To have expected the head to ring TONIGHT

[owlsintheflowerpatch]

Have name changed as this will out me.

A child in dc year brought a knife into school yesterday. They showed the knife to the kids on their table before form. Dc described it as a pen knife with tools. He was showing off the knife bit. A boy on the table said he was going to report to the year head.

Today as dc and a friend were queuing for assembly and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get in the hall my dc was pushed and accidently bumped into the child who had had the knife the day before.

The child turned round and told my dc and their friend that if they pushed him again he would get them with the knife.

My dc has tried to find the year head but was unable to, dc has sen and is very shy and has issues approaching adults so did not feel comfortable approaching anyone else.

Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened.
They did not speak to me at all (may have been with parents) and told me that they would speak to my dc on Monday and call me after then.

AIBU to think given the seriousness of the nature of the incident that someone should have phoned me after the meeting with the child if only to reassure me it was being dealt with and reassure my dc rather than a message through the office member and leaving us to stew all weekend or am I over reacting because I am cross about the incident?

I actually have a friend who is a police officer. I'm going to have a chat to them, See what advice they have. Speak to school on Monday before dc goes and take action from there depending how satisfied I am with the response.

Please call the police what if the boy follows through the threat?

If I can write this without alarming you any further owls, because the 'it's only an penknife' comment has really shocked me, the boy who murdered Bailey Gwynne (and who was found guilty this week) did it with a penknife.

No knife is 'just' a knife.

It's a fucking knife! In a school!

Just this boy saying he's going to set about your son with it (whether he's got one in his bag or not, and the fact that he's already shown it off to all and sundry makes it so much worse) should set something off within the school so your DS (and you) has the support and reassurance he needs and deserves.

That they've left you in free fall really is concerning.

"That they've left you in free fall really is concerning". I agree with this 100%.

They have said "oh your son has een threatened with a knife on school premises. I'll have a chat with you in 3 days time about it, in the meantime send your son to school".

The HT is an idiot if they believe that response, to a criminal offence, is acceptable.

AgentZigzag is 100% right "just" minimising. Please report this

Just report it to the police.

I work in a secondary. I'm very surprised the school are expecting you to send your DC to school on Monday, without getting their version of events today.

I would be reporting it to 101 myself. Your DS needs to write everything down. Taking a pen knife to school and making threats to use it is very serious.

When I was a school governor, a weapon in school was an automatic permanent exclusion. It was the only occasion that school had ever permanently excluded a child. No chance of winning the appeal.

Wtf! You do know that teachers have private lives too? You're really expecting them to phone you over the weekend?

This kind of incident creates hours and hours and hours of safeguarding / police / interviewing etc. And it's always on a Friday evening. The school have a lot of decisions to make. It's not unreasonable to expect to be phoned and reassured by it, if you aren't aware of the intense level of procedures which will have been unfolding after school is closed. Let's just say that something I had to deal with which emerged after school on a Friday a few years ago was not dissimilar and I was still at school waiting for social workers and the police at nearly 10pm (and missed a night out with my friends too). They have said they will call you on Monday. I would go in with him on Monday to see the head of year as your son is a bit nervy. He/she will probably want to speak to him about what happened (unless they are going the police route in which case they are advised not to interview him first).

When I was a school governor, a weapon in school was an automatic permanent exclusion

It's not so much the weapon, it's the threat to use it which is the bigger problem here. I think the most likely outcome would be a permanent exclusion, although if he's normally good and this is a real one-off moment of madness then it could be a "managed move" to another school.

Of course the school should have called you. I'd call the police and report the incident if I were you. I hope your child is feeling ok tonight.

Was going to say the same as "wish". Can't believe all the "it's fine to deal with this on Monday" responses. If this happened in my workplace I'd be calling the police, securing the office and taking whatever steps I needed to reassure staff.

In your place OP I'd be calling the police immediately and raising merry hell with the school when you can.

Where has the OP said she wants to eat into the teachers private lives jeremy?

Why didn't it occur to them as soon as they were told about the threat to her DS that they should outline how they're going to go about keeping her DS safe on Monday? Any one of them could have given her a quick bell before leaving school.

Instead they've left her with all the worst case scenarios she can come up with in 48+ hours and made her feel as though her DS is a very low priority.

Who was it you talked to at the school OP? Is it possible it wasn't actually anyone who'd know how shit like this should be tackled, like office staff? I'm not suggesting office staff would/should be clueless but they might not know how ridiculous it sounds to say 'don't worry, we'll sort it Monday' as though your DS had lost his PE top or something, and it was said off the top of their heads and them being thoughtless?

Follow the sensible teachers comment. Head into school with him Monday, go to the reception and wait for the head teacher.

