To have expected the head to ring TONIGHT

[owlsintheflowerpatch]

Have name changed as this will out me.

A child in dc year brought a knife into school yesterday. They showed the knife to the kids on their table before form. Dc described it as a pen knife with tools. He was showing off the knife bit. A boy on the table said he was going to report to the year head.

Today as dc and a friend were queuing for assembly and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get in the hall my dc was pushed and accidently bumped into the child who had had the knife the day before.

The child turned round and told my dc and their friend that if they pushed him again he would get them with the knife.

My dc has tried to find the year head but was unable to, dc has sen and is very shy and has issues approaching adults so did not feel comfortable approaching anyone else.

Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened.
They did not speak to me at all (may have been with parents) and told me that they would speak to my dc on Monday and call me after then.

AIBU to think given the seriousness of the nature of the incident that someone should have phoned me after the meeting with the child if only to reassure me it was being dealt with and reassure my dc rather than a message through the office member and leaving us to stew all weekend or am I over reacting because I am cross about the incident?

You're not going to get a call from school. I doubt they even realise you want them to call.
In your mind, you son has been threatened and due process must follow.
The school's perception is that there's a parent who's a bit concerned about her son and she's welcome to call if she'd like.
You probably need to arrange an appointment with the head if you want them 'on the same page' as you.

They do know i want them to call. The year head was spoken to by the office staff while i was on hold and promised to call me back as soon as they had spoken to my dc Monday morning.

Perhaps they don't appreciate the significance of your wanting them to call.

I'm a very laid back parent. This is appalling. I can't believe nobody has called you. I'd emaio what sootica'said and copy in the LEA. Awful.

I have had a reply to my complaint not understanding why i expected communication from them despite the fact that THEY told me they would

They don't understand why you would want communication when your child was threatened with a knife whilst in their care?!
I would stop any dialogue with them now.
Go over their heads, as high as you can, including the police.

Dc have already told police inc a school police officer at cadets.
I have already gone as far as the head at school (well the year head cc'd the whole senior management team into their reply.

Yes they apologise if i feel they should have phoned me (they were the people who first said they would call not me)

They couldn't have told me anything anyway.

Their priority was sorting the incident and not calling me basically even though the call was their suggestion.
(because they didn't have two minutes in a week to call me)

If i want an update now im welcome to call them.

Appalling behaviour on the part of the school. Your boy was threatened with getting the knife and the school appear to not appreciate the impact it has had on your son - and you. After their lack of response to something so serious, will you ever truly trust the school to keep DS safe? Any head worth their salt would call you back and reassure you that matters were being addressed - it would be the least they could do.

Not really theday going to have to consider our options.

Is that an official complaint with the police?

I thought about this thread today when I heard a report on the local radio news about a 15 year old that had been excluded locally for taking a knife into school just last week. So that makes this all the more shocking that one it's happened elsewhere and two that it is being dealt with so badly at your school. It's a scary world we live in that this is happening in schools.

Am I reading this right that no one has contacted you still??????? I am gobsmacked!!!!!!!

Their 'apology' is pretty shoddy too, 'they apologise if i feel they should have phoned me'.

'We're sorry you think we should spend our precious time consoling your special snowflake after he's been threatened with a knife, but we'll have to agree to disagree. It was only a penknife you know, not a fucking machete! '

''We're sorry you think we should spend our precious time consoling your special snowflake after he's been threatened with a knife, but we'll have to agree to disagree'

yes this entirely ^

Nope they still have not called, just a shoddy email reply to my complaint cc'd to all the senior management team to arse cover basically saying we are sorry if you thought we should have called you sooner but we would have had nothing to tell you. (I made it clear a reassurance call was all I was looking for at this stage) if you want to talk to us now about it you should call us.

Schools just seem to be wanting these problems to go away on their own, instead of actually dealing with the issues properly.

My 8yo ds was ganged up on by 5 children last week. They held him down, pushed back his head and put their hands around his throat. He reported it, but I didn't get a phone call or hear anything from the school. Luckily he told me, and then I was able to contact the school to try and make sure that it had been properly dealt with. He has since been pushed over in the playground. This was Monday, and I'm still waiting to see someone about it.

I think that they'd rather just pretend that these problems weren't happening in school.

I think that if you have an outcome in mind as a result of a call e.g. to know the steps that will how he taken to protect your son then it makes it a lot more shoddy of them not to call back.
Then when you complain above the school, you're able to say I needed these important assurances and I haven't received them.
If you're complaining simply that the school didn't do a courtesy call your complaint might not be taken as seriously.

Chinese I wanted to know that my child was safe in school while they investigated basically.

The child will definitely be back in dc form and sat no doubt on dc table as before after the Easter break.
Dc have already said this morning that they do not feel safe in school as a result.
Whether the child did or didn't seem capable of carry out the threat as seems to be being played up school wise is not my concern. I am sure that several of the attacks with pupils on pupils in schools in the UK and USA news were carried out by pupils who did not seem capable.

I think that's right. You just want a call to say that your concerns have been taken on board, and these are the steps we are taking now to ensure your child's safety. It just feels like everyone is ignoring you, and that your child's concerns haven't been taken into consideration, and that your child's safety doesn't really matter. The school should keep communication open.

Well they haven't even bothered replying to my complaint response to their initial response so I guess that says all it need to say really.

I wonder if they want you to call them because then whatever's said isn't in writing and they can't be held to account for it?

Maybe you could write again to them (ccing all/sundry) setting everything down in a timeline, who said what and when etc, and, like Chinese has said, have specific, clear to see, questions that you expect answers to? (could you even give them a time you expect an answer back? Not sure whether you'd be pushing your luck or not but there's only this week to get it sorted)

Then you can say in all honesty that you'd tried everything to sort it with the school before going on to the next step when they (eventually) write back and try to give you a load of old flannel again (which they're bound to given how they've acted so far).

They're dragging something out which needs sorting quickly, especially if they think they're going to put the lad on the same table as your DS again! Your DS has been left feeling unsafe and they have to address that and tell you how they're going to make sure that he has nothing to worry about.

I have done the write back cc'ing everyone this morning.
I think you are probably right, they won't want a paper trail and I am making one.

Hell's teeth! No response to your complaint still? Perhaps it's time to change schools as they've failed, big time, to take this incident seriously or address your concerns. It appears they are viewing you as a nuisance to want what they promised you - a simple reassurance call. The trust in the school has gone, for both you and your son. Your DS would always be frightened/anxious to go to school and sit there with this boy at his table, not knowing if there will be further incidences.

My heart goes out to you and your DS.

Have spent all today ringing schools. Everywhere tried so far is full.