To have expected the head to ring TONIGHT

[owlsintheflowerpatch]

Have name changed as this will out me.

A child in dc year brought a knife into school yesterday. They showed the knife to the kids on their table before form. Dc described it as a pen knife with tools. He was showing off the knife bit. A boy on the table said he was going to report to the year head.

Today as dc and a friend were queuing for assembly and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get in the hall my dc was pushed and accidently bumped into the child who had had the knife the day before.

The child turned round and told my dc and their friend that if they pushed him again he would get them with the knife.

My dc has tried to find the year head but was unable to, dc has sen and is very shy and has issues approaching adults so did not feel comfortable approaching anyone else.

Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened.
They did not speak to me at all (may have been with parents) and told me that they would speak to my dc on Monday and call me after then.

AIBU to think given the seriousness of the nature of the incident that someone should have phoned me after the meeting with the child if only to reassure me it was being dealt with and reassure my dc rather than a message through the office member and leaving us to stew all weekend or am I over reacting because I am cross about the incident?

And the fact the HT has said he will talk to you in 3 days, says to me he is NOT talking this incident seriously.

A 3 minute call to say it is being dealt with and inquire as to how the OPs child is would not be too much to ask IMO. Especially as it is Friday and this is not going to be spoken about until Monday.

piece you "suspect" the boy won't be in school on Monday?

Oh that's ok then.

That's it checkpoint , dc who is anxious about school anyway has it all hanging over all weekend and having to go in Monday and deal with going to the head or year head (something they struggle with due to social issues) incidentally its also their birthday sigh.

bad bad pastoral care IMO they should be just as concerned about how your DC is effected by this incident as the perpetrator

I think I'd do as other posters have suggested and call the police (non- emergency number) for advice. I'd also be keeping my ds off on Monday until I had spoken to the head.

'A 3 minute call to say it is being dealt with and inquire as to how the OPs child is '

That's all I wanted.
Dc is really bothered about being picked on for 'snitching' or the boy being told dc has told on him.
Piece when I rang the school were all ready with the boy dealing with the knife being brought in in general.

They had no idea about dc being threatened , the office told them when I rang. They didn't speak to me.

Dealing with a child who has brought in a pen knife to show off is different to dealing with a child who has threatened to use that knife surely.

I think I would call the police if my child had been threatened by another child with a knife. And I wouldn't be sending my child back in on Monday until I knew what was happening.

My reasoning is this. If a colleague at work threatened me with a knife, I would call the police, and I wouldn't just walk back into the office with that colleague as if nothing had happened. So I'd expect the same for my child.

The chances of the other boy being in school on Monday is slim. Most schools would have a fixed term exclusion. Quite rightly the headteacher is focussing on the boy boy with the knife.

How old is the boy and did he have the knife on him when he made his threat? A very immature year 7 might not understand how serious such behaviour is, but year 11 child should expect to be treated more harshly.

"Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened."

Are there any witnesses to what happened? Otherwise its just one child's word against another. The head teacher would want to get witness statements before taking action against the boy with the knife based on hearsay.

A swiss army penknife is hardly a machete. Lots of children take inappriopiate objects to school to show off. If this boy was intent on murder he would take a kitchen knife into school.

Reallytired not year 7s.
Another child was there.
I don't know if he had the knife on him at the time. It was in assembly so he didn't get it out. He certainly had had it on him.

I don't think that he actually would stab my dc but it honestly isn't a risk I am prepared to take!

YANBU. As others have said I would phone the police. When one of my dc was 15 there was an incident. School said they were dealing with it. They were very busy minimising and covering it up. I wish I had involved the police. They did nothing at all for what was a criminal offence, a the time dcc was worried about the consequences of getting someone into trouble and making things worse. Wish I had overruled the person went on to do something much worse!

So ReallyTired recently a child killed another in school with a 3" folding knife and you say " a swiss army knife is hardly a machete" it is obvious it doesn't need to be a machete to cause harm and that isn't really the point a threat is a threat to just dismiss it as an "inappropriate object" is not good IMO

Bake - that's why I used the word suspect. I didn't say 'the boy won't be in school', but having dealt with a similar incident recently and having experience of other schools where children have not been allowed in school after a knife incident I 'suspect' he won't be in school.

Op you should go in with him in Monday and get the reassurance you want - rather than just not send him in.

A headteacher has to be netural and consider the possiblity that your son and his friend have cooked a cock and bull story together out of spite. If the children were waiting to go into assembly there would be more than one witness. Children to stand in pretty close proximety when they are waiting to go into assembly. If your and his friend are telling the truth then there will be several witnesses who will be able to verify the story even if the accused whispered the threat.

