to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

[thickgit]

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

What I was trying to ask is, seeing as I got the response I did from management, do you think I should let some relevant body know so that they can teach the staff to have safer boundaries so that they can safeguard themselves and the children.

No. Mind your own business. You have an overactive imagination. People like you are driving men away from child care work.

I say yes, you should take it further, and I say that as the Head of a very 'hands on' infant school.
I agree with you that you saw a potentially inappropriate situation and I applaud that you sought guidance.

The problem here is not what the man intended (or didn't!) but the fact the manager was dismissive of a safe guarding call.

Protocol should have been to take notes and thank the caller, assuring them that the incident would be investigated and dealt with in the most appropriate way.
Even if she felt the most appropriate way was to do nothing because the caller is unhinged, she should still investigate and log both the call and her decision.

I have dealt with anonymous callers and I would ask, once, for a name. I wouldn't push for it though.

If every situation is handled as a possible safeguarding situation it would be very sad, staff need to feel they trusted and recruitment already a problem will get worse

Oh, here we go. The 'OMG NO ADULT CAN EVER TOUCH A CHILD EVER AGAIN' idiocy.

How long did you watch for op?
If you saw it and scurried in to report to the manager you may have missed the nursery worker removing the child and moving play on
If not and you stood and watched nursery school children happily playing it's no wonder the manager wanted to know who was closely watching their every move

Serious, I don't think this thread is representative. Go for primary. Our school list its two male teachers this year and we are missing them. Lots of children do not hz e a positive male role model at home and the male teachers helped with that, as well as creating some balance.

Some of you are going way off the point, but that's okay. Picking up a child who has fallen? Erm, yeah of course, let's leave them there
This whole 'people like me' saddens me actually. I saw something that didn't sit right with me and, God forbid, I followed it up. The guy wasn't picking up a hurt child, he wasn't playing rough and tumble, he wasn't rolling around etc etc
The nursery isn't on a road as such, it's on a drive. The playground is along the drive. Oh, and my house isn't opposite, so no curtain twitching going on. Believe it or not, I think it's fantastic that guys work there.
Many thanks to the posters who are talking sense, despite being in the minority. I had no idea that it was such an offence to discuss appropriate and inappropriate physical contact in a childcare setting.

I'm with you OP, I would have found that inappropriate and I would have felt sick if I'd seen my 3 year old dd in that situation. Looks like we're in the minority.

Everyone has different perspectives on what they see, that is to be expected. It does sadden me that society has become paranoid about this issue , the procedure in general lack common sense and everybody is treated as a potential threat.

OP you asked for people's thoughts and were given them. You've since thanked the posters 'talking sense, despite being in the minority' which could be construed as you only thanking those who agree with you. If you didn't want alternate opinions perhaps you shouldn't have asked for 'thoughts'

For what it's worth, I don't think you were unfair to contact the nursery manager about what you saw - you felt uncomfortable and raised this with the appropriate person. However, you are being unfair about her response. She told you she had no issue with the behaviour you described, therefore it would be unlikely she would investigate it, as it probably doesn't contravene any expectations she has of her staff, male or female. Whilst you may agree with her I don't think there is anything else in this situation that could be, or should be, done.

What I was trying to ask is, seeing as I got the response I did from management, do you think I should let some relevant body know so that they can teach the staff to have safer boundaries so that they can safeguard themselves and the children.

No. Because a man playing with children by letting them climb on him in full public view isn't a safe boundaries or safeguarding issue. If men in nurseries are rigidly hands-off children simply end up with all sorts of hang-ups about physical contact.

OP, I'm glad you called to report it, but saddened that the manager was so dismissive of you. For that, I do believe that this does need taking further - a call reporting concerns should be taken seriously whether the manager shares those concerns or not. You saw something that didn't seem quite right and you have done the right thing by bringing this to their attention. The behaviour will probably be quite innocent, but we don't know that for sure and it does need looking in to.

Please don't be put off by these nasty comments, we need people like you who are willing to speak up. I say this as someone who works in a child protection unit. Sometimes it's the little call about seemingly innocent behaviour that leads to bigger things being uncovered. Hopefully now the manager will pay more attention and just keep an eye on things to make sure that they are just innocent play.

Juxtaposition. No, I don't hug men in a way that there penis would touch me. Lol nope, I definitely do not give a full body to body hug, where our mid regions would be touching. I probably, unconsciously, hug everyone differently depending on how long I've known them, their sex, whether they are family etc etc

Oops typo, I obviously mean 'whilst you may not agree with her'

Said manager was likely dismissive due to staff member being in full view of other staff.

Many thanks to the posters who are talking sense, despite being in the minority

Now you insinuate anyone disagreeing with your stance is talking nonsense! Unbelievable!

How do you know he wasn't playing rough and tumble or rolling around? How long were you standing there watching, for goodness sake? And how do you know they weren't playing the Enormous Turnip or Squashing or something similar?

Frankly, you seem to have an unhealthy obsession with the entire notion that men have penises under their clothes.

Most depressing thread I've read on here in a long time :(

OP - Curiously, how would you feel if as a result of your call, or further reporting, said male resigned from the job and furthermore left the sector?

Someone said she's sure it's his kid. I said not possible, unless child is adopted or a step child. They are completely different colours.

Anyone else wondering if this has something to do with OP's attitude?

Lol okay, apologies to those posters who disagree with me, but have posted without getting personal, aggressive or insulting. Sorry, but nope, I have no intention of thanking posters who are being impolite, or whatever you want to call it :-)
Not sure how many times I've said the children weren't just climbing all over him, they were lying on him. Lord, this is hard work