To have expected the head to ring TONIGHT

[owlsintheflowerpatch]

Have name changed as this will out me.

A child in dc year brought a knife into school yesterday. They showed the knife to the kids on their table before form. Dc described it as a pen knife with tools. He was showing off the knife bit. A boy on the table said he was going to report to the year head.

Today as dc and a friend were queuing for assembly and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get in the hall my dc was pushed and accidently bumped into the child who had had the knife the day before.

The child turned round and told my dc and their friend that if they pushed him again he would get them with the knife.

My dc has tried to find the year head but was unable to, dc has sen and is very shy and has issues approaching adults so did not feel comfortable approaching anyone else.

Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened.
They did not speak to me at all (may have been with parents) and told me that they would speak to my dc on Monday and call me after then.

AIBU to think given the seriousness of the nature of the incident that someone should have phoned me after the meeting with the child if only to reassure me it was being dealt with and reassure my dc rather than a message through the office member and leaving us to stew all weekend or am I over reacting because I am cross about the incident?

As a teacher this would be my advice. Go into school with him on Monday morning and ask for a meeting with someone on slt. Insist on being told exactly what is going on with the other lad and how they intend to keep your son safe. Dont let him out of your sight until you are satisfied. Some schools would try and brush this under the carpet.

And I think OP has a right to know about the response since her son's life has been threatened. Bailey Gwynne should have been a wake up call for all of us.

I never cease to be amazed at the reactions of some folks on MN in response to things that happen at school.

Substitute the word 'school', for 'at work' or 'on the train' and you would get an entirely different reaction.

Right now OP hasn't got a flying clue if police are even involved so how is she just supposed to 'know' they are 'dealing with it'?

OP If I were you, I would do what I would do if my child was threatened with a knife on the street, at a youth club, wherever. I would be ringing the police and ringing them now, and in turn they will almost certainly send someone round to you to take a statement. That way both you AND DS will be assured it is 'being dealt with' as manifestly the police will then liase with the school. Horrendous as it is, right now you have no reason to know or believe that the school have even contacted the police, but this IS a criminal offence and your DS IS the victim of a crime.

Also, once your son has made a statement - and contrary to the misinformation and presumption on this thread - they WILL be able to advise you if they are or are not aware of/engaged with this offence; they won't be able (of course) to give you specifics other than those directly related to your DS's crime ref no, but they WILL - as part of dealing with your report - be able to tell you they either are or are not already involved.

OP Please don't do nothing just because this happened in school - seriously, change the narrative to any other place and you know what you would do in a heartbeat.

Your poor DS must have been shit scared. HE needs to be overtly assured this will not happen again and a report to the police will provide him with precisely that. Feel for you

They may have been dealing with this incident until well after school finished.

As for demanding to know what is happening to the other boy, they may well refuse to tell you anything - we never discuss the actual punishment with the parents of a victim except in very general terms.

Good luck with sitting there til you see the head. In some places you'd need butties and a sleeping bag...

The school will probably call the police who will then be asked to carry out an enquiry into what happened. it is likely they will want to speak to your DS about this but as he is deemed safe they will prioritise the child who had the knife in order to make arrangements to manage him (probably with SS). They may still be in the school managing it tonight. It is about priorities and although your DS is your priority he is physically unharmed and can wait until Monday.

I just want to add I actually have no idea what so ever they are dealing with Dcs incident.

I mean of course I am pretty sure they are but when I rang to report my dcs incident they were dealing with the child for simply having a knife in school. They were completely unaware of dc being threatened. The office rang through to the year head and head then came back to me to say they were with the boy already and would speak to dc Monday about our incident.

If this isn't in Scotland then I'd be surprised as a similar knife incident happened near me.

Sorry, posted too soon. If it's the same HT at the school I'm thinking of he's a waste of space.

Id ring the police, just as I would if someone threatened me with a knife. And you should be told exactly what is being done to prevent this happening again. I wouldn't expect to see that child at school for a good while!

How old is your dc?

At very least I'd be going in Monday and insisting they tell me how my child is being kept safe.

Though the thing about being threatened anywhere else does resonate anywhere else I'd be on to the police so I think it might depend how much faith I had with the school management as to whether I contact the police.

The office rang through to the year head and head then came back to me to say they were with the boy already and would speak to dc Monday about our incident.

