to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

[thickgit]

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

[Ifonlylovewouldsavetheday]

Staff in nursery and schools should have fun with children, however part of their teaching involves appropriate contact. Play that is acceptable with parents will not necessarily be OK with others. Staff at nursery are not family. Really don't think they should push for your name, they should just get on with 'a complaint has been made' and deal with it.

[BumpTheElephant]

Actually reading your op again I really don't understand the problem (the first time I read it I assumed you must have missed something out), why did you phone the nursery? I'd just think the kids had climbed on him because they were really comfortable with him and I'd assume he was a fun, popular member of staff.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

I'd guess she sounded annoyed and defensive because she wasting time having to deal with unidentified people making pointless and prejudiced complaints about her staff.

I'd suggest you find something better to occupy your time, OP. Or find some actual safeguarding risks.

[thickgit]

Okay, I think I need to change my thread title to
Am I being unreasonble to think this nursery worker was inappropriate

[Micah]

If you really thought it inappropriate you need to contact your councils safeguarding team.

[HSMMaCM]

It's good for children to have this sort of interaction with their caters. It's not so good for the carers, who could be accused of being over tactile. It is true that men and women who want to abuse children do find ways to work with them, but not all child caters are bad. I suspect this was a perfectly innocent outdoor play activity, but if you had given your name they could have included it in their complaints record.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

You might want to take the word 'male' out of your OP too. Difficult to pretend this has little to do with his sex if you felt the need to mention it rather than call him a nursery worker.

[WorraLiberty]

I hope to God Op is wrong, and I bet she does, too.

Wrong about what though?

Wrong about a nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows, while 2 kids laid on top of him?

Or is any close contact between a male nursery worker and his charges, automatically sexual?

[JuxtapositionRecords]

Exactly what Euphemia said. We really need more men to be encouraged into nursery/pre-school/school roles and people like you are a big part of the reason there are so few.

If it was a woman what would you have thought?

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

What exactly is suspicious about a nursery worker having physical contact with children?

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

So you've got no connection to this nursery, but you saw a nursery worker doing some sort of rough and tumble play with some kids in the playground- with other members of staff and kids there too- in plain view of the street so you decided to ring the nursery anonymously and report concerns that what you'd seen was in some way.... sexy?

[exWifebeginsat40]

my daughter was groomed by a male worker at her after school club. one incident does not make data, however.

[Boomingmarvellous]

Change it to what you like, the workers behaviour was not suspicious. The fact this was in plain view with other all around and people like yourself able to see him would make me say it was just play. Someone abusing children would be doing it out of sight.

It's this attitude that puts many people off caring for children, especially men. The girls wouldn't have been doing this if they had not felt entirely comfortable with it. He wasn't dragging them onto his body.

[Pipbin]

I don't think nursery workers should be lying on the ground with small children lying on top of them.

Why? They could have been playing a game where they adult was, I don't know, the Enormous Turnip from the story they have just heard for example.
The example given up thread that nursery workers should just be there to pick up fallen children is saddening. They should be playing with the children.

It is possible to touch children in utter innocence, even if you are the registered owner of a penis.

[Ifonlylovewouldsavetheday]

If I saw this I wouldn't instantly think the male worker had criminal intent. However I would be concerned that he wasn't teaching appropriate contact from an early age (same goes ale or female). Have known nursery staff to ask for kiss goodbye wtf

[ctjoy103]

It's good the manager tried to shut you up and brush you off. A busybody phoning in and reporting about 'dodgy' things happening would you be doing this if it was a female?

[Pontytidy]

The problem is there is such a paronia of "safeguarding" that people who work with children and young people are very vulnerable. I am surprised that so many people are still willing to work with children - particularly males (which is a pity as many would provide a good role model)

[Pipbin]

Staff at nursery are not family.

And abuse of children is far more likely to come from family members.

[edwinbear]

When my dc went to nursery, at collection I would frequently find kids and staff rolling about together in the ball pit having a whale of a time. They are now with a childminder who tickles and kisses them. They are happy and secure and I am confident that they are safe and genuinely cared for. YABU OP.

[thickgit]

Yes, I too suspect this was perfectly innocent play. After all, if it wasn't, he was pretty brave seeing as he was in full view of other staff and the public
However, a man almost lying flat on his back with two children lying on top of him is not appropriate in a nursery setting.
If the manager had said something along the lines of thank you for your call, I'll go straight out and investigate, re assuring me that any observations of this nature would be taken seriously, I would not be posting here. Instead, she was defensive, leaving me feeling that she is not open to the idea that staff need to behave appropriately

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

Nursery workers asking for a kiss goodbye would be inappropriate behaviour.

Nursery worker lying on the floor with children choosing to climb on them as a game, not so much. If he'd been forcing them against their will, the OP might have had a point.

[Pipbin]

However, a man almost lying flat on his back with two children lying on top of him is not appropriate in a nursery setting.

Why not? Men are able to be around children without making it sexual you know.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

A so this is about him possessing a penis.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

F.M.L.

Seriously.