Being innocent until proven guilty applies as much to school children as to adults. A head teacher has to gather evidence before he makes a measured response. The more serious the allegation, the more careful the headteacher has to be.

Schools often have CCTV camera. If the child has branished the knife then it will be easy to prove.

When I was at school, there was a boy who would bring guns into school.
He was a bit odd to say the least and no one ever reported him.

It wasn't my dc or dc friend who reported the knife being shown off originally by the way. It was another child. With five witnesses...

I'm also pretty damn sure the year head knowing my child very well will know this isn't a 'cock and bull story' made up by them out of spite. My dc is notorious for other children reporting incidents they have seen which have happened to my dc because dc has issues with approaching adults to report. This has been getting better thankfully but dc only trusts one or two members of staff.

I work in a Primary, our Head would have phoned. Although s/he may have been busy a phone call to reassure you after the child had been dealt with should have been forthcoming. Perhaps you will receive one over the weekend once sanctions have been put in place. The Head may have had a meeting with Governors too. I would want reassurance for the safety of your child for Monday as I'm sure your DC with be anxious /frightened. Whilst it may have been an empty threat you can't take the risk.
I can remember standing in line for the bus when a boy in our class got into an argument with a girl. Next thing he pulled out a penknife and sliced her blazer down the back it so easily have been her spine. I was shocked but so was he with what he had done.

That's how I felt, I wasn't really prepared to take the chance. Also I did consult the police and they said it was a crime if the threatened person felt as if they meant it so I told the school that too on the Monday.

I think if I could do it again I would have kept dd at home on the Monday until I knew it was dealt with, as it was they had rung me by 10 and he had been removed by then but she didn't know that and she isn't particularly sensitive like your ds. Look after him OP. X

I didn't say she was over reacting; I was responding to her AIBU question about not being called back by the school today instead of Monday. The school said they'd call her on Monday, and she didn't argue the point with them. Presumably, they are taking it seriously and she can go in on Monday or call first thing to make sure this is true.

OP didn't ask what she should have done. If it was me, yes, I would have called the police if the children involved were 10 or older. No questions asked. I would have called the police. Threatening someone with a knife is not something I would mess around with. But the OP has implied she is expecting the school to do something and waiting for their response.

I think you being reasonably unreasonable; most parents would be in the circumstances. I hope it goes OK on Monday.

Have you called the Police op? I would be calling the Police then taking my child in to the office on Monday morning to find out exactly what was happening before I decided if my child was going to school that day.

I don't care what kind of knife it was or what his intent was, I wouldn't want to he threatened or cut with a penknife and I would consider that worthy of telling the Police about.

I would hope it is being dealt with and you will be contacted before Monday. Governors should be involved and that might take time. However, you are not yet certain that the incident where your son was threatened is part of the picture the people 'dealing with it' have so YANBU.

Go in with him on Monday and don't budge or let him go to class until you have been informed of the state of affairs by someone in senior management, not a secretary. If you are not happy then consider taking him home again, calling the police and writing to governors. Don't yell. Stay calm and forceful. Document everything.

As a teacher I have encountered pupils being intimidated by a boy with a knife. He was off the premises before half an hour had gone by and never seen again.
I have also spent a weekend with a very frightened DD. I kept her off school until I was assured of her safety. The school blinked first. I repeat, document everything if you go down that route.

I would call the police too

'A swiss army penknife is hardly a machete.'

That's not the first thing that'd pop into my head if I was being threatened with a knife, 'Ach, it's only a small one'

The school is being totally unreasonable OP, it's not on to leave you and your DS worrying over such a serious thing for the whole of the weekend.

Why should the boy with the knife get precedence over the boy he's threatened it with?? Yes, of course he should be stopped and dealt with but not so they're leaving your DS wondering whether he's going to have to see this boy in school on Monday.

I agree with the other posters saying to go to the police yourselves about it, see what they make of it all.

I was going to write similar to Enoch above about Monday but I would already have called the police. It is a criminal matter as well as a school matter and school don't actually have any right to decide if you choose to involve the police or not, although many have their preferences.
I would have to keep my child at home though as the stress of the weekend and then the uncertainty and anxiety of Monday morning's meeting would have tipped him completely over into total school refusal. You may find that your son sees this more positively and is comforted by seeing you being proactively protective of him.
It's hard to reassure them adequately when you don't know what is going on and what you can expect in terms of your child's on going safety.
But certainties that you will do everything possible to keep him safe will hopefully ease his worry.
However you choose to proceed I hope you do get good support from the school and come Monday things are sorted to your satisfaction.