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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected the head to ring TONIGHT

179 replies

owlsintheflowerpatch · 11/03/2016 17:58

Have name changed as this will out me.

A child in dc year brought a knife into school yesterday. They showed the knife to the kids on their table before form. Dc described it as a pen knife with tools. He was showing off the knife bit. A boy on the table said he was going to report to the year head.

Today as dc and a friend were queuing for assembly and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get in the hall my dc was pushed and accidently bumped into the child who had had the knife the day before.

The child turned round and told my dc and their friend that if they pushed him again he would get them with the knife.

My dc has tried to find the year head but was unable to, dc has sen and is very shy and has issues approaching adults so did not feel comfortable approaching anyone else.

Dc rang me as soon as they came out of the gates to tell me, I rang school, the head and year head were apparently with the child after they had found out about the knife from the boy who said he would report. They were unaware until then that my dc had been threatened.
They did not speak to me at all (may have been with parents) and told me that they would speak to my dc on Monday and call me after then.

AIBU to think given the seriousness of the nature of the incident that someone should have phoned me after the meeting with the child if only to reassure me it was being dealt with and reassure my dc rather than a message through the office member and leaving us to stew all weekend or am I over reacting because I am cross about the incident?

OP posts:
Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 13:44

I have done so in regards to dc telling someone. They didn't because they have sen and two others said they were and left the room.

Regarding the incident in which dc was directly involved dc did try and find the year head and form teacher and couldn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 13:46

Sorry my last reply was to Goblin in regards to ramming it into dc head about telling. It's something that has been a long term issue here.

OP posts:
SohowdoIdothis · 14/03/2016 13:47

It's a police matter , the school should be taking instruction from the police, unless the school is in some special place that is not governed by UK law.

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 13:55

Spoke to the office (again) still no call back Angry

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 14/03/2016 13:58

Have you spoken to the police?

ArmfulOfRoses · 14/03/2016 14:39

I am appalled.
Even a phone call to ask how ds is/was over the weekend and giving a time to call back with progress update if nothing to tell first thing this am would have been something.

Police now, although I too would have already called.

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 14:45

To be quite honest as dc was already not very happy in school for unrelated reasons I am seriously considering whether I want my child in the school still 😢

I have had off the record advice btw away from school. If I don't receive a satisfactory response tonight it will become on the record. I wanted to give school time to respond as I thought they would appropriately. To be honest I no longer feel confident in that.

OP posts:
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 14/03/2016 15:07

Ring now and say "failure to contact me by O'clock and I will be ringing the police to take a statement as it appears you aren't going to"

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 15:16

Spoke to dc. Still no call from school. Several children overheard the threat and have written statements backing my dc up.

OP posts:
Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 14/03/2016 15:32

Apparently the school aren't going to ring me until they know what the head has decided according to dc. No reassurance call nothing. I've had to find out from my twelve year old that they are safe to go to school for the next few days after being left from Friday till now. Also found out child has siblings in school :(

OP posts:
Sootica · 14/03/2016 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 14/03/2016 16:03

Bloody hell, I thought you'd have had a call first thing today, unbelievable that they're not going to contact you until the head decides to get their arse in gear.

Agree with other posters that you need to take the matter in hand and let the police know (although I wouldn't bother to tell the office, the police can do that)

bakeoffcake · 14/03/2016 16:15

Owl you have given them enough chances to contact you.

Please make this official now. The HT needs a complete kick up the backside! A visit/call from the police may focus his mind.

lunar1 · 14/03/2016 16:19

You have given them every chance, ring the police.

grannytomine · 14/03/2016 16:22

I think you have been very patient. I never like the idea of running straight to the Police with children of this age as if they get a record it is with them for life but I think you have to put your son first (I know you know that) and if the school won't deal I don't think you have any choice but to involve the Police.

Arneb · 14/03/2016 16:26

I'd be reporting it to the police now and telling the office that I am doing so because of the failure of the H of Y to speak to me about it

I'd do this now.

I'd have expected to be reassured by someone senior before leaving my child with them on Monday.

BernardlookImaprostituterobotf · 14/03/2016 17:47

I have been thinking of you over the weekend and was hoping you would have a resolution.
Tbh I did think this was the way it was likely to go because of the lack of proactive management by the school on Friday. Unfortunately familiar.

The school need a kick up the arse. You know I'd have called the police already but I'd also be starting an official complaint. This is not good enough. Not at all.
I'm sorry it happened and that you have been left swinging in the breeze. Your poor lad.

LindyHemming · 14/03/2016 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 15/03/2016 09:30

Thanks all. Still no call. Even my teacher friends are gobsmacked.

Complaint going in. I mean I know statements have been taken and the head is dealing with it but only through my own child. Not even a don't worry this child is not in school this week your child is safe we are sorry this has happened call.

At the moment it isn't a permament solution from what i have heard so it would be really nice if i was aware when the child was back so dc was aware in advance.
Dc at police cadets tonight with two police officers, a sergent (sp?) and the ex school police office from their school so i don't really need to worry too much on that side, particularly as they are always asked if anything has happened during the week...

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MrsHathaway · 15/03/2016 09:55

The fact they haven't rang me back makes me feel they aren't taking seriously something which involves a child in school threatening my child with a knife when they actually did have a knife on them.

I would be astonished if "child in possession of knife threatens another child with said knife" weren't an absolute priority for a HT. I agree that a good HT would at the very least have rung you for a thirty-second "hope DS is feeling ok; we are taking this very seriously; if you or DS need more support from us my door is pen at any time" holding call.

The HT doesn't need to (and shouldn't) give you details of precisely what's happening, but s/he absolutely should be reassuring you that the correct procedures are being followed and thereby proving that safeguarding every student is his/her top priority.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 15/03/2016 10:00

It might be worth a call to the local authority? Give your county councillor a call and ask them who the bester person to speak to would be.

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 15/03/2016 10:05

'a good HT would at the very least have rung you for a thirty-second "hope DS is feeling ok; we are taking this very seriously; if you or DS need more support from us my door is pen at any time" holding call.'

^^ That is all I wanted MrsHathaway Sad

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DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/03/2016 14:18

If it school is an academy there's no point calling the local authority. They have no jurisdiction.
I am shocked you've still heard nothing. Hope it's resolved soon.

Original poster
owlsintheflowerpatch · 16/03/2016 18:40

Well slight update.
Still no call from school.
Year head told dc I can call him anytime despite me obviously trying many times.
Dc told school police officer at police cadets.

Won't go into details about the child as not my place but needless to say they will be back in my childs form in a couple of weeks.

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Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 16/03/2016 18:51

What did the police officer say?

This needs to now be in writing to school copied to Govenors expressing your concern at their lack of concern