To wonder, where will a Trans pupil sleep on my DS's Europe trip?

[VioletVaccine]

In DS's form, there is a M2F trans pupil, aged 14. For the purpose of this, I'll call her Jenny, who used to be Jack.
Jack now identifies as Jenny, and is accepted as the gender she identifies as.
I don't know (it's none of my business) whether she takes hormones or not, but she dresses, lives, and wants to be considered as a female.
The vast majority of people have been accepting and understanding of the difficulties faced.
Jenny uses the disabled or staff bathrooms, and has a separate area to change after (girls) PE.
However, when the school year travel to Europe this year, I want to make a polite enquiry as to the sleeping arrangements.
This is a 6 day trip, 6 days 5 nights.
Boys are generally in one area of the hotel during school overnight excursions, and girls in the other, with respective form tutors overseeing the pupils when lights go out.
Jenny, according to DS, will be sleeping with her female best friends.
However, despite how she feels, she still has a Penis.
Should she really be in a dorm with three other girls?
Whatever Jenny identifies as her gender, her sexuality is not necessarily geared towards the opposite sex. Maybe she could be a M2F lesbian, who is attracted to girls?

Would you want your 14 year old daughter to share a room with an anatomically correct male for a week? I wouldn't.

And similarly, should someone who believes they are female, be forced to share a dorm with 3 teenage boys she isn't friends with?

Im hoping for some thoughts on how you'd handle this, and also, how to actually broach it with DS's school without being labelled a transphobic woman, a bigot, or any of the other terms that are so commonly used when you question the logistics of a situation like this?

Thank you.

OP, what "capability" does Jenny have that no other child on the trip has and how does that impact your son or you?

This is everyone's business as what happens in these situations as they are the first sets a precedent. What is important is that people are not made to feel they cannot express their view for fear of being politically incorrect.

So it's ok to set the precedent that giving details of sleeping children to whatever stranger asks for them?

I agree

I would want to know what the schools policies are and how they are taking all children's welfare and needs into account

A parent has the right to ask about any policy in school. They do not necessarily have the right to ask about individual circumstances not connected to them.

I think that's the bit that people are confused about and think we (well maybe just me) that misunderstood. I thought you were going to be asking about this individual and not the policy

In this case yes

It's expected when children go away they share bedrooms and bathrooms with children of the same sex

If this seems not to be happening then parents have the right to challenge the school. This is all new to the vast majority of us and needs to be treated with consideration for all and needs to be discussed

Stranger?

Dione you mean parent.

Inertia I totally agree.

I've taken quite a lot of flak on this thread for raising what I still do think is a legitimate issue. That if this is allowed, does it then set a precedent for future trips, and also, whether it should be allowed at all.
It makes me wonder if people are actually okay with it happening, or are they just silently going along with other peoples choices for fear of being labelled negatively for daring to question the decision.

OP, would you ask about this individual though?

Do you mean would I ask about them at school, KatieT12?

Yeah OP, because I think that isn't fair. However, policy is okay - if you're one to know inside out on their policies (if I'm honest, I'm not so I wouldn't bother until your DDs were in that situation)

The OP is a stranger to Jenny and the friends that Jenny is sharing a room with.

Why are people going on about sexuality/sexual orientation?
The issue here is not whether "Jenny" might be sexually attracted to someone in the dorm they are sharing, surely.
And the diability issue is not comparable, sorry.

No KatieT12 of course I wouldn't.
I have as little right to know who Jenny is in a dorm with, as Jenny's parents have to know who is in DS's room.

I want to ask the school, whether the dorms are sex segregated as they have always been, or, are pupils now allowed to share mixed sex rooms based on their own self-identification.

Posie, is that what "transgender" means to you, the desire to wear a dress?shock

At this point, the only difference between Jenny and the boys in the class is the clothes that Jenny wears.
Jenny isn't a girl on the inside, that's not possible.

"It's not what she will do, it's what she has the capability to do."

Your son has the exactly the same capability, being the owner of a penis.

I'm confused by this too Felicity, unless of course they don't accept some people identify as a gender without the 'correct' genitals.

I'm following the thread as I'm intrigued with what the school's policy says and whether they'll make provision for Jenny and her friends.

I understand the concerns about a prescidence being set but if there are clear guidelines on decisions made on a case by case bases (I.e approval of all parents) I can't see the issue.

Yes zariah and that's why the op's son won't be sharing a dorm with the girls

Yes Zariyah and op's son won't be sleeping in the same room as girls will he...

Ah yes because rape only ever happens when rooms are shared.

Don't think anybody said that though did they.

I thought we segregated on sex for dignity and privacy, not because men may rape women. I strongly support every individual's right to privacy. No female student should be made to share with a male bodied individual. This isn't the issue though. The girls might have given permission to share in these specific circumstances. Like it or not, the law protects people who identify as transgender.

Like it or not, the law protects people who identify as transgender.
as it should, as long as that protection is not given at the cost of others losing theirs.

It's not about rape
How many times
It's about what you have just put in your later post - privacy, dignity, respect. That's why males don't share spaces with females.