To wonder, where will a Trans pupil sleep on my DS's Europe trip?

[VioletVaccine]

In DS's form, there is a M2F trans pupil, aged 14. For the purpose of this, I'll call her Jenny, who used to be Jack.
Jack now identifies as Jenny, and is accepted as the gender she identifies as.
I don't know (it's none of my business) whether she takes hormones or not, but she dresses, lives, and wants to be considered as a female.
The vast majority of people have been accepting and understanding of the difficulties faced.
Jenny uses the disabled or staff bathrooms, and has a separate area to change after (girls) PE.
However, when the school year travel to Europe this year, I want to make a polite enquiry as to the sleeping arrangements.
This is a 6 day trip, 6 days 5 nights.
Boys are generally in one area of the hotel during school overnight excursions, and girls in the other, with respective form tutors overseeing the pupils when lights go out.
Jenny, according to DS, will be sleeping with her female best friends.
However, despite how she feels, she still has a Penis.
Should she really be in a dorm with three other girls?
Whatever Jenny identifies as her gender, her sexuality is not necessarily geared towards the opposite sex. Maybe she could be a M2F lesbian, who is attracted to girls?

Would you want your 14 year old daughter to share a room with an anatomically correct male for a week? I wouldn't.

And similarly, should someone who believes they are female, be forced to share a dorm with 3 teenage boys she isn't friends with?

Im hoping for some thoughts on how you'd handle this, and also, how to actually broach it with DS's school without being labelled a transphobic woman, a bigot, or any of the other terms that are so commonly used when you question the logistics of a situation like this?

Thank you.

"Teenagers have self control just like anyone else"

Yeah right. That would be why they are legally considered children without capacity to consent until the age of 16 and are not allowed to drive or vote for several more years.

Cote I already explained that in my long post, if you're that interested, look back

If you can't see how important a conversation this is, Katie, then I suggest you consider popping out of your bubble for a bit.

This is much, much bigger than one child, on one school trip.

And it has the potential to affect every one of us.

If you don't think it's important Katie you are free to leave the thread.

Plenty of us here find this subject incredibly important. It's happening in more and more schools, if parents are shamed for voicing or sharing their concerns publicly these changes will be brought in easily and girls will lose their right to bodily privacy.

Katie, at what point are you actually going to read the responses which say quite clearly it is because a clear boundary and action plan must be in place to safeguard all pupils, including Jenny, any future FTM, MTF, boys and girls.

It is because precedent cannot be allowed to be set by a woolly "oh, but the girls in this instance are totes cool with it all".

No you didn't. I'm talking about the child aged FOUR who already has a changed birth certificate.

Defend it if you can.

No, I'm not saying that, but for it to affect them that much to make a MN post isn't normal, when it doesn't directly affect them and isn't even a massive concern. I'm not saying that if you see a child get hit, you shouldn't give a flying fuck because it wasn't your child, but for something personal like this I don't understand how posting on here help? If you have a concern, ask the school, if it's about someone else. This post was obviously made for people to argue.

"Isn't a massive concern"

Are you for real Katie?

Cote I wrote all my views here:

I'm not saying they cannot keep their penis or vagina... I'm really not because they can if they so wish, I just think it's so complicated and of course, be looking into first and have an assessment before they can just say they are the other gender... I'm not saying it's a mental illness or anything, but like any other condition would - people have to be seen to be diagnosed with bipolar/depression, etc. or a broken wrist, you know.

However, during childhood I don't believe a child should even be aware of transgender... Kids can do and wear and act how ever they want... I do think it's wrong for a parent to then assume they are transgender and send them off to a doctor. However, a teenager is a different story, I really think it is and I can't see any benefit to a teenager pretending they're a female, so they can jump into bed with the girls... I completely think that they feel like the opposite gender. I've worked with someone before who has said that they still love dresses and pink stuff and everything 'girly' but feels as if they are a boy and I don't think anyone who hasn't been there can say that it isn't real or it doesn't exist

However, I will leave, cba for a post made for arguing

It's a massive concern to me, Katie

Unfortunately mn is one of the only places left that allows these kinds of discussions without heavy censorship. So yeah, we're going to keep arguing for the rights of women and children to be protected here, thanks.

I thought AIBU was supposed to be for arguing?

Ha, i missed that gem first time...

"I can't see any benefit to a teenager pretending they're a female, so they can jump into bed with the girls"

No... AIBU is for people to ask if they are being unreasonable, never saw anything about arguing, but okay

I can therefore detemine that katie has never met a teenage boy!!

I think most teenage boys would rather not have to dress up as a girl during their school life, to have one night with a girl. Certainly if you brought them up properly.

And if posters disagree about whether the OP is BU it leads to an ....?

I work with teenage boys, I'm fully aware.

Fuck knows how you brought them up though... To think 6 years of hell is worth it for a night with a girl, okay

Still pmsl

So what are these girls wearing then? All the teenage girls i know wear jeans

for it to affect them that much to make a MN post isn't normal, when it doesn't directly affect them and isn't even a massive concern

For you. It is clearly for others obviously.

Katie - I think the word that has slipped out of your head for the moment is 'discussion'. Or possibly 'debate'.

"Cote I wrote all my views here:"

As I said, none of that is relevant for a FOUR-year-old. You implied that it is never the parents who "trans" their child. Do you believe that is the case when the child in question has a new birth certificate by the time she is 4?

Or do parents have a role to play in setting the child on that particular path in this case?

You all sound like the types of parents who would disown their kid if they said they were transgender.

Is this really about shagging? No. It's about private spaces. Girls and boys are entitled to have sex segregated space where appropriate. A school residential is one of those.

Cote I wrote about the children, that involves 4 year olds and I said it is wrong for parents to make their child feel like it means they're trans. However, a teenager who says they are trans normally hasn't stemmed from a parent

KatieT12

This post was obviously made for people to argue.

No, this post was added to invite thoughts, and hopefully reasonable discussion because I do think it is important.
The person being most argumentative is you.