There's no indication yet that your not being taken seriously by the school. They are dealing primarily with this boy today. Whose to say there wasn't police, ss that could have gone later on into the evening. Teachers have home lives too and their own children to look after.

Your son is home safe with you, nothing can happen and sort it out face to face on Monday.

Just had a thought - also you don't know that they found the knife on the child. You said they had seen it the day before, he might not have brought it in the next day when he was pulled up by teachers

So there would be an allegation against boy from other pupils that he had the knife but no evidence if he didn't have it that day - no way to prove it. Could be a reason why they are putting off until Monday so they can have a proper chat with ds to get his version of events as evidence.

I too would have expected a quick call.

Hope your do isn't too anxious over the weekend.

Very upsetting OP. What's positive though is that your child took action...appropriate action...when trying to find the year head to report to. He'd taken the cue from the other boy at his table who'd earlier said that was what he was going to do....did you tell your DC how well he'd done?

They should have phoned to gain insight into the incident -

He may have threatened others - who did see HT before you rang - police maybe involved already - school may have a huge file in the child - so many unknowns.

They may have decided to exclude this boy already so your DS "evidence" isn't required so to speak -
That is a lack of thought or care towards your son

However the bigger picture is to make sure the child is safe and removed

I would phone and log this with the community police officer - so they can take down the facts - if not involved already they can at least speak to the family this weekend or the HT over the weekend

Jeremyisahunt not at all. I spoke to school at 3.05. I was hoping for a couple of minute call to question facts and reassure over a fairly serious incident when they would have still been in school not a lengthy conversation over the weekend. When I worked as a HLTA for many years the schools I have worked in would have called.

MattDillonsPants It's actually a big step for dc that they even tried to report it. Last year dc suffered bullying and said nothing.

Agent I rang up asking to speak to the year head, the person on reception asked why, I explained. They rang through to the office and spoke to year head then came back to me saying the year head and head already with the boy and they would speak to dc Monday then call me. So I only got to speak to whoever answered phone in reception.

Bakeoff 'they have said "oh your son has been threatened with a knife on school premises. I'll have a chat with you in 3 days time about it, in the meantime send your son to school".

Yes this I how I feel. I was fairly calm about it when dc called because I was confident in how I thought they would respond although obviously shocked but dc has been clearly worked up about it since and worked up about going to school on Monday now as a child who struggles socially to speak to adults they know they are going to have to speak to the head who dc have never had to deal with AND likely be name called for being 'a grass' and worried that if the child comes back to school they will know dc said something and be blamed for the initial report too and I'm a bit cross that our weekend of birthday celebrations now has a huge shadow over it.

In fact thinking about it when I left a message on the local (different) schools answer phone at 3.45pm a few months ago about a minor issue relating to their parents parking/driving like twats I just thought they would send a letter home but the head of that school took time out to call me that night at 5pm to assure me they were dealing with it (i didn't expect that) yet no one at all in the incident at dc school which is pretty serious could give a quick two minute reassurance call from a form teacher/year head/deputy head or anyone senior AT ALL even to say 'we are dealing with it, we are taking it seriously, we will need to speak to dc on Monday but please tell them not to worry, are they ok? call

Well OP - I'm very surprised by some of the reactions on here - especially in a week where we have seen a conviction following the death by knifing in the Scottsh school. As dreadful as taking a knife into school is, the threatening of your DC takes it to a whole new level - I think in the real world, they must be different offences - carrying a knife and then threatening to use it. You are being remarkably calm and the school SMT is behaving appalling. I really do think you should go to the police now - there is a child with a knife in your community who threatens to use it if crossed. Where is he at the moment? Has the knife been confiscated? Are the police already involved? It is not simply a school matter - it is a public safety issue. Sorry about your w/e bring spoilt

Jeremy I would certainly expect an SLT member to "give up" some of their evening or weekend to deal with a threat to knife a child at their school if that was what was required to deal effectively, responsibly and compassionately with the incident. At that level a professional should expect to have to be flexible about dealing with serious matters that happen outside regular hours and putting their private life on hold when necessary. I'm sure if a teacher had been threatened in a way that made them nervous about returning to school they wouldn't be expected to have to turn up to teach, with the same child potentially in the class, before the people responsible for their work environment spoke to them.

Reporting it to the police yourself will give you more reassurance than the school could. I would be concerned that the school are minimising the issue.

I'm always amazed when people claim that schools would obviously have leapt into gear and instituted proceedings and that the victim's parents should trust that all will unfold in good time. That's the way things should happen - and do in good schools. But we all know that there are crap schools, crap heads, crap teachers out there so it's reasonable to need reassuring that things are happening. A phone call from the head seems the very least Op might expect. I'd take my own steps to ensure the safety of my kid.