to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

[thickgit]

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

Sad world we live in

I used to work in a nursery. While I was more likely to be playing with children than lying on the ground, I do remember one little boy liking to lie down on top of me while I was lying on my back. It was usually in the afternoon when he was a bit tired. I never thought it was strange. I also used to pick up the children and cuddle them when they wanted me to. As far as I know, the parents were just happy that I was being caring towards the children, and that the children were happy attending the nursery. Nobody ever accused me of anything untoward.

Your reasons for not giving your name are petty and totally at odds with your concerns. I am now wondering about your motives. You saw something that worried you but not enough to actually do anything. Obviously your feelings of duty towards safeguarding children have their limits.

Op you are one of the strangest I've ever come across, an achievement really.

FFS OP get a fucking grip!

These children don't need you to 'be their voice'; they need you to bore off with your ridiculous notion of "clothed penis" being a danger to kids and let them get on with having fun with the nursery staff.

People like you are going to eradicate male teachers, play workers, even men from swimming pools and parks and dads ftom bathing their children,because they must be a paedophile if they've taken their bloody penis anywhere near a child mustn't they! Dear God!

Get a fucking grip and stop being so ridiculous!!

Thankfully where I work is monitored by adults with common sense.
When policies are written they are written based on we work with people. We work with people who may on occasion get upset. Who want someone there for them to comfort them. Who want to play. To roll around. Who do clamber on us, including our 19 year olds (sn school). Who do require close contact during hydro and rebound, and at times require our bodies to be used for support. And yes this also includes males, staff and students. Who are able to sit on our knees.
Our governors are happy with the policies. The parents/carers are happy with what we do. Ofsted mention how much we give a shit (obviously worded better) when they award us outstanding.

Yet from some of the posts on here we should all be weary of our jobs? Because obviously it's all unacceptable what we do. And just for the pearl clutchers your are going to love this. Those that see something wrong with the male having children climb over him... We have male staff in the water, with our females. And some of the females wrap their legs around staff. Yes including men. Just like some of our male students wrap their legs around staff as well.

OP - I'm a little confused as to how thirteen pages of people almost unanimously telling you that you are unreasonable has reassured you that you are entirely reasonable

I think you have issues with physical contact and you are projecting this in a very unhelpful way. Rather than being the rescuer in this situation, you are creating all sorts of distress and heartache - perhaps that is what you want?

I don't have the slightest concern that the sort of physical contact you describe is indicative of anything inappropriate - I mean bouncing a child on your knee being inappropriate seriously??

Damn I'd better stop hugging people now, just in case they brush against my penis.

From OP's description it doesn't sound like an obvious child protection issue. Just normal play. I think in a nursery setting I would be happy for my children to be playing rough and tumble or getting a cuddle form the workers. If they were at school I would think it was inappropriate. For me, nursery is more about providing a caring homely environment for your child where as school is about learning. But it's good there are vigilant people out there, grooming doesn't always happen behind closed doors

I'm deeply concerned that someone could see anything 'sexual' in the aforementioned scenario and TBH that is more of a safeguarding issue than anything the nursery worker was supposedly doing.

I fail to see what they nursery worker has done wrong, he was lying down, probably letting 2 children rough play over him like my ds 4, likes to do. At ds old nursery, there was a fantastic young male nursery worker, who I imagined would let kids rough play on him. He really related to the children, especially the boys like ds, who relates better to males. I wish more nursery and Primary schools, employed more male staff, its attitudes like op, which put them off, and make them afraid to apply.

The nursery manager should not have reacted the way she did. Anyone should feel able to report an issue they think is a safeguarding one, including anonymously.

I would have felt sick if I'd seen my 3 year old dd in that situation
Really? You would have felt sick? So your automatic assumption on seeing that would be that some kind of abuse was happening or likely to happen.
That's tragic!

Why is it tragic? 22% of girls have been sexually abused by the time they are 18.

Have you got a link to that research Cleaty?

22% of girls have been sexually abused by the time they are 18.

And a large amount of that percentage is by family members.

What % of that 22% was by family members, or family friends!

Have been googling to try and find the research but the only thing I can find was commissioned by the NSPCC and states that 1 in 5 children under 18 experience some form of abuse, just under 5% experience contact sexual abuse (65.9% of this was done by someone under the age of 18).

Would be interesting to read the research you refer to cleaty.

I own two nurseries and have worked with children for 12 years! I find this comment crazy and insulting to male nursery workers ! My staff would do the same thing (make/female) children climb children jump just like you would do for your own children. It's comments like this that stop males wanting to work in a nursery environment. Absolute madness!!!

"22% of girls have been sexually abused by the time they are 18."

And a large amount of that percentage is by family members"

Agree, moreover the percentage of that statistic that refers to very young children must be very small.

not read the whole thread but enough to see awful comments directed at op.,

If this was our female nursery worker, I too would be rather surprised op and not feel its appropriate!

I think giving someone such a kicking for a phone call is really off...she has done know harm, and I also find the aggression of the manager odd. As op said a " can we take your name in case we need to call you" far better than defensive - who are you....stuff.

Op, keep an eye on it.

Op if some one was so aggressively asking for my name I would also refuse to give it.

The end of the day, you have done no harm, but if there was something going on, imagine the harm you would have stopped,

and yes - its a very sad world we live in, we should all be more observant.

Let's remember this is only one side of the story! And yes raising a concern is one thing but then airing it In public to what effect?

Two sides to every story !!