dontknowwhy2]

I think for me it's my appearance but my brother is quite nice looking so that doesn't correlate.

[ApocalypseSlough]

We don't know you Dont so we can't tell you why. It's probably not obvious more like you're giving off an 'I'm ok and not interested' vibe.
Can you ask someone who knows you? What's your brothers take on it?

[Jw35]

Op you sound bewildered by your own circumstances. It's as if relationships should just come along like in the movies! They don't, you have to get out there and socialise with the opposite sex, flirt with people you like and be open to the possibility.

To me you seem a bit depressed. Life isn't over unless you want it to be, you're not old (far from it) and as a singleton at the moment at 36 I can assure you the thought of being single forever isn't an option for me. So why is it for you? You seem very sure it will never happen and I think that's the odd thing rather than your single life to date

[pigeonpoo]

I doubt that it's your appearance

Sure, not being stunning can limit the amount who approach you in a bar situation - but in terms of actually knowing members of the opposite sex IRL more authentic situations where friendships and acquaintances are formed - the bugliest people still find partners

I remember thinking how odd looking someone I later got engaged to was when I first met him. He was bugly. But I fell for him. He returned to bugly when I realised I couldn't marry him. But whatever it was that happens when you are attracted to someone - turned him hot for a time