AIBU to be angry with DH for reporting my DB for benefit fraud

[ninja1890]

Help first time post as I need some perspective please. My DH has confessed to me that he has recently reported my DB for benefit fraud.

We have both suspected for some time that this is the case as he is a single father and seems to have alot of excess income. Think haircuts, tattoos, new clothes weekly nights out etc. He has never worked and has just booked a holiday and is saving to get married to his new partner - they don't currently live together.

We don't have any proof but DH reasons that if we suspect we should report. I can't help feeling angry that he has done this. If my DB isn't defrauding the system he has nothing to worry about but it will probably result in a suspension of benefit and worry. Also I am worried about the implications for my DN etc

My in laws seemed to have quite a lot of money without working - it wasn't benefit fraud - turned out one was committing armed robbery and the other was a prostitute.
Benefit fraud would have been a relief frankly.

As for not grassing on family memeber, well that kept my rapist murderer uncle out of prison so I'm not a fan of that ethos.

'We don't have any proof' On what actual grounds did he say he was reporting him then? How will he/you feel if he's right and your DB goes to prison? (It happens ....) I would be absolutely furious and questioning what his real motivation was. I personally wouldn't even do this to someone I hated.

those saying you should report even though there's no reason to believe there any benefit fraud - do you believe everybody on benefits should be reported, just in case?

obviously if someone is claim to be single but cohabiting, or claiming they have no income but doing cash in hand work, etc. Then report because benefit fraud is wrong. But when the only reason you have is you're jealous of their benefit money then its just evil to report.

This reminds me to that thread a few weeks ago where the BIL had admitted intentionally inducing a slam on in his car so he could claim whiplash and money for his car he couldn't get through its MOT.

Loads of posters piled in to say that he was a poor soul who just did what he had to do to survive, and that they're sure he checked that the car behind had no children in the back before he did it, poor love. And so the OP should absolutely not report him.

It's very strange. This sort of thing (both benefit and insurance fraud) is not a victimless crime. Those who do it make it worse for everyone who doesn't, and they should be reported and dealt with under the law and face the consequences.

Having dependent children is not an excuse to commit crime and get away with it, otherwise where do you draw the line?

The problem with being accused of benefit fraud is that - and I know this sounds like I am making it up - you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

They can suspend your benefits while they investigate. It is a criminal offence. He will also have to pay back the overpayment of benefits if found guilty.

As your DH had no proof of fraud, it was unreasonable for him to report your DB.
This is only going to hurt the kids.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/benefits-introduction/problems-with-benefits-and-tax-credits/benefit-fraud/

What does he exactly suspect your brother of doing?

Is it living with his partner without telling anyone?
Is it working cash or hand?

Does he have any actual proof other than your brother has new clothes and a new haircut? If not then YANBU.

Well, not quite, AyeAmarok, because the brother had said he was doing it deliberately beforehand.

This is more the equivalent of 'My brother braked sharply and another car hit him. He says a badger ran out, but I have decided he's lying. AIBU to report him for insurance fraud?'

If there's a reason to suspect fraud, then it's a duty to report it regardless of who it is. Fraud, be it retail, banking, or benefits costs us all in the long run

I agree with this but am not quite sure that I understand why a seasoned benefit fraud related professional would think "he has tattoos hair cuts an new clothes" is on any planet a reason to suspect fraud.

The op's brother is not showing any tangible outward signs of fraud nor is he giving any indication of it.

It just sounds like he either manages his money well or utilises provie loans frequently.

Those who do it make it worse for everyone who doesn't, and they should be reported and dealt with under the law and face the consequences.

I find it hard to get too worked up about someone on the bones of their arse wrongly claiming a few extra kid when you look at the likes of starbucks and Google.
My DF used to work for what is now HMRC but was then Inland Revenue investigating serious tax evasion (evasion NOT avoidance) and he would get so far and the word would come from 'on high' to drop it.The unvoiced reason being the taxpayer was a big government supporter.this happened under both Labour and Tory governments.he got so fed up with the corruption he took early retirement

Fraud should be reported - well done OP's DH and shame on anyone who thinks it is 'grassing'

If I had reason to believe someone was committing fraud I'd report but nothing mentioned suggests this person is. Just because you live payday to payday and he 'appears' to have money for things you consider frivolous your H has made a pretty big leap to assume fraud.

Do you know the inner workings of his finances? Are you close enough. It doesn't red like you have that relationship.

MrsGuyofGisbo For me it's not about grassing. From the OP's posts it sounds like they don't know whether he is committing fraud and they have no proof. I wouldn't report someone for benefit fraud if I didn't have enough proof, the OP's brother will now have his benefits stopped and he will end up being behind in his bills and debts.

The brother is OP's family, if they actually believed he was committing benefit fraud they would have something other than new clothes and a haircut.

Op, you both suspect that your brother is committing fraud.

Was your husband supposed to ask your permission or not report if you didn't agree?

Trying not to give too much detail but post is genuine! Our reason for speculating that there may be fraud is that DB spends more time at his DPs house than at home. So there is a home fully paid for that is not being used full time although they don't live together.

We did discuss it but didn't agree to report it and I don't want to put DB in a difficult position but it's too late now

I would be absolutely furious if my dp reported a member of my family, whatever his private thoughts were on the issue. furious. Its none of his business and its shitstirring and troublemaking

If that were my DP, I imagine it would probably be the end of the relationship.

Fraud is wrong, but family comes first in my opinion. I think the way a lot of you would be prepared to throw your own family under the bus over a few quid is awful.

Good on your DH. If your DB is committing fraud he deserves to have his benefits stopped.

family absolutely comes first

otherwise what on earth is the point?

Maybe he has won the lottery and doesn't want you (or your nosey DH) to know?

I dont understand why you would report somebody with absolutely no evidence? Maybe he has inherited some money? What a horrible thing to do to your brother! Do you not like him?

I think YABU without having definate proof. Lots of people I know who rely heavily on benfits have holidays/ weekends away/ nails done etc. They are able to afford stuff that you wouldn't necessarily think they could but I think they manage it by either careful budgeting or family giving them money/ help so are doing nothing wrong really.

You can get hair cut free by students, cheap clothes from charity shops. (Prob free tattoos by trainees to!)