to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

[thickgit]

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

Apple's posts are so ridiculous and ranty I'm actually laughing.

Not sure how many times I've said the children weren't just climbing all over him, they were lying on him. Lord, this is hard work

Yes, it is hard work because you haven't said what is suspect about a couple of small children lying on top of a nursery worker in public in the course of play for the few seconds (I hope) that you were watching. If you were watching for longer than that, I can see why the nursery leader wanted your name.

It's notbing to do with pissing off a man ffs. how did you manage to twist it round to the

it's not about upset.

it's about making nasty allegations with zero to go on based on a person's anatomy. that is not ok to do. and trying to disgust such an attitude with words like "safe guarding"

Grumtledone. . . How did I know someone would say that. God give me strength.

disguise

I run a childcare business - along with my husband.

Personally, I think the manager's response wasn't necessarily professional or appropriate (i.e. she should have responded in a better way) BUT having seen the way small children play with DH I'm not convinced that there is anything wrong with what OP is describing. It depends hugely on length of time, ages of children involved, etc. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen the children messing about, pushing DH over and climbing all over him. I remember him caring for a 1 year old who hadn't been to childcare before and initially wouldn't nap unless they were on someone's chest - so anyone looking on would have seen a small child lying on a male childcarer (albeit in a more upright position) because just changing that cold turkey wouldn't have been in the child's best interests.

We also don't ban our staff from having physical contact with the older children but instruct that it must be child led e.g. if they come for a hug or climb up on the carer's knee during story-time, that's fine.

I couldn't agree more with apple. Knew it needed saying but couldn't face engaging with the vitriol. Well said.

Never was an OP more aptly named.

I agree with the child led approach, but maybe not so sensible to lay there in the way I've described

But you have given no indication of how long you were watching for or whether you saw how that came about. From your description it sounds closer to a "pile on" type scenario to me - where he's managed to keep up on his elbows to stop the kids actually jumping on his head!

Actually Rider, it should be 'fickgit' but I can't figure out how to change it, because I'm thick, I mean fick.

What apple said might have carried more weight if there ever had been an Operation Gumtree.

You're right, I've not said how long, because I'll get flamed either way, as posters have made super clear to me.
It wasn't a pile on scenario. If it was, I wouldn't be here. It was a relax and chill scenario.

OP - I posted earlier in this thread. My child was abused in a nursery. I don't believe mumsnet threads on topics like this are representative of what people in real life tend to think.

I think it's better to be cautious than to be overly trusting like many of the people on this thread are.

I think most abuse is well hidden and people would be shocked that their lovely relation or the kind nursery worker was not what they seemed.

We can't live our lives in fear of everyone but it's important we have our eyes open.

We take risks when we leave our children with others. We have to hope we won't be in the unlucky minority who come across an abuser.

I would prefer to potentially offend an adult in the circumstance you described than to ignore something that made me feel uneasy. I think when vulnerable people like children or very elderly people or disabled people are being looked after in care settings then the care workers should expect to be under a high degree of scrutiny - and we should not prioritise the feelings of the care workers over the need to protect the people under their care.

You sound like an interfering busybody. The man was playing with chikdren in full view of other workers. What he was doing does not sound inappropriate, would you have done the same if it was a woman . You sound a bit of a coward not leaving your name if you were that concerned!

And well said earlyday. Couldn't agree more.

You reported it because you were concerned, not concerned enough to give your name, and then are pissed off because the manager wasn't concerned like you.

The kids at my daughters nursery are always sat on the lap of, or jumping and climbing in, staff. It's great. They don't happen to have a male member of staff but if they did so what.

This fear of 'the big bad' is out of control. I'm doing some safeguarding as part of a volunteer role, I've worked in the legal field, I know how bad stuff can get. I also know how comparatively rare it is that it happens and how robust checking processes have to be.

So if the fact that human nature usually means to the positive isn't enough for you the fact he'll have been checked, as will his female counterparts, should be enough.

And with regards to the family thing.

some kids spend more time in nursery than at home. nursery see them through many of the firsts. they feed cloth and change them etc

now that cant be helped. houses and cars and food doesn't pay fir itself. parent swirl to give their child the best life that they can. now the nursery never will be their mum or dad, but don't underestimate the mind some of these staff will have with sone of the children having spent 7/8 hours a day 5 days a week since they were just weeks old until they leave for school at 4/5

they aren't some tatty jumper borrow to keep the kids warn as the parent can't drop one off.

they are a significant part of their life.

and of course others will have neglectful or disrupted unpleasant homes. a trusted worker gubing attention and keeping them.warm and safe and just providing somewhere safe to be, well that's the one thing sone kids will have to look forward to.

My wife who is a nursery worker has read the OP post and she's said this is why there's barely any men in childcare.

According to the London child protection procedures (apologies for being London centric but there are no nationwide ones) allegations against professionals should be investigated when:

"there is an allegation or concern that any person who works with children, in connection with their employment or voluntary activity, has:
• Behaved in a way that has harmed a child, or may have harmed a child;
• Possibly committed a criminal offence against or related to a child;
• Behaved towards a child or children in a way that indicates they may pose a risk of harm to children."

The nursery manager would have to think the staff member had done one of the above to initiate an investigation by the designated officer in children's services, who in turn have a duty to inform Ofsted.

OP - if you really are so dissatisfied with the reaction from the nursery manager call the designated officer in your local authority Children's Services on Monday and discuss with them.

I'm fine with you calling me an interfering busy body. You know what, it's my duty to take this further. Children don't have a voice. We are their advocates. Yep, in a way all the people that have poo pooed me
have actually helped. After all, if everyone took your stance, that's even more reason to follow up my concerns. I'm sure this nursery just needs some training on appropriate boundaries. But guess what, although I don't think this was what was happening, it is actually possible to abuse children in full view of everyone.
Earlyday. . . I don't think it is representative, no. I've put the exact scenario to several friends, all of whom have said it sounds inappropriate.

Ffs no one has taken a stance.

There Is just NOTHING there!!

had something been actually seen or heard of course people would report.

we.just disagree that a Penis =a pervert