Beyond not acceptable - sounds v much like they are dealing with issue 1 (the knife per se) today, and will 'deal with' issue 2 (your DS being threatened with knife) sepearateely and AFTER they have spoken to him - aka NO 'dealing with' until post that conv with DS on Monday.

I used to be a school governor in a state senior school and was jaw dropped at the minimisation that went on in the SLT - they cared more about the school rep than the school reality

OP Please, trust me vis the reality of the above, and also just ring 101/111/whatever it is and report the fact that today your child was threatened with being knifed.

From that headline, then fill in the details (or more likely they will lead you via questions) including the fact it was in school, but start with the simple and horrifying and bloody terrifying fact that your child has been threatened with being knifed.

Am staggered at some of the responses on here, really am, it's shocking TBH

Secondary age.

Wishtobewell

' - sounds v much like they are dealing with issue 1 (the knife per se) today, and will 'deal with' issue 2 (your DS being threatened with knife) separately and AFTER they have spoken to him - aka NO 'dealing with' until post that conv with DS on Monday.'

Yes this is how I feel and what I was trying to explain badly.

I think I would ring the police, log the incident, and ask their advice. Might have happened in school, but is serious enough to involve police.

What kind of child is the other boy? The sort who thinks it's 'cool' to take a knife in to school and threaten people, but who would never follow through, or one who's always in trouble and has form for violence?

Either way, it's completely unacceptable and the school need to deal with this well.

If I were threatened with a knife at work, I sure as hell wouldn't expect anyone to tell me it could wait until Monday before being dealt with ...

I appreciate they can't say anything but a call to say appropriate action is hand is the very minimum I'd expect before sending my child back to school.

I don't find that acceptable at all. Yanbu. I absolutely have sympathy with the school staff having to deal with a serious incident but this is also a serious and connected incident.
I have a zero tolerance approach to violence and would be reporting this to the police. They are secondary age, well old enough to know the implications of threatening a classmate. I would also feel it is aggravated by your son being more vulnerable but I admit that is purely based on my own SN child and you may not feel it was a factor.

My Dh is a paramedic, without giving too much detail I hope, in one week this year 3 colleagues have been assaulted with weapons, needing hospitalisation, and others assaulted without weapons but one included the member of staff's head being repeatedly stamped on. These incidents seem to be on the increase, although it may be selection bias due to our social circle, but everyone has been attacked (not including MH crisis calls). Every attempt must be made to nip violence in the bud, in this case not only for the safety of your son and his classmates but so that the other child is given all the support necessary to safeguard his future.

I hope your boy isn't too shaken.

YANBU

While I have sympathy for the staff and the child with the knife ( maybe he has social issues) I most certainly would ONLY be thinking about the impact to MY son.

All this thinking about the other child etc is all well and good but my priority as is the OPs is to their OWN child. A quick email by a member of staff to acknowledge the effect and apprehension that this incident has caused your family would have been appropriate and appreciated I am sure

I don't think you are being unreasonable. A court case has just finished in Aberdeen with a 16 year old being convicted of murder of another school boy. The argument started over a biscuit. The boy was known to carry knives to school.

I do feel my child is more vulnerable due to sen the same Bernard. They already didn't want to go to school prior to this tbh.

I don't know anything about the other child although he's not a name I hear consistently as being silly or a bully so I am surprised it was him just from what dc have said. There have been no previous issues between the dc and him.

But I can't take that risk.

Dc is worrying that he will be told I rang and reported it.

There are a finite number of hours in the day for the Head to achieve everything on his or her plate. They probably had an over-full afternoon before having to deal with the knife incident. Your son is safe and in no immediate danger, surely you can wait until Monday for a call? Mind you, if it's anything like DS' school, you might still receive a call. I think some of the teachers there never go home!

owls a boy threatened to kill my dd last year (year 7) with a knife he said he had in his bag, I didn't get a call back that day either. I rang again on the Monday morning quoting all sorts (ousted mainly) and it was sorted very quickly.

I was so upset for her about it though having to go back to school with that hanging over her. I feel for you and your ds.

Thank goodness some sensible posters have turned up.

OP please listen to those saying you are NOT unreasonable. Do not send your sin to school until you know if this situation is being dealt with as a serious issue.

But the op was informed about what was happening - that the head and the boy were together - no doubt sorting out a fixed term exclusion which has to involve parents etc. The boy in question will not be in school on Monday I suspect, giving the head time to sort the rest of the issues.
You have been told it is being dealt with.